By shootme - 13/11/2011 22:46 - Canada

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks 17 342
You deserved it 58 525

Same thing different taste

Top comments

ReesesPuffs 0

*waits for somebody to say that's a shitty situation*

flockz 19

sorry but they probably don't have an app for cleaning shit stains off your phone.


Oh I'm sorry, did it ruin your phone?

CabooseWins 0

I wasn't trying to be funny

...I don't see how you can confuse toilet paper with a phone. Even if you aren't being fully attentive. o.o

You all are too serious sometimes, geez I just asked a damn question

m0tl3ycru3 0

That phone must be scarred for life

robincakes94 8

Am I the only one that's wishing that ShyAnn would just stfu... Don't take it personal, or do... Idgaf

rallets 22

i "call bullshit" get it? eh? ehh?

I don't care, why don't you stfu 54, I can be here too

A couple of weeks from now, OP, someone will call you and you'll have forgotten all about it. Then you'll wonder what that mysterious smell is that only makes itself obvious when you put your phone to your ear.

I'm sorry, did I break your concentration??

unitedfan11 0

Please tell me how you managed to stick a phone up your ass without realizing it? Dumbass...

I don't think wiping with a phone- unless he then was a dumbass and didnt realise it was a phone and dropped it in the toilette like the paper. - would ruin the phone.

Likes how everyone assumes its a he.... A chick could have rasily pulled this off let alone a blonde one.

ashtonkay 7

Haha dang c'mon y'all let us all just be chill. Shyann should seriously calm down, they are only kidding.

DancinChikk 0

#108, Please don't tell me you stick toilet paper up your ass!

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

49- I see what u did there ;)

145- dont worry blonds have no souls... Or was that gingers? Op- man you have a crappy phone. Tehe

kurlyfries222 0

No it didn't ruin his phone...haven't you heard of the iWipe app?

Why y'all being so mean to dis person lik tbh I'm also curious if the cell got ruined n if y'all actually paid attention to the tone of comment you can easily distinguish the curiosity in it

197- Sorry, I didn't realize comments had the ability to talk.

56- sure you can be here. You just can't do it without sounding like a dumbass.

Thanks 197. 205, I'm not the dumb ass here. And to everyone else I'm not mad, I just think it's funny at how serious you all are about a comment!

bitchslapped22 14

This place is thumbs-down mania

Look ShyAnn29. The one taking this too seriously is you. We don't hate you because of your initial post. People here thumbs down things that they don't find funny or interesting, whether or not it's a legitimate comment. That's just a fact of life, don't worry about it. We hate you because you KEEP on posting unfunny, uninteresting, waste-of-space-and-time posts. We don't come here to read that shit, okay?

DWilliamson 7

Hey...HEY!! Wanna hear a joke? Ok ok, here it comes... Shit LOL!!!!!!!1!1!111!!!9/11!!!!!!! .....i don't get it...

clsgators 5
ImFrackinBored 13

ShyAnn I think it's time to stop talking... Just leave it ^-^

NagatoPain 4

Amazing how kids get mad over FML because people ask the simplest questions and they go and thumb them down because they think we are apparently dumb to ask! Im gonna get thumbed down too! Just watch!

145, your name and comment are both equally irritating.

iJeremyTyler 0

ignore those dumbasses ShyAnn, im totally on ur side

emogiggles 0

Thank you me too they wouldn't know what a real smart person was even if one came up and smacked em in the face

ReesesPuffs 0

*waits for somebody to say that's a shitty situation*

GraveRobber14 13

*waits for you to make a funnier comment*

everett0826 0
markrs 0

What a: SHITTY SITUATION!" :D Did you see what I did there? There. Two overly used comments in one...

first comment I think should have just been "lol."

Anyone know how to get rid of these ads? I can't seem to find the in app purchase section, and I don't want to play fucken "fashion story."

freerun4life97 0

155- What about on the app, and not the site?

Omgplz 3

I was going to say she had some shitty reception...

#109 why did you say that in a reply to the second comment

What a *puts on glasses* Shitty situation Bury me thumbs downs :)!

IronMaiden45 0

was it a metro piece of crappy shit phone?

192 Just because the situation is stupid and so many fmls have turned into "this is how I ruined my smartphone today"

RSX92 3

He was probably trying to make a booty call

That is a shitty situation :P -saying it for the person who wanted some one to say it -

ImFrackinBored 13

Prepare for a shitstorm of bad puns... ...wait

I guess OP has a pretty shitty phone now -.- satisfied?

flockz 19

sorry but they probably don't have an app for cleaning shit stains off your phone.

everett0826 0
DancinChikk 0
Blackmail111 9

Just cause you have a toilet paper app doesn't mean the shit won't stick to your phone

romanianboi 0

the bears can smell the menstruation

Darklord53 0

Wait... If it's a smartphone, does that mean he became a smartass?

everett0826 0

Well, at least your asscrack got cleaned up, just not in the way you expected.


betting he still used that phone to write this FML

grmnxsensati0n 4

i would just keep ******** on it cuz its already a piece of shitt ;)

whisperingeye13 0

This is why I don't risk wiping! More risk then reward!

probably not what your sister meant when she told you to shove your phone up your ass

Now THAT'S a sh... okay, you know what? Nevermind. I hate it when people say that.

When OP talks on his phone, he will forever know that it previously touched his poopy asscrack.

I was just asking a question, I would have written something that's actually funny if I wanted too!

This was supposed to go to a reply to my comment, sorry this is in the wrong spot!

175 - Please tell me you're trolling.

drewfus2 6

25-I can't think of an appropriate reply to that, so I'll just go with *facepalm*

Butt dialing is one thing @sshole dialing is another