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The all-time greatest FMLs

Gun control

By Emily - 28/12/2020 17:01

Today, only a few hours after getting certified and buying my first pistol, I dropped it and blew off two of my toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 2 300

By Anonymous - 09/04/2013 10:29 - France - Paris

Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 91

The cost of friendship

By Anonymous - 03/08/2022 12:00

Today, my wife found out about all the crazy stuff my ex and I used to do in my car, which I still drive. Serves me right for encouraging them to be friends. I hope she doesn’t find out about what went down on our ottoman, I can’t afford a new one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 1 506

Sleep cycled out

By ninithel - 24/11/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, I'm doing the school run. I went to bed early and took a sleeping pill for my insomnia so I could be productive. Even if I could sleep past my partner snoring like a cave bear with sinus infection, it turns out that my sleeping pills make me hyper. The next person who says ADHD is fun is getting slapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 151

Collector's delight

By what is wrong with people - 18/09/2025 09:00

Today, my boyfriend said he had a "long nose hair" collection. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. He then showed me a tin of long-ass hairs. I gagged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 114

No way, uh-uh, no, not doing it

By Anonymous - 06/04/2022 06:00

Today, I asked my son to show his grandma how to do some basic stuff on the computer. He said no way, he knows how long it takes old people to grasp computers. I jokingly threatened to ground him for 6 months unless he did it. He took the 6 months without hesitating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 1 225

Gimme a crumb

By Anonymous - 07/06/2025 14:00 - United States - Manlius

Today, my dad informed me that my mother's 100k life insurance policy was being processed perfectly, for him. I rent a falling apart mobile home and work 3 jobs to get by. He owns outright and already gets all her pension benefits, etc. I am receiving nothing as inheritance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 217

Flustered

By Anonymous - 14/02/2025 00:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet a potential client. As soon as I sat down, I knocked my coffee over, and it splashed all over my lap. I tried to play it off by making a joke, but I hadn’t brought a spare pair of pants, and the client turned up just as I was mopping my crotch with paper towels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 138

Spiteful

By Anonymous - 04/11/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I sent my mom a text to tell her about my promotion at work. She responded with, "Who is this?" It turns out that she deleted my number, because I "never call." FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 180

Thanks for the reminder

By have no mom - 16/05/2024 03:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was comforting my friend who has a toxic relationship with her Mom. She said, "If I'm such a failure, they always make it known that I can't live up to their expectations." It caught me a bit off guard when she said, "I wish she would just leave me alone and leave my life just like your mom did." FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 84

Gimme a human

By I HATE THESE BOTS - 03/01/2026 22:00

Today, I spent ten minutes annoyingly arguing with a customer service chatbot, demanding to speak to a real human. When a real human finally joined, they opened with, “So... I see you’ve been yelling at my robot.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 116

Missed opportunities, mixed signals

By Annabell - 07/08/2024 08:00 - United States - Louisa

Today, it's been 5 good months since I reconnected with a guy I've known since elementary. I have him on every social, he called me pretty, etc. We weren't ever together but he acted like my boyfriend. He stopped talking for a month, with messages every now and then, and now he has a girlfriend and doesn't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 203

Freudian slip

By Anonymous - 20/03/2021 03:01 - United States - Trenton

Today, while spacing out about my hot male boss, he called my name for something and I replied, "Yes Daddy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 1 436

Many such cases

By Anonymous - 29/03/2025 11:00 - Canada - Eastern Passage

Today, while trying to pick up dog poo, I tripped and landed in the pile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 115

Butt of the joke

By Dan - 18/09/2024 20:00 - Australia

Today, I found out my family doesn't actually use the secret codeword we've had since childhood for when we’re in trouble. They've just been saying it around me for years because they thought it was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 98

Mixed signals

By Anonymous - 14/08/2023 03:00 - Morocco

Today, a friend and I tell each other everything about our relationships, and we’ve been flirting for two years, but we’re not together. I started to have feelings for him, but I didn’t say anything, then the guy started to disappear and I don't know if he has an avoidant attachment, or he's just ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 512

BDSM FML

By Anonymous - 11/04/2021 11:00 - Australia

Today, I realised I need to grow up when I couldn’t stop laughing throughout a very serious meeting entitled, “Master / Sub Remediation Program.” It’s about electricity meters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 789

Battleground

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 04:00

Today, my son wants to go to Norway for our holiday and my husband wants to go to Disneyland, so of course they decide they can only choose by having a Nerf battle through the entire house. Meanwhile, I seem to be the only one taking anything seriously. This is why I despair of both of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 792

Productivity rules

By emily anne - 28/06/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, while working at my concessions stand job, I was filling up popcorn boxes when my boss came over and told me I needed to be filling the boxes “a LOT faster.” I was going as fast as I possibly could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 138

Perfect performance

By I hate myself - 02/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I walked into a café for the first time, and as I opened the door, I slammed it into the face of a poor barista. Embarrassed, I tried to apologize while holding the door open for a woman behind me, only to have my hand slip and the door crash into her as well. I then stood there, frozen, as both of them just stared at me as I apologized with, "I swear I'm not a moron." FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 110

Free advertising

By Hidingforever - 18/06/2022 12:00

Today, I accidentally joined my Zoom class meeting with my cam girl account. The whole class now knows what my breasts look like, and know that my nickname is “CumKitten.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 2 125

My brain hurts

By Team - 20/07/2025 12:00 - Germany

Today, I feel so tired and hungover after going to the office summer party yesterday. I had no alcohol to drink and I left at 10pm, way earlier than all my team. My team drank a lot and stayed until after 1am. They all showed up earlier and looking better than me, while I'm a trainwreck with a bad headache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 110

I'm in this FML and I don't like it

By stupid as fuck - 24/10/2023 12:00

Today, and everyday, I'm so dumb that if there is no sign, I can’t tell if a door is pull or push. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 315

No kinkshaming

By FutureColombianTourist - 08/11/2023 04:00

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow job as we watched a show about Pablo Escobar. This girl wouldn’t put out on my birthday, but Pablo killing a guy in jail gets her going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 202

Self report

By Bonk - 04/02/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 199

This is what TERFs believe

By Anonymous - 21/08/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the kids got in a fight so my wife told our son boys shouldn’t hit girls, even if his sister is older and bigger. What happened next? He put on his sisters dress, claimed he’s a girl today, then hit his sister in the face with an iPad blacking her eye. I have no idea how to parent this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 241

Do not pass Go

By Anonymous - 16/08/2023 08:00

Today, I've hated being a parent ever since I was baby-trapped at 17, but I stuck through it and never let my son suspect how I really felt, and we have a great relationship now he’s an adult. Well he just moved out yesterday, and today my wife told me she’s pregnant. Here we fucking go again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 1 336

Strike!

By anon - 07/10/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I found out that the reason my husband has been coming home late isn’t because of extra work. It’s because he joined a bowling league... and didn’t want me on the team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 178

Good one, Meemaw

By Anonymous - 21/03/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I was teaching my grandma how to use her new tablet. After explaining and setting everything up, I left her alone to check her email. When I came back, she'd somehow "mistakenly" sent an email to our entire family with the subject line "Help! My grandson thinks I'm a dipshit and has kidnapped me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 111

Beliefs

By OnTheReceivingEnd - 13/04/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I made the mistake of disagreeing with a friend I'd known and cared about for 25 years. The disagreement? She wanted me to believe the exact same way she did. I treated her with dignity and respect for her beliefs, even though I didn't agree with them, but I didn't make that a requirement. She did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 108

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while at a family gathering, I sat down in a chair and it broke. Embarrassed, I picked myself up and sat down in another chair. That one broke too. I'm now the "fat girl" of the family despite weighing 90 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 034

You deserved it 262

Today, following the advice of not putting my wallet in my back pocket, I put my wallet in my jacket's chest pocket. I lost my jacket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 566

You deserved it 1 520

Today, after my boyfriend ignored me for hours playing video games, he gave me some attention for a little bit. When I tried to run my fingers through his hair, I missed and punched him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 958

You deserved it 840

Today, I walked in on my sister shoving her vibrating phone into her privates. Can't erase that image. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 488

You deserved it 3 424

Today, I had a virtual interview for my dream job. Prepared as f**k. One of the interviewers turned out to be my ex, who I dumped for being too dumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 537

Today, whilst chatting with my mum on MSN, she unintentionally sent me an animated emoticon of a penis jerking off repeatedly. I don't even want to know the type of conversation she was having. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 802

You deserved it 2 890