Intimacy, Embarrassing, Awkward and Dreams: Nocturnal emissions

Nocturnal emissions

By James - 16/11/2022 06:00 - United States - Warner Robins

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my man juice all over me. I'm 40 years-old, and haven’t had a wet dream since my early high school days. The worst part is that the only dream I remember involved going to the DMV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 233

Intimacy Embarrassing Awkward Dreams

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Same thing different taste

Inactive

By inbogota - 06/03/2021 15:30 - Colombia

Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 155

By Anonymous - 30/12/2009 04:58 - United States

Today, I woke up and realized I'd experienced my first "nocturnal emission". I'm a 24 year-old guy who has been married for 3 months. Guess who isn't getting any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 405

You deserved it 3 100

Unfulfilled

By Anonymous - 28/03/2021 00:00 - Romania - Campina

Today, my alarm rang just as I was about to have a wet dream with my husband. This is the closest I got to having sex in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 040

You deserved it 149

You'll get some eventually

By Anonymous - 08/05/2021 10:59 - China

Today, my mom woke me up from a wet dream, because I was moaning too loudly. I'm a 32 year-old virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 387

I'm so hot and lonely

By lonely dreams - 01/01/2013 17:26 - United States - Reno

Today, I have been single and out of the game for so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I now dream about jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 391

You deserved it 6 793

No kinkshaming on FML

By Anonymous - 31/07/2013 16:28 - Belgium - Ieper

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 682

You deserved it 9 325

By Anonymous - 04/10/2010 02:04 - United States

Today, I woke up finding out I had a wet dream last night. About someone other than my girlfriend. I don't remember anything about the dream, but my girlfriend remembers everything, aparently I talked through out my dream, she was right next to me listening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 792

You deserved it 5 912

Two Scoops

By ice ice baby - 08/09/2019 07:00 - United States - Monterey Park

Today, it'd been so long since I last had sex, I was jolted out of my sleep by a body shaking orgasm. I was sweaty and breathless, and it took me a moment to realize it had been a dream. It would've been great except the subject of my nocturnal ecstasy was Vanilla Ice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 748

You deserved it 301

By damnit - 16/10/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 683

You deserved it 4 257

By MoneyMike - 12/03/2009 00:30 - United States

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 100

You deserved it 11 891

poopface82 16

Wednesday 16 November 2022 17:06

Don’t kink shame your subconscious.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 16 November 2022 15:13

Did you dream you walked right in, got your license renewed in 30 seconds and got out? That's hot! I oughta do phone sex.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 16 November 2022 15:13

Did you dream you walked right in, got your license renewed in 30 seconds and got out? That's hot! I oughta do phone sex.

poopface82 16

Wednesday 16 November 2022 17:06

Don’t kink shame your subconscious.

Wadlaen 23

Thursday 17 November 2022 0:13

There's all kinds of kinks...

Karley Van 13

Thursday 17 November 2022 4:01

you can tell you are middle aged when

Keywords

DIY Kids Health Ableism Work Money Revenge Intimacy Awkward Relatable Therapist Weird Love Harassment Coffee Skincare Embarrassing Argument Parents Anger issues Mental health Miscellaneous Family Sex Confused Cheating My ex Facebook Social Media Babies

The Top

Today, the guy I had a two-week long fling with and got pregnant by (while on birth control I might add), and who disappeared more than a decade ago after I told him, showed up at my door, demanding shared custody of my daughter. While he is her biological parent, she’s never met him and was terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 778

You deserved it 188

Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 985

You deserved it 3 323

The Top

Today, I was fired from my job. I was a lifeguard and the other day a 30 year-old man who only spoke Spanish hit on me. I'm 16 and I'd politely rejected him. He then went to the front desk and told them how I tried molesting him in the locker room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 510

You deserved it 2 646

Today, I went on a date for the first time since my divorce was finalized a year ago. The first question the guy asked me was what my favorite sex position is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 650

You deserved it 6 491

Today, as I went into my calculus class, the teacher announced that someone had received a negative grade on the test we were getting back. I laughed and said, "Which f*cker managed to get a negative?" Turns out I'm the dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 146

You deserved it 60 634

Today, my son told me he lost the envelope with all the money he earned selling Cub Scout popcorn. The popcorn was delivered already, and the money needs to be turned in to the pack leader tonight. I just spent $220 on popcorn my neighbors are eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 576

You deserved it 5 630

Today, while sitting on a bench drawing, some guy went up to me, yelled, “YOUR ART SUCKS” and flipped my sketchpad out of my hands. I’d been working on that piece for hours and now there’s a big black pencil streak on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 410

You deserved it 80

Today, I picked up my car from the repair shop, drove two miles, and ran out of gas. I then walked to get gas, put a gallon of gas in the car, and tried to start it. The battery was too weak to start the car, and died on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 855

You deserved it 2 660