The Top

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Headshot

By Anonymous - 26/07/2021 14:01

Today, I was putting on my sweatpants and accidentally stepped on the elastic drawstring. I moved my foot. The string snapped upward with great speed and hit me in my open eye. My eyeball is not happy with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 128

Hangry DVD

By Krazydude1000 - 03/01/2020 14:00

Today, I found out that my old DVD player had stopped reading my DVDs. I had the dumb idea to stick my finger in there to see what the problem was. I found the problem, which was that my fingernail wasn't on my finger after doing that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 2 187

Anarchy in the UK

By Anonymous - 23/08/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a lack of porn is ruining my life. My boyfriend refuses to verify his age for some reason, so now every time he’s horny he pesters me instead of sneaking off to the bathroom. I enjoy sex and porn too, but not three times a day. I’ve got other shit to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 310

Alexa, play "Some Things Last a Long Time" by Daniel Johnston

By Anonymous - 27/10/2022 12:00

Today, it's been one week since I found out that my ex got married. Since then, every night I dream about her breaking up with me again. Apparently, time doesn't heal all wounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 177

Naira bucks

By Anonymous - 02/09/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I confidently walked into a meeting thinking I looked sharp in my new shirt. Halfway through, someone pointed out that the tag was still hanging out the back, flapping like a flag. It wasn’t even a size tag, it literally said "₦5,500" in bold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 323

Fight club

By Anonymous - 28/10/2022 12:00

Today, I was out with my girlfriend when my ex-father-in-law, who suffers from Alzheimer’s, saw us. I don’t know what he was doing out by himself, but he still thinks I’m married to his daughter, so when he saw us he thought I was cheating and knocked my tooth out with his walking stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 251

You deserved it 93

Growing old sucks

By Jaymail - 30/10/2022 06:00

Today, I went to have my ears cleaned out because I’ve been experiencing signs of deafness. Guess what? My ears were already clear. I need hearing aids. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve lost my hair, some of my sight, and some teeth, so yeah, why not my hearing at this point… FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 123

Gratitude walks

By mala_19 - 18/08/2021 02:00 - Sweden - Skellefteå

Today, my 11 month-old son stopped saying mom and started saying dad. He already looks exactly like him. I can't help but feel jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 301

Mix up

By Anonymous - 22/08/2021 08:01 - Iran, Islamic Republic of - Pishgaman

Today, I found out that the person I love, who is also a friend, is now in a relationship with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 148

Overbearing

By Anonymous - 28/09/2025 22:00

Today, my mom got in my house while I was on vacation and “cleaned it” AKA moved everything around. Now every time I ask her, “Mom, where's my unpaid bill?” or “Mom, where’s my blue suit?” or “Mom, where’s my work ID?” all I get from her is, “Oh it must be somewhere; where did you see it last?” AAAAAAAARGH FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 91

What a trip

By Anonymous - 22/11/2022 02:00 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, I was in gym class with my crush. We were running around until she tripped over me. Now, she hates me, and says that I tripped her when everyone saw that she tripped over me, and she hates me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 201

Vandals

By Interpid traveler - 07/09/2021 05:01

Today, I was woken up by my wife calling the police because our garden had been ransacked during the night. A whole row of houses has had their plants uprooted, greenhouses broken into and garden tools stolen. The cops haven't found any leads and I feel terrible for my wife, who poured her heart and soul into that garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 729

You deserved it 95

Addicted to love

By Anonymous - 29/05/2020 20:00

Today, I was half paying attention to a text message conversation with someone about how addicted we both were to social media. It's wasn't until deep into the conversation that I realized we were actually talking about porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 1 190

Trickster

By OFukd - 03/12/2022 14:00 - United States

Today, my after-school community center received a complaint from an upset parent and they’re threatening to “sue” for traumatizing their child. Apparently, someone replaced all the books in the Little Free Library with the Kama Sutra and pornography books. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 175

No kink shaming

By Anonymous - 15/09/2021 17:01 - United States - Mountain View

Today, I found out the real reason for my parents' divorce. Not because they had grown apart as they claimed, but because my dad was sleeping with hookers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 281

You deserved it 93

Suffer, puny human

By Heartbroken cat owner - 07/12/2022 02:00

Today, I've realized my cat only comes into my room to stare out the window for like two or three minutes before leaving. I have insomnia, so I wouldn't mind having him nearby, but this is unfortunately the only time he wants nothing to do with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 142

Alexa, play "Some Things Last a Long Time" by Daniel Johnston

By kartagis - 13/12/2022 09:00 - Turkey - Mersin

Today, I’m still crying over my five-month relationship that ended two months ago. I didn't cry this much over my ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 287

Nepotism rules

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 10:59

Today, over a year after my aunt started working for my dad, her timesheets are 8 months overdue. Dad gets mad at me when I complain. She has no consequences, even though business taxes will be very late. She complains about taxes on her 6-figure salary, while I'm part-time hourly. I wish I could find a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 114

By Ash - 14/06/2019 14:02

Today, the key broke inside my lock and I ended up needing bolt cutters. Cool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 138

Attention to detail

By MelodyPW - 19/12/2022 03:00 - Algeria

Today, I wrote an email for a job offer. I checked it, double-checked it, triple-checked it, and then sent it. It's only THEN that I realised my CV wasn't attached. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 407

Grind mindset

By failedgamer01 - 30/09/2021 11:00 - United States - Mount Laurel

Today, someone I work with embarrassed me in front of everyone in my job; because I wasn’t doing something the way she liked during our meeting this morning. I ended up crying in front of my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 215

Work > Love

By Anonymous - 03/10/2021 20:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, four months after my crush told me he liked me, a day ago he told me he’d lose his job if he dates me, so he's now blocked me and avoids me when we work together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 149

Noise annoys

By IckyAsmr - 24/12/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, after much delay, work was finally completed on my parents' new ensuite bathroom. It shares a wall with my bedroom. I was relieved, until I realised the endless crashing and drilling sounds have now been replaced with the sounds of my parents' bladder and bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 179

Hug me, but don't

By Help me - 03/01/2023 00:00

Today, I'm incredibly depressed because of touch-starvation. I also have haphephobia, the fear of being touched, in addition to crippling social anxiety. Why do I feel as though I was intentionally made to be as utterly miserable as possible? FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 273

Always prepared

By Anonymous - 23/11/2025 20:00

Today, I was going to have my first overnight with the guy I’ve been seeing. Upon learning I'd packed my own condoms, he told me it was vulgar, unladylike, and suspicious that I had them. When I pointed out that he had condoms, he said, “Well yeah I’m a guy. I’m supposed to have those.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 89

Neighborly

By Anonymous - 15/05/2024 00:00

Today, I needed emergency work on my house, so I’ve been taking wine, beer, and chocolates to my neighbours as an apology for the noise and dust. Later, one of the husbands came round and punched me for showing him up, because he hasn’t given his wife chocolates in years, so she’s mad at him and he blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 125

Waning

By Anonymous - 12/01/2023 02:00

Today, my spouse gave me the gift of hugging me. I'm so touch-starved, I cried. I can see our relationship crumbling but I'm the only one who seems to want to fix it. Our kid saw me and I can't even explain how sad it made me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 160

Lost in the sauce

By Pauly D - 21/05/2024 00:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I cooked a romantic dinner for my partner to celebrate our five year anniversary. I spent hours preparing a snazzy meal. Just as we sat down to eat, I realized I had forgotten to turn off the oven, and our dessert was now a charred lump of coal. We only realised this when the fire alarm in the kitchen went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 201

Over unready

By Anonymous - 14/10/2021 08:01 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, I finally found our big casserole in the attic. Once the food was all nicely layered into it, I realized why it had been in the attic. It doesn't actually fit into our standard-sized oven. By a few millimeters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 289

Asshat

By check your husband! - 04/01/2023 09:00

Today, I’ve been getting increasingly more threatening calls and texts all day from the wife of the guy I was seeing. I had no idea she existed, and even sent her screenshots of the texts he'd sent me saying he was single. It didn’t deter this psychopath one bit. Now I’m scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 128

You deserved it 497

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The Top

Today, I bleached my upper lip hair so it wouldn't be visible anymore. At school, for the first time, the guy I like came over to talk to me after class. Just as I thought he was about to ask me out, he told me how weird my "gold moustache" looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 268

You deserved it 2 640

Today, I was in a clothing store with my girlfriend. I saw the ugliest hat ever on a hat shelf, tried it on and said to my girlfriend, "Look at this ugly hat, it's absolutely horrible. It's even dirty." An old woman stood next to me said, "Well no wonder it's ugly, it's mine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 581

You deserved it 6 071

Today, I came home from work to find my grandmother in my living room, demanding to know where I'd been all day. I'm 22 and live by myself. She stole my mother's emergency key to get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 070

You deserved it 1 502

Today, my boss asked me if I could work on Valentine's Day because there was no chance of me having a date. She's right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 172

You deserved it 3 379

Today, after lying to my kid so she doesn’t learn how little her dad cares about her, my current husband, who didn’t know I was doing this, told her everything, such as how the last two times her dad flaked on picking her up was because he was in Vegas gambling, or in jail for hiring hookers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 589

Today, my neighbour across the street has entered his ninth consecutive hour of playing Limp Bizkit at full blast. The only thing overriding my concern for his mental health is my sheer surprise that they have 9 hours of original music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 107