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The all-time greatest FMLs

I'm so tired

By Anonymous - 24/09/2025 12:00

Today, after a very long day, I needed a hotel room but the only one available was a honeymoon suite. I was so tired, I just said yes. My wife just called demanding to know why I was charging a romantic room to our joint credit card, and if I’ve got a woman with me. I just want to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 92

Nature, nurture…?

By Anonymous - 02/08/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, it seems that despite being twins, my brother and I are very different people. Last week I got written up at work for taking too long a lunch break. This afternoon he got written up for having sex at work, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 127

WAP

By Frustrated - 30/10/2025 20:00

Today, my husband bought me a remote-controlled vibrator, put it in my underwear, and spent the entirety of our date night making it vibrate. I was soaking wet and ready to get fucked. Too bad he drank two bottles of wine during the date and fell asleep the second we got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 102

Fuzzy logic

By It’s just peach fuzz on my cheeks, but still - 08/09/2024 00:00 - United States - New York

Today, I had to come to terms with having more facial hair than my boyfriend, despite being female since birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 88

Pay me!

By Fat - 27/09/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, if I had a dollar for every person who told me that I couldn't possibly have an eating disorder because I'm overweight, I would have enough to pay for therapy to deal with my very real eating disorder and insecurities about my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 147

Silver linings

By Butt Hurt - 10/11/2024 15:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I woke up with a big and very painful pimple on the inside of my butt cheek. Because of my Crohn's disease decided to flare up at the same time, my 3 trips to the bathroom at work were only tolerable because I didn't have to deal with rude customers yelling at me for situations I have no control over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 82

At this point, it's an addiction

By Anonymous - 12/05/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, my mom told me that she never wants to see me again because my family and I did not attend her wedding, which she wanted my youngest to be a flower girl to. I refused because this is her eighth marriage (that's right, 8) and she never learns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 76

Murdered

By Anonymous - 16/02/2021 20:01

Today, I woke up and checked my fish tank. I thought the temperature was too low, so half asleep, I turned it up. Now all my fish are dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 1 049

Respect the dead

By what the fuck is wrong with her? - 27/07/2022 10:00

Today, my idiot stepdaughter wadded up my dead grandma’s quilt instead of folding it neatly after using it. When I asked how she would feel if I wadded up her dead mom’s blanket, she replied that she wouldn’t care, at all. She then had the audacity to ask me to explain what she did wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 1 226

Holy jealousy, Batman!

By Anonymous - 14/05/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, after just two days of asking me to officially be his girlfriend, my boyfriend started following his ex-fiancé. When confronted, he admitted to chatting with her for over two hours about an important family matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 164

Pushover

By WhyEven - 07/03/2022 04:00 - United States - Kula

Today, I was seriously angry with my husband and was making valid arguments as to why he was wrong. He just started kissing me, and we ended up having sex. He knows how to win every argument, and I fall for it everytime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 2 257

Leaky

By Anonymous - 30/04/2026 20:00 - Canada - Cranbrook

Today I woke up to myself (24F) accidentally losing control of my bowels in bed. I’m not sick, just a food intolerance. The worst part is that my fiancé was sound asleep next to me and I had to wake him up to tell him what happened so I could wash the sheets and bed at one in the morning. He's is now sleeping on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 92

This is fine

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 10:00 - United States - Cerritos

Today, I got another parking ticket because I can't afford a parking pass for the school I attend. I now have over $700 in unpaid parking tickets. I have classes all day from Monday-Thursday. I work Friday-Sunday. They recently cut hours at work. Some days I can't afford to feed myself. My mom said, "Figure it out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 502

David Tinfoil

By David - 25/05/2024 09:00 - Ireland - Cork

Today, as an amateur magician, I tried a new trick at my nephew’s birthday party. The trick involved pulling a fake rabbit out of a hat. I didn't realize my nephew had put his real pet rabbit in the hat as a prank. The poor rabbit jumped out, scaring the kids, and causing chaos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 133

Vacation blues

By Anonymous - 24/03/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I set aside an entire week off to watch my parents' house while they went on vacation. I'd only just got here and they'd barely left when the hospital called. My drunk uncle died from a concussion, so my parents cancelled everything. I feel bad for my aunt, but my boss knows where I live, and my dad's an ass. I'm trapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 106

Brave

By Only sad - 25/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I finally gathered the courage to confess my feelings to my best friend. As I was about to tell him, he interrupted me and said, “Oh hey, by the way, I met a guy and we’re going on our first date tonight.” I awkwardly said, “Congrats,” and then I went home to eat an entire pint of ice cream by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 164

Bad week

By poopface82 - 07/06/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, my week started off with cleaning up a literal dumpster fire. Since then, I’ve been falsely accused of stealing someone’s welcome mat, had my water shut off, and had to miss three days of work in order to correct my child care voucher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 81

Skin deep

By I h8 my skin - 11/09/2025 15:00

Today, for the sixth time, I made a girl feel cherished and appreciated, only for her to pick someone else. I have vitiligo all over my skin and face, so girls typically don't look at me twice, and the potential girls I would like to date only "see me as a friend" and pick men with normal skin. I give up on love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 90

No thanks!

By Anonymous - 31/01/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I was at a wedding, and during the bouquet toss, I stood back and let the single ladies have their moment. The bouquet flew straight at me, hit me in the face, and I instinctively grabbed it. Now everyone thinks I’m desperate to get married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 120

Pushy

By Anonymous - 05/08/2021 22:02

Today, I went on a date with my crush and I was so desperate to impress him, I talked him into a blowjob, after he turned down full sex since it was only a first date. He asked me to stop halfway through, because apparently I have bad technique, and hurt him with my teeth. He left. I’m such an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 1 997

Overwhelmed

By Anonymous - 11/04/2024 06:00 - Germany

Today, any regular person might go to work, exercise, shower, shop for groceries, cook some food and spend time with friends. I barely manage to do ONE of those things on any given day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 207

Inflation

By Anonymous - 12/05/2024 16:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, my need for medication that increases bruising collided with my need for major oral surgery. I look like a chipmunk who lost a fight. Just in time for Mother’s Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 89

You, your sex is on fire

By Anonymous - 26/08/2022 18:00

Today, I mixed drunkenness with sensual oils, a lot of whiskey, a massage, and scented candles, which resulted in accidentally setting my husband's back hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 1 191

Stranded and lonely

By Anonymous - 27/09/2024 00:00 - United States - Boise

Today, all I want is someone to talk to. The only person who ever responds is my ex-fiance who cheated on me. Multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 120

Disturbing the peace

By Anonymous - 07/04/2022 22:00

Today, I tried to tell a kid he couldn't skate without a helmet. He called me a Karen and pushed me into a fountain, so I called the cops. The cops arrived and questioned the kid, who said I deserved it for being a Karen. They accepted that, and told me to stop harassing kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 1 949

By Chey1309 - 29/06/2010 03:19 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I looked alright for our date. He said, "Honey, you look fine, just don't go out in public like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 39

Bigmouth Strikes Again

By Bobbi Fett - 31/01/2022 23:00

Today, I told my boyfriend to stand up for himself more often. He now takes very hard stances on his desire for anal sex and his love for the Star Wars Disney+ series. I should’ve kept my big mouth shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 1 498

Are you winning?

By Anonymous - 07/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Akron

Today, I bought grapes. Just grapes. At the checkout, the total was $14. I laughed. The cashier didn’t. Now I'll be eating one grape a day like it's caviar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 121

Make it stop

By MigrainesSuck - 26/05/2026 03:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, it's the third day of me having a migraine. I just want to kill myself. I've tried tablets, no screen for 20 hours, sleep, hydration, food and everything. If it were not for my loving husband and caring kids, I wouldn't hesitate to kill myself. This is a monthly routine now, one week out of order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 56

The writing is on the wall

By Anonymous - 11/11/2024 15:00 - United States - West Chester

Today, I overheard the guy who hired me talking to one of my managers in hushed tones about me. I'm pretty sure he's going to send me an email soon, saying that my job "probably isn't the right fit" for me, which is part of what I overheard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 77

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The Top

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 231

You deserved it 2 492

Today, my parents insisted that despite the fact I've just turned sixteen, I have to save them money by ordering from the children's menu, because I "still look like a twelve year-old." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 749

You deserved it 4 117

Today, my mother told my little sister and me that she has breast cancer to make us feel sorry so that we would clean our rooms. She is perfectly fine. My little sister still thinks that "mommy is going to die". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 873

You deserved it 3 629

Today, I was at work doing phone computer support helping a woman with her computer. I asked her to close all her open windows. She deleted all the important company documents in the open folder instead. I got fired because "close windows" and "delete" have become "too technical" for users. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 871

You deserved it 2 740

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 820

You deserved it 15 207

Today, my bosses pulled me aside and said to me they appreciated me for being such a hard worker, and told me they had something for me. They gave me a one year pin. Today was my 3 year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 74