Work: Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like...

By Jamie - 20/09/2013 00:47 - United States - Newport News

Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like a pirate" day. If you dressed like a pirate you'd get a free dozen donuts. A man came in with just an eyepatch on. Thinking he was trying to get a free dozen, I told him he needed to try harder. Turned out the eyepatch was real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 282

You deserved it 13 928

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By eyepatch - 19/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Albany

Today, while I was giving a school presentation about life as an injured, deformed soldier, someone asked if the reason I wear an eyepatch is because I'm a pirate. I wouldn't have minded, had I not been presenting to high-school students. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 869

You deserved it 420

Halloween is cancelled

By iliveformystery - 31/10/2014 15:56 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 202

You deserved it 6 568

By Anonymous - 05/04/2012 01:41 - United States - Lindale

Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got Superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "New pirate" in the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 804

You deserved it 20 724

By story of my life. - 21/02/2009 14:33 - Switzerland

Today, at a party I told this guy that I really liked his pirate costume. Turns out he wasn't wearing a costume, his eye was shot out with a BB gun. This explains the eye patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 174

You deserved it 34 417

Donut laugh at me

By sdeeter - 29/04/2013 13:39 - United States

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 911

You deserved it 9 146

By Anonymous - 05/03/2011 06:07 - Canada

Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense, saying, "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 611

You deserved it 11 380

By Anonymous - 24/07/2014 21:23 - United States - Annandale

Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 487

You deserved it 17 973

Ahoy there!

By sanza666 - 26/04/2019 00:00

Today, I shattered a coffee pot at work and ended up with a piece of glass in my eye. Now I have to look like a pirate until its healed, and it's nowhere near Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 880

You deserved it 219

By hallofail - 01/11/2012 00:40 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 668

You deserved it 3 000

By SaraSkyWolf - 17/10/2018 22:00

Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 821

You deserved it 1 292

dawood_k 27

Friday 20 September 2013 8:52

Shame on you, you should always lift the eyepatch and make sure before doubting someone

CharresBarkrey 15

Friday 20 September 2013 9:40

To get free donuts... We've been over this

Comments

jasdanu 12

Friday 20 September 2013 8:51

Well at least you know it's legit

SweetasCandy0609 28

Friday 20 September 2013 9:22

Really what was your first hint?

Gingerette 8

Saturday 21 September 2013 1:59

DISCRIMINATION!!!

Zambowi 15

Friday 20 September 2013 8:52

OR maybe it wasn't real... And he was trying to make you feel bad after your comment

SweetasCandy0609 28

Friday 20 September 2013 9:24

Why would someone lie about having to where an eye patch?

CharresBarkrey 15

Friday 20 September 2013 9:40

To get free donuts... We've been over this

JocelynKaulitz 28

Friday 20 September 2013 10:57

Or maybe it was real…cause they have a purpose too.

Zimmington 21

Saturday 21 September 2013 3:35

I'm just happy to hear Krispy Kreme still exists because they've all closed around here

dawood_k 27

Friday 20 September 2013 8:52

Shame on you, you should always lift the eyepatch and make sure before doubting someone

tiernang 21

Friday 20 September 2013 10:04

and just to be sure its not make up, poke it a couple times.

MrSassypants 33

Friday 20 September 2013 12:04

Also, you have to call "black jack no sue back" before him or he can sue you. Sorry, OP, but it's the law, and a second grader taught it to me so you know it's the truth.