The Top

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Killjoy was hear

By barsituation - 03/01/2022 17:01 - United States

Today, I got kicked out of my favorite pub. I yelled at the group behind me for being annoying. They were extremely irritating, singing songs and cheering, but the manager decided to kick me out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 1 506

Cars suck

By Lexa Keery - 03/04/2023 04:00

Today, my second car overheated after having it for like 6 months. Right after getting a new job. It’s currently stuck on the side of the highway, and I have no money to get it towed or fixed. Every time I think things are gonna be okay, they aren’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 114

Sounds like an FML commenter

By Megan M - 26/08/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me. I was extremely devastated, and was crying in my room. My mom told me that it’s not a reason to cry. Apparently, “There’s people out there without anything to eat, nowhere to live, and people dying of cancer - that’s a REAL reason to cry.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 158

My client…

By Anonymous - 24/03/2026 03:00

Today, in court, I got a kid out of a prison sentence because I genuinely believed he was innocent. He and his mom were so happy, he even hugged me afterwards. It took me a minute to realise he'd pick-pocketed my keys and stole my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 192

Revealing

By doody - 30/12/2009 22:42 - United States

Today, I was in a busy airport bathroom with my three year-old son. While in the process of pulling my pants down, my son decided to open the stall door. I jumped up to yank the door closed, but not before the line of waiting women saw me with my pants wrapped around my ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 276

You deserved it 4 288

Brain bleach

By Anonymous - 02/04/2023 00:00

Today, it's been three weeks since our 12 year-old son walked in on us having sex. Ever since then he’s treating his mom like she was the victim of some horrible crime and treats me like I should be in prison. He refuses to stop, even though we’ve both spoken to him about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 401

You deserved it 330

Disappointed

By Anonymous - 26/03/2026 15:00

Today, as yet more proof my useless son is probably going to be living with me well into his adulthood, he has now failed his driving theory test 14 times, despite me studying with him every afternoon. He also has no job, no goals, no girlfriend, and a neck tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 182

By Anonymous - 25/01/2017 04:00

Today, my roommates gathered together to tell me that they all took turns spitting in my drinks in the fridge, all because I told on them for smoking pot in the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 293

You deserved it 3 392

By mfnfhdjdjddjsjfn - 03/09/2012 08:39 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was in a terrific mood after finding a bouquet of beautiful flowers on my doorstep when I came home. That is, until I recognised the handwriting of my "secret admirer" was the same as my mother's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 149

You deserved it 2 230

Nope

By Anonymous - 07/04/2023 16:00

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of two years. I got a call from my best friend telling me he had slept with her before we went out drinking the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 348

You deserved it 165

Never enough

By Anonymous - 02/04/2026 03:00

Today, for our anniversary, I asked what my wife wanted and she said not to bother spending money, so I didn’t, and she called me a tight git. Then for her birthday I bought her a gift anyway and she had a go at me for ignoring her wishes and wasting money. I literally cannot win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 82

By Anonymous - 10/12/2010 23:59 - United States

Today, while browsing YouTube, I looked at the section "Recommended for You." I saw a video titled "How to get a girlfriend." Even YouTube thinks I can't get one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 110

You deserved it 5 497

By mikeyamazing - 28/12/2009 05:00 - France

Today, feeling festive, I sent everyone on my phone's contact list a holiday message. Almost everyone replied back "who's this?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 509

You deserved it 4 811

Pompous twat

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 02:01 - Pakistan - Islamabad

Today, this guy who I thought was my friend said that my "existence is of minimal consequence," and that I'm "an individual I clearly don't acknowledge." All this after he'd said, "I'm not trying to hurt you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 96

Shadowboxing

By Fuck space exploration give me human rights - 02/04/2026 09:00

Today, my whole family was so excited about watching the Artemis II launch and scolded me for not mustering more enthusiasm. Great, we can go to space now… so anytime someone talks about real issues like climate change or racism, we'll hear, "Well just go to space then" or "Space will solve our problems." FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 496

By Anonymous - 05/10/2011 05:28 - United States

Today, a woman somehow managed to drop her wedding ring into the garbage at the fast food place where I work. I had to search through a full bag of half eaten food and soda to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 359

You deserved it 2 739

Agony Aunt

By Anonymous - 15/04/2023 02:00 - Canada - Dartmouth

Today, just because I have mental health issues doesn’t mean I’m the god of mental health issues. I don’t know everything. But everyone thinks I do. I want to help but it takes a piece out of me every time someone sends me someone hurting. Yes I help them, but it hurts me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 233

Old timey

By Anonymous - 06/09/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, while on a blind date, I told her in no uncertain terms that if I got married, my wife would need to be a housewife. She burst out laughing and asked, "Dude, do you even HAVE a house?" and walked out laughing when I said I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 1 750

Bad day

By Anonymous - 08/04/2026 22:00 - Canada

Today, I’m a nurse on a 12-hour shift and finally got a 5-minute break to inhale a yogurt. I absentmindedly grabbed what I thought was my spoon from my pocket. It was actually a thermometer cover. A patient watched me freeze mid-bite, slowly process my mistake, and then whispered, “Rough day?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 81

Rock n Roll is a dirty business

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 23:01

Today, I was in a band with some friends and we got our first gig at a local festival, but I'd already agreed to work serving drinks at the festival. My bandmates got really annoyed and kicked me out of the band. They then went ahead and performed the song that I WROTE, without me, at the festival where I was working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 905

By tkghan - 02/08/2013 14:53 - United States - Concord

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for no real reason via text message. A few hours later, she updated her relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship." Her new "boyfriend"? Her cat. A mutual friend commented, "Well, he's better than that idiot you had before." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 484

You deserved it 6 180

Busblocked

By bummerdood - 26/08/2012 04:15 - United States - Wichita

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the drive-in theater, planning to have some fun during the movie. We were pretty excited that no cars were parked near us. As soon as the movie started, a bus full of little kids pulled up next to us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 812

You deserved it 8 026

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 24/02/2022 02:01

Today, I found out that a girl I had been seeing for two months used her having a brain tumor as an excuse to break up with me. She said she wouldn’t feel good for three months because of treatment, but then a month into "treatment", she posted a picture on a date with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 147

Time for a change

By leogs23 - 15/11/2020 10:58

Today, I was in bed with my girlfriend and she asked to see my phone to check my Snapchat to see what was in there. After she was done with it, she start looking into her phone to see her memories and started crying over her ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 195

You deserved it 160

Cool family vibes

By Anonymous - 15/09/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and son had their first DIY project. Less than 30 minutes later, our son’s crying in his room. Turns out my husband is just like his dad. “WHY ARE YOU STANDING DOING NOTHING? PASS ME THE THING. NOT THAT THING, THE OTHER THING. HERE, I’LL DO IT MYSELF. PAY ATTENTION, GOD DAMMIT.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 125

By lft - 06/06/2009 20:16 - United States

Today, I called over my math teacher to ask a question. I have a really bad cold. I asked him about a problem and he reached over my desk to point at the diagram and explain it. Then I suddenly had to sneeze and I got tons of snot all over his hand and arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 947

You deserved it 10 181

Keep your distance

By Oddy - 17/11/2020 05:02 - Italy

Today, I travelled by myself for the first time. I was seated next to a middle-aged man who was trying to convince me that I was his soulmate, kept touching my face and sniffing me. I'm 19 and it was a 6 hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 292

You deserved it 97

No tip for you

By Anonymous - 17/09/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my Italian boyfriend claims his dad owned a restaurant and taught him everything he knows. His dad must have worked at a McDonald’s then because my boyfriend is the only Italian I’ve met who overcooks pasta into mush, can’t season tomato sauce properly, and thinks Domino’s makes good pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 138

Accidental racist

By lordoftheweird - 19/09/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, I was accused of racism for mentioning that an employee can't read. That would've been racist… if she could actually read. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 95

Faux pas

By Awkward - 20/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, visiting my partner’s family for the first time, I offered to help cook, saying I could chop the vegetables. Five minutes later, I nicked my finger, dropped the knife, and instinctively said a very loud curse word in front of their very traditional grandparents. Everyone froze while someone went to get me a bandage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 166

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The Top

Today, we had a long meeting at work about how we are supposed to feel safe, and to come to the managers if we have any problems. I decided to speak up about a coworker that has been harassing me and several others. My manager laughed at me and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 868

You deserved it 2 031

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 181

You deserved it 3 866

Today, I came home after a short trip. Walking through the door, an overpowering smell indicated that in my rush to leave I'd forgotten to bring the cat litter tray indoors. The place was covered in cat urine. It was as if I'd created a cycling ecosystem of evaporated urine turning into urine rain-clouds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 003

You deserved it 29 232

Today, thanks to America's opiate epidemic, I can no receive the pain management I require for broken ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 111

Today, I had a very hot sex dream about my female coworker. It was so good I woke up practically rock hard, jerked off, and had an amazing orgasm. There’s just one problem: I’m a gay guy, in a committed relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 674

Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 84