The Top

Hey everyone.. Just to let you know, he's 36 and I'm 29. I moved in for about two weeks but found I couldn't handle it. We've broken up and to be honest, I'm kind of glad this all happened; it helped me work out that he was all wrong for me.

By anonymouss - 21/09/2009 04:02 - United States

Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "Anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said, "You're welcome!" and now they're going out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 089

You deserved it 45 360

Proselytism

By Anonymous - 08/12/2023 16:00 - Brazil - São Paulo

Today, after many days of glances, smiles, and small talk, I tried to kiss a man from my gym in the parking lot. He dodged and asked why. I said I thought it was what he wanted, given his apparent interest. He said that he's only like that because he does missionary work, and wanted to become a friend. I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 831

By asthmasucks - 19/09/2009 07:47 - United States

Today, due to the heat, I had a deadly asthma attack. Where was my inhaler? My dad pawned it for beer money. What did my dad do about my attack? Told me to quit being a Drama Queen. I had to go across the street and beg for a ride to the ER from my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 248

You deserved it 3 591

Time to run

By Anonymous - 13/03/2012 06:21 - Canada

Today, while I was looking for an apartment for my boyfriend and myself, he asked me how would I feel about his mom moving in together with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 419

You deserved it 2 623

Infrastructure

By Ahmed - 02/09/2022 18:00

Today, it's the sixth day since the VDSL cable connected to my house was cut off by a truck driver. It's now the third time this month, and last time it took around 17 days for the internet provider to send someone to fix it. I've already spend $50 on internet just to be able to work over the last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 92

Baby baby

By Anonymous - 12/12/2023 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife and I have been in the same massive argument for two weeks. We agreed when we were dating that we couldn’t think of anything worse than having kids, we married on the basis we would never want kids. Now, a year later, she wants a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 212

What is "normal" anyway?

By Plaything to the universe - 30/08/2022 09:00 - United States

Today, I was told by a doctor in no uncertain terms that, with all of my mental and physical health conditions and personality disorders, there is, "absolutely no way I can possibly live a normal life, unless a miracle occurs." Well, I guess I'll just go fuck myself, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 187

By ricard0 - 27/02/2014 20:58 - United States - Petaluma

Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 079

You deserved it 6 148

By kasai_x0x - 19/06/2010 16:27 - Canada

Today, I found out what cat food tastes like mixed with mayo, hot sauce, and between two perfectly toasted pieces of rye bread. My cat found out what tuna tastes like instead of her normal food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 486

You deserved it 36 118

By civic4life - 17/09/2009 03:16 - United States

Today, it's my 17th birthday. I asked for a newer car because my car right now sucks. I got a book on photography. I don't own a camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 645

You deserved it 55 670

Time for a beer

By Nope - 17/12/2023 14:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, I tried making homemade bread, just for fun. My girlfriend started yelling that we had perfectly good bread from the store, "but noooo, my boyfriend just HAS to make his own bread!" She ended up ruining the experience, so I just threw the dough in the garbage and went to get drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 191

AITA? Yes.

By Anonymous - 20/12/2023 23:00 - United States

Today, after sharing my library app account with my sister for years, out of revenge for sleeping with her boyfriend, she removed the holds on all the books and audios I’ve been waiting months for. It could be half a year before I get any of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 2 378

By crap - 24/02/2014 04:01 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 975

You deserved it 3 241

By spenmy - 13/06/2010 09:56 - United States

Today, it was a little colder than it should be for this time of year, and as a result I was using the heater in my car. Apparently within the last four months, a mouse managed to make his way into my heater vent and die. I can not get the smell of death out of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 299

You deserved it 3 339

House hunting

By ohboy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was supposed to see an apartment. Thirty minutes after I was to meet the owner, she still hadn't shown. I called her. When I got no response, I was annoyed and kept calling. Finally, she answered, said, "I'm in the hospital with my father. He just died. Please stop calling me," and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 632

You deserved it 21 723

By thisistypical - 14/09/2009 19:28 - United States

Today, I found out that the money my husband said he loaned to his "mother" actually went to the purchase of new lingerie for the woman he's cheating on me with. I just got the bill from the department store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 484

You deserved it 3 079

Round trip

By Anonymous - 26/06/2025 08:00 - Australia

Today, due to the unexpected closure of Qatari airspace, I took a 14 hour flight from Perth, Western Australia to Perth, Western Australia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 70

Travelling light

By maddengirl12 - 20/02/2014 08:57 - United States

Today, my mom and I flew three hours from Wyoming to a volleyball camp in Kentucky. When we arrived, we went to the volleyball center and told them I was there for the volleyball camp. They told me it had been cancelled two weeks ago and they forgot to call us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 551

You deserved it 4 002

By notgay - 12/02/2013 02:30 - United States - Alfred

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 540

You deserved it 39 044

Red tape

By christian_slate - 24/12/2023 09:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, the DMV told me I had to pay a $39 "renewal" fee for a mistake they made. After over an hour of waiting, they printed a license without a Real ID star like my previous one. Then they tried to blame me for not asking for one. I didn't have time to resolve this two weeks ago, and now Pennsylvania says it's my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 105

Enjoy the ride

By Anonymous - 29/06/2025 11:00 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I found out my boyfriend is a sex addict, so now I don’t know if he even actually likes me, or if it’s just that I’m “adventurous.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 125

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 938

You deserved it 41 953

Today, if I was watching my life as a movie, I'd be thinking: "Come on, it is SO obvious that this will be a story about some gods having a bet about how fast they can get this woman to kill herself, and whether big things like health problems work best, or rather constant small annoyances." FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 143

Today, my boss told me I got my new job because she rejected candidates that seemed "too confident" or "too pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 485

You deserved it 3 038

Today, I found out that other than having to deal with cramps, headaches, PMS, PMDD, and all the other crap that comes along with periods, that it's also not uncommon to have painful gas during that time. 5 days left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 654

You deserved it 115

Today, I was on Facebook chat with my boss, talking about holiday hours. I had to go to my doctor's appointment, so I said, "G2G, love you" accidentally. Not only did he say it back, but he also requested a relationship with me on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 004

You deserved it 13 020

Today, the new manager at my workplace left early in a panic, exclaiming, "My grandma had an accident! I need to see if she's okay!" I was left in charge of the bar once again. This is the sixth time this week his grandma has had an "accident". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 202

You deserved it 2 668