Miscellaneous: Today, I discovered that the rancid stench in my bathroom was... - FML

By Ewwwwww - 04/02/2010 18:53 - United States

Today, I discovered that the rancid stench in my bathroom was a decaying carcass of a mouse in my toilet tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 671

You deserved it 3 329

Mother of the year

BO Central

Fire hydrant

By darthinvader - 16/07/2010 00:17 - United States

Today, I took some new allergy medicine I had never tried before, and I didn't bother reading the side effects. I then went to school. It was almost an hour before dismissal when I had felt a warm feeling on my legs. One of the side effects to my new medicine was bladder control problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 977

You deserved it 27 611

By Mrs. Man - 02/02/2012 18:29 - United States

Today, a stranger told me how proud he was that my boyfriend and I were so open with our sexuality. For the past three years, most strangers have thought we are a pair of gay men. I am a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 874

You deserved it 7 608

By puggles - 03/01/2011 06:52 - United States

Today, I found out that my beautiful engagement ring is a remake of the late Princess Diana's engagement ring. I also found out my fiancé bought it from an infomercial, for $19.95. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 589

You deserved it 7 729

By opinaise - 02/08/2012 13:00 - France - Toulouse

Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 016

You deserved it 3 973

By lexiiiiiiweee - 19/02/2010 22:00 - United States

Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 586

You deserved it 3 810

By Anonymous - 09/11/2010 11:34 - Sweden

Today, at work, after a visit to the bathroom, the lock broke in my hand and the door was jammed. I called the janitor on my cellphone and told him about the situation. He told me to fill out a complaint and leave it in his post box. He then hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 211

You deserved it 2 766

Thanks for the help

By Anonymous - 12/04/2021 14:00

Today, both my mom and I are very ill, while her boyfriend is perfectly fine. Somehow, this means that I’m the one having to take care of my mom, myself, the household and 6 pets, while he does nothing, goes on trips and leaves dirt all over the house when he’s here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 102

By Perdedor - 07/01/2009 21:54 - United States

Today, my boss called me in to tell me I had got a raise. I bought a $1500 Chanel bag. Two hours later he called me in to tell me he was kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 878

You deserved it 44 829

By Anonymous - 13/07/2017 21:30

Today, the manager that hired me and worked for years to inspire and connect her staff was laid to rest. Hours before the funeral, her replacement told me he wanted my 2 weeks notice on his desk tonight. I've been a model employee, he just doesn't like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 485

You deserved it 260

By bannana0zoom - 03/03/2012 08:06 - Canada

Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 924

You deserved it 7 947

By 713 - 29/08/2010 01:36 - United States

Today, the girl I like sent me a Facebook message telling me how the message I left on her phone was one of the funniest drunk dials she's ever gotten. I'm debating whether or not I should tell her that I don't drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 442

You deserved it 4 172

By MCKilllerrr - 18/01/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, the girl I really liked started talking to me, so I asked her out on a date. After waiting an hour at the theatre, I texted her asking where she was. She replied with, "Oh! You were serious about the date?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 707

You deserved it 3 510

By Dan223 - 01/10/2015 13:26 - United States

Today, I saw my dad for the first time in almost five years, at his funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 489

You deserved it 3 715

By Anonymous - 15/10/2011 18:54 - United States

Today, I learned that when I got my driver's permit, I agreed to be the designated driver for my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 301

You deserved it 4 226

By soapypete - 22/10/2010 13:26 - United States

Today, before a big client pitch I went into their office bathroom to quickly slick down my hair. It had two identical automatic faucets, one for water and one for hand soap. Now my hair is full of soap, and smells like industrial strength lavender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 205

You deserved it 30 865

By nasty_ex - 21/06/2011 12:25 - Australia

Today, I finally found out who has been sending me hate letters, it's my husband's ex-wife. They've been divorced for 7 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 588

You deserved it 3 374

By Anonymous - 01/01/2011 13:30 - United States

Today, my fiancé suggested we bring his elderly mother with us on our honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 760

You deserved it 3 470

Downhill

By worthless - 03/04/2011 00:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was reading my boyfriend's online diary. It started off really sweet, saying he was in a wonderful relationship with me, and how he utterly adored me. It then slowly progressed into loathing and wondering what he ever saw in me, all because I have a low sex-drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 983

You deserved it 19 298

Evil

By Courts - 28/02/2017 21:30 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I had a shift as a carer in a high-rise disability home, and working with a lady whom was once a midwife. She had a toy baby, and was rocking it. When I asked her what she was going to do what the baby so she could come to lunch, she casually threw the baby off the balcony and shrugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 461

You deserved it 504

Can't buy me love

By Anonymous - 23/11/2020 04:02 - Japan - Okayama

Today, I realized while paying bills on my phone I fat-fingered which credit card I was paying and sent 299 to a paid-off card instead of 200 to another one. Now I'm going to have overdraft fees too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 393

By jgboy - 14/09/2014 15:32 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 087

You deserved it 9 468

By Well this Is Awkward - 17/12/2013 20:02 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend gave me his theory on how the world would be a better place if Hitler had won the 2nd World War. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 838

You deserved it 6 589

By APRRECIATION - 24/05/2009 06:46 - Canada

Today, I got back from a service trip to Kenya, where I had no running water or electricity. I encouraged my friends to go green and help raise awareness by conserving as much electricity as possible. I return home to find that all my lights have been on for 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 418

You deserved it 63 937

Revenge is sweet yogurt

By Doomed - 24/07/2021 08:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, my coworker made up a story about me “sexually harassing” her and filed a complaint to my boss. All because I took the last plastic spoon from the breakroom, and she couldn’t eat her yogurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 73

By Duckie W - 13/02/2009 01:24 - United States

Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister. Like, you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 618

You deserved it 6 202

By Booooolette - 22/06/2016 04:27 - France - Beauvais

Today, I managed to fracture my shoulder blade and dislocate my shoulder, just by falling off a deckchair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 905

You deserved it 1 264

By achoo-plop - 30/11/2015 01:17 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I learned that the only way for me to have a complete bowel movement is to blow my nose at the same time. However, I learned this while standing in my girlfriend's kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 524

You deserved it 1 972

By kfoehslfns - 01/08/2010 08:45 - United States

Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 358

You deserved it 12 680

By anonymous22kittylicklick - 20/08/2011 04:44 - United States

Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 392

You deserved it 2 833

By InsomniacToBe - 19/07/2012 15:55 - United States - Saint George

Today, I had a dream that my ex-boyfriend had become a vicious serial killer and was hunting me down because I broke up with him. I don't know what scares me more: the way he hunted me in my sleep, or the fact that it wouldn't surprise me if it actually happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 916

You deserved it 3 852

By PizzaNIF - 13/07/2016 17:58 - United States - Henderson

Spicy

Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 709

You deserved it 1 313

They're all yours

By anonymous - 10/06/2009 20:05 - United States

Today, I was having a garage sale and my mother-in-law came by to see what I was selling. She decided to buy these ugly green wine glasses that were still unopened. It turns out that she gave those to my wife and I when we got married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 923

You deserved it 43 358

Not likely in 2020

By Anonymous - 23/10/2020 20:02 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I’m stuck not being able to sleep, because the thought of someone actually caring about me occurred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 147

By Thank you, exactly what I wanted Sergeant - 21/08/2016 13:53

Today, my drill sergeant found out it's my birthday. I spent the rest of the day scrubbing large, filthy pots for the entire base of 2000+ and scrubbing grime off of bathroom walls. Happy birthday to me! FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 460

You deserved it 1 553

By my back hurts - 04/09/2013 05:25 - Australia - Campbelltown

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 511

You deserved it 7 408

By Disgruntled ADP - 26/10/2018 08:30 - United States - Dallas

Today, we moved desks for the umpteenth time, and my supervisor stuffed me in a corner by the door with no one around to talk to. The worst thing is I hear the badge reader beep every few seconds. It's already driving me crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 273

You deserved it 184

By Alisha-_- - 23/11/2018 03:00

Today, I found out that the love of my life had been pleasuring himself to pictures of my ex-boyfriends. Yes, he's bisexual. He says it's ok because I'm dating him now. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 157

You deserved it 429

Tense

By Anon - 06/04/2021 07:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my doctor told me if my blood pressure gets any higher, he could use me to reinflate the air in his tyres. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 118

By Anonymous - 21/10/2010 08:21 - United States

Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 766

You deserved it 38 507

By kitkat1603 - 16/06/2010 11:32 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend thought he gave me unimaginable pleasure. I didn't have the heart to tell him I had cramp in both my legs at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 850

You deserved it 7 752

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Top comments

davidhasmorefun 0

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Friday 5 February 2010 2:08

today Mickey committed suicide after finding Minnie in bed with Donald.

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Friday 5 February 2010 1:58

ewww

Comments

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Friday 5 February 2010 1:58

ewww

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Friday 5 February 2010 2:12

looks like someone was playing a joke on u lol but thats just nasty

keysshooter1440 1

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Friday 5 February 2010 4:14

you think that is gross?!?!?! i had to remove the wall in my bathroom yesterday to get to the dead rats that are stinking up my house.

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Friday 5 February 2010 4:17

#40- that is gross =S

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Friday 5 February 2010 4:58

cock sucker

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Friday 5 February 2010 5:29

ewwwwwww that's gross! poor u!

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Friday 5 February 2010 6:43

thtsss ittss grotesque!!!! ewwww #40

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Friday 5 February 2010 6:53

Thats nice

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Friday 5 February 2010 7:03

don't you ever poop pee?? or else I don't think It would be dead??

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Friday 5 February 2010 11:38

is that what we're calling it now? Be proud dude and say that you took an epic shit.

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Friday 5 February 2010 1:59

thats horrible!!!!! fyl!!!

yourefreakindumb 0

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Friday 5 February 2010 2:41

I don't get it. Just take it out. Problem solved. Setiously, you're a fuckin idiot. That doesn't fuck your life at all.

Jrook 0

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Friday 5 February 2010 3:38

it's just gross, and it sounds like someone is trying to bioterrorize the family pet

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Friday 5 February 2010 5:23

dude, how disgusting is that to find a soggy decaying carcas od any animal in your bathroom. this is a complete fml. besides it can just be something that just ruins your day

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Friday 5 February 2010 2:00

Yummy.

Puls3ofth3maggot 0

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Friday 5 February 2010 5:08

nom nom nom

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Friday 5 February 2010 5:47

ewwww wtf man, yummy? how the hell is that yummy in any way?

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Friday 5 February 2010 5:52

@#61. it was a joke. ever heard of sarcasm?

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Friday 5 February 2010 6:26

you could make DELICIOUS soup outta that! Nomnomnom!!!!

Jrook 0

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Friday 5 February 2010 13:50

WTF is a sarcasm? either way I feel like nobody should use it

ajthemistress 6

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Friday 5 February 2010 2:00

I would be grossed out and then laugh. Although, poor mouse. :(

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Friday 5 February 2010 5:45

perdix comes through again

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Friday 5 February 2010 7:27

f(the mouse's)l

stereotype_eater 0

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Friday 5 February 2010 2:05

...how did it get in there?

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Friday 5 February 2010 8:18

I agree with #5. How does a rat get into the back part of a toilet.? That's really weird. :b But yeah. This is an FML. Fasho'.

Ser0 0

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Friday 5 February 2010 10:48

rat suicide

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Friday 5 February 2010 2:05

OM NOM NOM NOM-

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Friday 5 February 2010 2:06

Bwhahaha

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Friday 5 February 2010 2:07

Poor mousy drowned in your icky water. D:

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Friday 5 February 2010 2:15

actualy the water in any toilet tank is clean fresh water, unless it's bore water or dam water.

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Friday 5 February 2010 14:12

How did the mouse get into the toilet tank anyway

davidhasmorefun 0

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Friday 5 February 2010 2:08

today Mickey committed suicide after finding Minnie in bed with Donald.

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Friday 5 February 2010 2:11

Haha! Poor Mickey.

x_HELLo_tHERE_x 0

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Friday 5 February 2010 2:12

Huh, go figure... I always pictured her cheating with Goofy.

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Friday 5 February 2010 2:17

She has cheated with Goofy, and every other animated character in DisneyLand.

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Friday 5 February 2010 2:46

"So mister mouse you want a divorce because your wife is demented" "No man, she's F***ing Goofy"

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Friday 5 February 2010 3:51

Minnie is a whore

MF12 0

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Friday 5 February 2010 4:27

haha

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Friday 5 February 2010 5:18

oh gosh #25 is epic win

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Friday 5 February 2010 5:49

hahaha #25 ftw

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Friday 5 February 2010 6:12

"Hello Mickey, what are you here for in the psychologist office?" "Well, I found my best friend and Minnie in bed." "What did you say?" "I said I wanted a divorce to Minnie, and I said to my best friend: DOWN PLUTO!"

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Friday 5 February 2010 6:59

#9 lol too funny! OP- wow that's very disturbing. how could it posibly get there?

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Friday 5 February 2010 2:09

poor, poor master splinter...

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Friday 5 February 2010 7:29

lmfaooooo

MinaIsTheBest 0

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Friday 5 February 2010 2:10

Mhhmm. That sounds good lol

Nearly

Today, I realized that I wore ripped jeand AND ripped boxers to work. Both ripped at the same place, in between the legs. The result was my looking down and seeing my dick halfway out of my trousers. I can't get up from my seat the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30

You deserved it 17

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I'm on day 11 of having COVID. My husband said to me, "I hope you get better soon so we can finally have sex again." Thanks for being concerned about MY health and wellbeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 119

Today, I realized why my boyfriend drove me to his “favorite” hospital about one agonizing hour away while I was in labor. His friend who's a nurse worked there. Or should I say, his side chick. He made out with her in the room while I was “sleeping” after giving birth to our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 95