Love: Today, to avoid walking on a thumbtack that had fallen on the...

By punaise ... - 05/12/2014 02:12 - France - Marchaux

Today, to avoid walking on a thumbtack that had fallen on the floor, my little sister took a red sharpie to the carpet and drew a circle around it, "so that way, everyone will see it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 37

Love

Taking stock

Hiding from the drama

Alexa, play "Get The Message" by Electronic

Wild Child

By epic flash - 02/10/2017 20:00

Today, my daughter's quirkiness and eccentricities may have gone to a whole new level when her school faculty described her as "no stranger to LSD". She's 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 034

You deserved it 246

Slasher

By Anonymous - 09/09/2013 17:44 - United States - Sylvania

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 869

You deserved it 5 922

By Slayer - 09/10/2011 23:28 - Canada

Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 543

You deserved it 35 562

By Godhelpme - 16/06/2014 02:21 - United States - Houston

Today, in a last ditch attempt to get away from my psycho coworker, I made my boss transfer me to another branch in the district. My coworker was immediately moved to that branch, because we "work well together". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 217

You deserved it 4 670

Living a lie

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 11:01

Today, I realized I'm very much in love with my old boyfriend. I got married to someone else a few months ago, who I also very much love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 1 084

You just don't understand art

By Anonymous - 07/03/2020 23:16

Today, I walked in on my roommate with his pants down at his ankles, taking a picture of his poop. This would've been less disgusting if we'd been in the bathroom, not the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 670

You deserved it 103

Happy Birthday…

By Anonymous - 14/10/2021 11:00

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend’s birthday is a month before mine. I'd spent my birthday savings on his, but he told me that we couldn’t do anything for mine because, “I didn’t plan or organize better.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 118

Or does he?

By Anonymous - 09/02/2021 00:30

Today, I read a message from someone on Instagram asking if I wanted to "hook up with a nice guy sometime." It was my uncle – he doesn't recognize his own family before messaging them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 48

By Anonymous - 24/01/2015 18:33 - Romania - Campina

Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 230

You deserved it 2 896

By ELLI - 02/10/2017 04:30

Today, all of my friends showed up an hour late for my 18th birthday party because they decided to go get dinner without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 285

You deserved it 260

Jealousy

By jake - 10/01/2021 18:02 - United States - Denver

Today, my girlfriend demanded that I delete all my female contacts or she’d set my stuff on fire. Yes, that includes my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 223

By cat co-parent - 03/01/2015 00:11 - Australia

Today, my mum sat me down for a serious talk about not being home enough - not because she misses me, but because the family cat needs more stability in her life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 546

You deserved it 2 734

By dtack2tack - 09/07/2015 13:42 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me with his boss so he could get a promotion and "provide" for us. This from the guy who made me quit my job because he said he made enough money to support us both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 650

You deserved it 3 799

By dre_bro11 - 06/11/2011 12:17 - Australia

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 012

You deserved it 12 449

By WellThere'sThat - 26/11/2017 15:00

Today, I got a big math test back. Good news: I can connect abstract ideas beyond what was taught. Bad news: I can’t do simple math, such as 30/-5. I failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 964

You deserved it 806

Compassion

By Anemity_is_my_name - 07/01/2021 14:01 - United States

Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 372

You deserved it 74

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 20:55 - United States

Today, I tried to email my Dad a picture of someone we knew that I'd found on the Internet. He called me later to inform me that I had actually sent him a picture of myself in a naughty school girl outfit that I'd taken for my husband. My mom was laughing her ass off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 606

You deserved it 43 746

By Anonymous - 14/11/2012 17:50 - United States

Today, someone stole my iPhone. I used the Find My iPhone app, and located it in the apartment building next to mine. I can hear the ringing sound I've activated, but nobody will answer the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 841

You deserved it 2 006

Great, some ice cream!

By Anna - 11/10/2019 06:00

Today, after three years of working at my current occupation, they decided to give me a bonus for all of my hard work and effort. A 5$ gift card to Cold Stone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 589

You deserved it 185

By oink oink fuck off - 29/07/2012 18:49 - United Kingdom - Doncaster

Today, my son got to my great grandfather's old stopwatch, which had been valued at a very high sum, and broke it by twisting the hands in reverse. He says he was trying to time travel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 872

You deserved it 3 697

By Matthew - 16/06/2017 22:00 - United States - Largo

Today, after working at my summer job for 3 weeks, I was informed that I was too young to work there. I had contacted them 3 months prior and had given them my birthdate multiple times. I had also attended a special training in their corporate HQ, which I drove 7 hours both ways to get to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 077

You deserved it 304

By flurina - 18/12/2009 20:44 - Canada

Today, a woman pushed me at the bar and told me how much she's always hated me. She was my grade five teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 355

You deserved it 3 644

Prison Break

By Anonymous - 25/09/2020 16:01 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I went to my daughter's best friends birthday party, only to find my ex there, who is now sleeping with the mother, who has a fiancé in prison, who isn't going to be happy when he gets out. Most awkward kids birthday party ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 167

By kyle - 05/06/2011 07:00 - United States

Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 821

You deserved it 3 691

By lifesuck - 19/09/2010 14:11 - United States

Today, while at a local river, I had been pulled underwater by a very fast and strong current. While fighting for my life, I had let go of my sandals so I could pull myself up. After explaining to my mom what had happened to me, her response was "YOU LOST YOUR SANDALS!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 481

You deserved it 3 751

By Anonymous - 24/11/2018 09:30 - United States - Henderson

Today, I decided to take a relaxing shower. My face mask made my face break out in hives. While exfoliating, my nipples became chafed. Then I slipped and cut myself while shaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 629

You deserved it 329

By schwange - 15/05/2010 17:07 - United States

Today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend. Over a text message with "lol" in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 928

You deserved it 3 874

By idonthavelice - 28/02/2010 13:44 - China

Today, while I was standing in the elevator with a few people I just met when I moved in yesterday, I felt something fall on my hair and dusted it off. It was a cockroach. None of them will come within a 1m distance to me now, because they all think I've got lice. Welcome to the building! FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 032

You deserved it 2 403

By Anonymous - 13/03/2013 23:22 - United States

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 301

You deserved it 4 292

By Anonymous - 18/02/2014 19:49 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Kingshill

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 172

You deserved it 19 227

Cheapskate

By Anonymous - 08/12/2021 05:01

Today, I asked my sister why she doesn’t visit our dad in hospital anymore. He’s been in a coma for months, but what she said was just nasty. Apparently, if she wanted to talk to a vegetable, she’d yell into the fridge once a week, at least it would save her the long bus ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 371

You deserved it 167

By ThanksMom - 08/07/2016 07:54 - United States - State College

Today, while taking out the trash late at night with my mom, a group of people drove by and decided it would be funny to turn around and chase us up the driveway in their car. Before I even realized what was happening, my mom was already halfway to the house yelling back, "You're on your own!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 486

You deserved it 1 299

Private Freakout

By Roida - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my parents had a fight, which is a pretty normal occurrence at our house. But today, they fought over an orange. Dad is now sitting in his bedroom with the aforementioned orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 307

You deserved it 2 708

By Cheap - 27/12/2009 08:34 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend wrote 50 dollars on my gift card just to look generous, it's really only worth five. I found this out after I tried to buy an arm full of clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 071

You deserved it 3 120

By Anonymous - 29/12/2012 08:25 - United States - Sun Prairie

Today, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver my best friend's baby. I later found out that my ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 667

You deserved it 3 101

By bribreeeeeezyfreshhh - 06/12/2010 17:03 - United Kingdom

Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 910

You deserved it 27 122

By fartmaster - 22/04/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 233

You deserved it 61 587

Rom-com

By Anonymous - 15/10/2020 11:02

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my best friend who I'm crushing hard on that I like her. She gave me a look of revulsion and asked if I was joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 127

By LemonTree - 20/11/2014 11:32 - Hungary

Today, I realized that I ran out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 045

You deserved it 6 911

Bed of nails

By JoanT - 31/08/2020 20:01 - United States - Kailua Kona

Today, my boyfriend’s bed is so uncomfortable that even after six months of not seeing him, I’m sleeping on the floor so I can actually get some sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 170

You deserved it 171

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Top comments

goaliestud30 23

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Friday 5 December 2014 15:42

Well you did see it

BigLatchZatch 14

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Friday 5 December 2014 15:43

Little sisters have this wonderful way of looking out for everyone else, even at the cost of the things around them.

goaliestud30 23

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Friday 5 December 2014 15:42

Well you did see it

StantheMan93 12

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Friday 5 December 2014 17:50

I assumed OP's parents may have told her not to play with them or something like that.

kirigaiku 15

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Friday 5 December 2014 15:43

That's better than stepping on the thumb tack lol...

Stormcloak 20

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Friday 5 December 2014 23:14

Why not just pick it up?

kost4060 14

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Saturday 6 December 2014 15:42

#46 that what I'm thinking but maybe it's stuck or something

foxyhasmybooty 16

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Saturday 6 December 2014 22:40

But just because her sister didn't step on it and drew a red circle around it doesn't mean op didn't step on it because well that's the point Of this fml

TheOnlyMizLiv 22

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Monday 8 December 2014 3:16

#62 - No, I don't think it is.

BigLatchZatch 14

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Friday 5 December 2014 15:43

Little sisters have this wonderful way of looking out for everyone else, even at the cost of the things around them.

randomname98 22

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Friday 5 December 2014 16:45

Little sisters looking out for people? Mine would have put the tack there, and if nobody stepped on it, pretend to do so herself and then blame me for the tack being there. Idiotic events like this are a daily occurrence for me.

DoomSkuller 28

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Friday 5 December 2014 17:28

#24 Megan?

PresidentNorth 16

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Friday 5 December 2014 17:57

More like. Megan.....

isabellasimone 18

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Friday 5 December 2014 15:43

Hey, that's adorable....but I hope no one stepped on it!

quickit 24

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Friday 5 December 2014 15:43

I don't see the point when she could have just picked it up.

That_Ginger 18

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Friday 5 December 2014 15:50

Depending on her age, she could have been scared to. I could see a 5 year old doing this for that reason.

quickit 24

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Friday 5 December 2014 16:20

That's some sharp thinking. Her tacktics were just so unusual.

razoray9 22

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Friday 5 December 2014 16:34

What's ur point #20

amadeclton 26

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Friday 5 December 2014 15:43

She's just protecting everyone's feet.

PresidentNorth 16

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Friday 5 December 2014 17:58

Who's protecting the carpet from her?

Classy_Sassy_15 15

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Friday 5 December 2014 19:42

Yes, she's very thoughtful ☺. All though someone could have picked it up.

UnidentifiedFun 37

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Friday 5 December 2014 15:45

Better than having blood stain the carpet if you didn't see it..

elcee1987 18

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Saturday 6 December 2014 2:02

Except blood might be easier to clean than a sharpie.

savageo_o 4

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Saturday 6 December 2014 19:41

Well no sharpie is pretty easy to clean

Azang7 14

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Friday 5 December 2014 15:45

Well at least she was thoughtful.

DARKDAY07 16

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Friday 5 December 2014 15:48

Could've been worse my cousins(basically my sister/brother) would've buried the tack down in the carpet just to watch people step on it.

PresidentNorth 16

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Saturday 6 December 2014 0:23

There's a special place in hell for those types of people. Man I'm paranoid to walk around now.

EJSwank 14

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Friday 5 December 2014 15:53

Good intentions! But goodluck getting that out of the carpet ?

igive 29

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Friday 5 December 2014 21:35

Acetone should help. It shouldn't hurt the carpet, but should be tested first.

Brandi_Faith 33

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Saturday 6 December 2014 7:59

Op could also give the carpet a haircut and cut the red pieces down if nothing else works. I've removed black nail polish that way, but it was only a small spot and didn't go very deep.