By FML Approved Tree Fall Fail If a tree falls in a parking lot and nobody flinches, did it really fall at all? 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - New Zealand - Hamilton Today, I heard my dad complaining that he won't be able to go to a concert, because it's happening on my birthday. This is the first time he's even acknowledged my birthday in over ten years. FML I agree, your life sucks 44675 You deserved it 3293 56 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By crazyattracts - United States - Simi Valley Today, my new girlfriend canceled my badly needed haircut appointment. She feels that having my female hairstylist wash and cut my hair involves "too much touching" and "counts as cheating." FML I agree, your life sucks 18654 You deserved it 1973 172 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Emily27 - United Kingdom Today, like every other day, my boss referred to my breasts as pillows he needs to nap on. FML I agree, your life sucks 39177 You deserved it 4926 335 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boyfriend didn't come home from a night of drinking with the boys again, so I told him that I was packing my things and I wouldn't be here when he came home. After all my things were packed, I realized he drove my car to the bar. FML I agree, your life sucks 42684 You deserved it 8900 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my dog managed to get into our cabinet and eat an entire bag of hershey kisses. Now she is puking all over the house and outside too. When I called the vet to tell her about it, she said that it was normal, and to call her back when it was "coming out the other end." FML I agree, your life sucks 23364 You deserved it 3841 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I was at a music festival, watching one of my favorite bands. The security guys were throwing water into the crowd to cool us down. I saw some about to be thrown by another fan, so I stood with my mouth open to catch some of it. I ended up with a face full of hot piss. FML I agree, your life sucks 33783 You deserved it 20178 163 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wrongguy - United States - Raleigh Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML I agree, your life sucks 58861 You deserved it 9678 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By malicious_melons - United States - Santa Paula Today, my mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the clothes I was wearing. Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was "stealing her look." FML I agree, your life sucks 44103 You deserved it 3509 56 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jostertoaster12 - United States - Steamboat Springs Today, while skiing down a steep mountain, a man ran over my skis, causing me to fall and roll down the slope. When I regained my balance, I saw the man had followed me just to say "How graceful" and continue on. FML I agree, your life sucks 30133 You deserved it 2391 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ryan and Zack - United States Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year old boyfriend having sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 32111 You deserved it 7878 198 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML I agree, your life sucks 36082 You deserved it 6582 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Middlewich Today, I was talking to my friend, who was telling me he's having suicidal thoughts lately. He then said he'd be back in a few minutes. Nearly an hour passed. I panicked, thinking he'd offed himself. Several minutes after I called the emergency services, he messaged me, saying "K, back." FML I agree, your life sucks 28334 You deserved it 3202 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CatLitterLover - United States Today, I dropped my Xanax. It wasn't until after I washed it down with some water that I realized it was still on the floor and I had actually swallowed a pebble of cat litter. FML I agree, your life sucks 33145 You deserved it 15583 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 7/8/2020 23:01 XXL Today, after losing 20 pounds, I decided to purchase new clothes. All of the clothes at the store were still too small for me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1227 You deserved it 224 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By -___- - Canada - Montr?al Today, while out jogging with my mom, we saw my boyfriend walking in our direction. When we reached him, he took one look at my makeup-less face, then made a huge show of screaming in disgust before calmly walking away. FML I agree, your life sucks 50521 You deserved it 5607 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Becca - United States - Tampa Today, while walking to work, I swore I saw one of my old friends from college standing in the park across the street. I started shouting her name and waving my hands like a maniac to get her attention. It was a statue. FML I agree, your life sucks 11591 You deserved it 27040 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - United States Today, I got an anonymous letter, stating my condo's community and all my neighbors can hear me having sex. Not only that, but kids gather around my window to listen. FML I agree, your life sucks 18613 You deserved it 37373 180 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By indianaxx - France Today, my dad came out of a hotel bathroom with nothing but a wash-cloth over his crotch and said "look! this place has cotton loin clothes" in front of my wedding party. FML I agree, your life sucks 31828 You deserved it 2435 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - New Zealand Today, my boyfriend of nearly two years broke up with me because he's sick of me being annoyed at him. Why am I annoyed at him? Because he wants to go and spend a week with his ex. FML I agree, your life sucks 41436 You deserved it 5284 210 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DamnMyOvaries - United States - Groves Today, I fainted in the lunch line at school due to extreme period cramps, and ended up having to get seven stitches on my face. This is the third time I've fainted because of my period this year. FML I agree, your life sucks 6415 You deserved it 506 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cat Today, I thought I was seeing double. My neighbours got a new dog, which is exactly the same as the other one, except that it hates me twice as much. FML I agree, your life sucks 1444 You deserved it 108 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 26/10/2020 19:58 The art of seduction Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML I agree, your life sucks 1272 You deserved it 192 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By EvilMother - United States - Hinsdale Today, after having a long talk with my mother about gays, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grand kids." FML I agree, your life sucks 31931 You deserved it 5210 169 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sleep Deprived - United States Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML I agree, your life sucks 29097 You deserved it 3777 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Isle of Man - Douglas Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML I agree, your life sucks 56232 You deserved it 3861 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By adam - Czech Republic Today, my dad is having his midlife crisis and bought a mercedes along with a girlfriend less than half his age. I was trying to be supportive until I found out he is funding his midlife crisis with my university loan. FML I agree, your life sucks 26145 You deserved it 1541 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ohemmgeee - Australia Today, I found out that my boyfriend purposely makes me cry because it makes him feel special. FML I agree, your life sucks 38995 You deserved it 5223 135 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GrossLump Today, I was swimming at the beach. At the end of the day, I felt a huge hard lump in between my toes. When I looked closer and pushed on it, it sounded and felt exactly like a bean bag. I had a blister from the day before and it had filled with sand. I had to cut it open to pour the sand out. FML I agree, your life sucks 2145 You deserved it 191 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Trooper - United Kingdom - Caterham Today, I saw the postman approach my house through the window, and my immediate reaction was to drop to the floor in fear. FML I agree, your life sucks 10802 You deserved it 2282 56 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, it was my birthday. The only person who remembered was my dad who got me a phone charger for my car, which I didn't even need because he got me the same exact thing last year. FML I agree, your life sucks 46620 You deserved it 4040 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By horribleevening - Australia - Hornsby Today, my wife was sitting next to me surrounded by friends and she decided to start looking up the man that she had an affair on Facebook on her phone - all while I am sitting right next to her. FML I agree, your life sucks 2459 You deserved it 253 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By urgg - United States Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML I agree, your life sucks 34749 You deserved it 4973 162 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mo - United States Today, my mother told me I looked like a hooker in my wedding dress. Thanks mommy. FML I agree, your life sucks 38725 You deserved it 7123 162 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By doodoobref - United States - Lake Havasu City Today, my parents sent me to the hospital because they thought I had diabetes. One of the symptoms is that you a pee a lot. The only reason I go to the bathroom so often is so I can masturbate. FML I agree, your life sucks 19860 You deserved it 29924 131 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FML - United States - Houston Today, I got robbed. I just moved so I didn't have much in my new house. They did decide that my cat was valuable enough to steal. FML I agree, your life sucks 48659 You deserved it 3149 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unlucky - United States Today, I went with my sister to her company Christmas party. They had a gift raffle, my number was called and I won $25 for a local restaurant. A few moments later, the manager came over and said, "You don't work here? You can't have that" and took it from me. FML I agree, your life sucks 30414 You deserved it 7110 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By facepalm - United Kingdom - Bristol Today, I received my first negative feedback on my otherwise flawless eBay record. The woman who bought the item said it wasn't as delicious as she was expecting, so there must be something wrong with it. What was I selling? A new and unopened lipstick. FML I agree, your life sucks 30409 You deserved it 2330 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Courtney - United States Today, only after I almost knocked myself out cold with the shampoo bottle, did I finally get some out. FML I agree, your life sucks 22262 You deserved it 6029 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By honey soy - Australia Today, my boyfriend was flying his toy helicopter at my head. It got stuck in my hair and I now have a bald patch. FML I agree, your life sucks 29858 You deserved it 3494 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Christopher Tobler - United States - New York Today, I found out that my mom paints, and that I was artistically represented in a painting, as Satan, in a painting made shortly after I told her that I was an atheist. FML I agree, your life sucks 1974 You deserved it 429 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I caught up with a good friend and he let me rant about my sexless marriage. He was really understanding and supportive. I got home and he sent... I agree, your life sucks 631 You deserved it 136 4 Comments
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 847 You deserved it 179 8 Comments