Today, my son told me he's had 5 boyfriends and is currently working to improve himself before getting into another relationship. When I was his age, I was still single. My son has more game than I do. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my son is still single in his forties, so I asked him about it. Turns out, because he has his buddies and doesn’t want kids, he hires a house cleaning service twice a month and prostitutes twice a week, so he can’t think of any scenario in which a wife could improve his life. FML
Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML
Today, my son broke up with his fourth girlfriend in a row, because, “all of them get those period things and it’s annoying as fuck.” He’s 20. FML
Today, a woman came up to me and sheepishly asked if my son is single. He's not my son, he's my boyfriend. FML
Today, after my son got his first girlfriend at 19, a nice girl as well, he broke up with her after 3 days because women are "too much effort", too "expensive", and keep trying to make him "do things." Unbelievable. Three days with a woman turned him into a cynical 65 year-old who's been married for 40 years. FML
Today, as I was filling out divorce paperwork, I realized that my son has had the same girlfriend through both of my marriages. He's 17. FML
Today, I was babysitting a five year-old boy. Somehow the topic of relationships came up, and he asked me if I had a boyfriend. When I told him that I was single, he got all excited and asked if he could be my boyfriend. It would have been cute… except he was the first guy to ever ask me out. I'm 18. FML
Today, I was talking with my mother and expressed my slight disappointment at how many of my friends are getting into relationships, whereas I'm still single. My mother decided to encourage me by saying "Don't worry, sweetie. There are boys out there who don't go for looks. You'll be fine". FML
Today, a sixth grader complained to me about her emotionally cheating ex and her current boyfriend. I haven't had a single partner yet. A 12 year-old has a VERY EXISTENT and better love life than I do. When I said this to her she said "Well, at least your parents love you." They didn't. I need therapy. And a life. FML
Today, as yet more proof my useless son is probably going to be living with me well into his adulthood, he has now failed his driving theory test 14 times, despite me studying with him every afternoon. He also has no job, no goals, no girlfriend, and a neck tattoo. FML
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Top comments
mike3775 36
Were the 5 boyfriends serious relationships like “hey mom, this is my boyfriend” or more social media “relationships” and you never met them, just shown pics of them on social media? One of my sons has had more relationships than I have had in my entire life, but take out the “social media” relationships (which used to be called long distance relationships), I have him outnumbered still. Also it seems “relationships” have a different meaning to today’s kids than when I was their ages.
Marcella1016 31
Beating herself around the bush probably helped a lot during her single days.
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Comments (5)
cuz803 44
Studies show gay relationships tend to be easier and less strained than heterosexual relationships, so don't beat yourself around the bush.
Plop 17
Were any of those "studies" you're citing published on p*rnhub by any chance?
cuz803 44
...
Dirtysalamander1 13
gay, huh?
Marcella1016 31
Beating herself around the bush probably helped a lot during her single days.
bleachedraven 14
🤣
mike3775 36
Were the 5 boyfriends serious relationships like “hey mom, this is my boyfriend” or more social media “relationships” and you never met them, just shown pics of them on social media? One of my sons has had more relationships than I have had in my entire life, but take out the “social media” relationships (which used to be called long distance relationships), I have him outnumbered still. Also it seems “relationships” have a different meaning to today’s kids than when I was their ages.
Jonkbaby 22
I feel like he's looking for some kind of approval here
DrSamba1 8
I think your first mistake is comparing your love life to your child's. Some people are just late bloomers. There's also something to be said for quality vs. quantity. Whether it's a gay or straight relationship is completely irrelevant.
aribanks 12
Weelll, he's dealing with men not women. Easier catch I think, Lol