Today, I bought a used car from a friend of mine. After getting... - FML

By dane - United States

Today, I bought a used car from a friend of mine. After getting the car home and further inspecting it, I found one of my wife's earrings in the backseat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

70351

You deserved it

4545

Tweet

Share

Rock, hard place

Time don't heal nothing

This is us

By loser

Today, I woke up to find my 6-year-old daughter had duct taped me to my bed and dropped my wallet down the toilet. Well played. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3603

You deserved it

599

Tweet

Share

By audied - United States

Today, I noticed the woman I've been sleeping with for over 2 years never lets me see her naked during sex. I confronted her about it and she replied, "I don't care if you see me naked. I was just leaving the lights off the whole time so I don't have to see you naked." FML

I agree, your life sucks

26134

You deserved it

4561

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I applied for a passport. I was told the first set of photos I took were unusable because my face, particularly my chin, didn't fit inside the designated area for your face in the picture. My chin did fit in the frame, my double chin however, did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18228

You deserved it

43574

Tweet

Share

By whykarma - United States - Waxhaw

Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31816

You deserved it

3485

Tweet

Share

By 1357katie - Canada

Today, I told my mom about the couple times that I'd skipped classes during high school. She got really mad and grounded me for a month. That would usually be normal except for the fact that I'm 27 and live in my own apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39568

You deserved it

6245

Tweet

Share

By buhknee - United States

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

I agree, your life sucks

76428

You deserved it

13456

Tweet

Share

By -1 Pair of Pants - United States - Westborough

Today, I leaned over to pick something up and heard a loud "pop" from my waistline, followed by a "clink" on the other side of the room. My pants button had popped off my pants. Time to lose some weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10667

You deserved it

2644

Tweet

Share

By flatchested Sam - United States - Radcliff

Today, my mom said I should start wearing push up bras to make myself look better. I was wearing one when she said that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45718

You deserved it

3930

Tweet

Share

By 11321 - United States

Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was OK until he tried to spoon feed me. This didn't go over so well. Later, I noticed a strange looking brief case he was carrying. I asked him what it was and he whipped out 5 yoyos and did a yoyo show in the middle of the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65890

You deserved it

6861

Tweet

Share

By minikat

Today, my parents woke me up and grounded me for the "disrespectful" things I said to them in my sleep. Apparently I say these things every night, and each time I do they extend the grounding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3976

You deserved it

239

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, my husband and his best mate got drunk and decided it would be a good idea to try hitchhike naked for a joke. Although no one was willing to pick up two naked 28 year old-men off the side of the main road, someone did call the cops. They are being held overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14986

You deserved it

1801

Tweet

Share

By reluctant teacher - United States - Clarksville

School's out for summer, thank God!

Today, I had 15 teenagers literally laugh in my face when I asked them to be quiet. I'm a student teaching in a high school, which is the culmination of 2 years of my life and $20,000, and I might in fact actually hate doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1633

You deserved it

271

Tweet

Share

By tuck87 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had a customer write "fuck you" in the tip option area on his credit card slip, I have no idea why. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40746

You deserved it

5374

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27544

You deserved it

3448

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Arlington

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

49823

You deserved it

9979

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, after planning 4 months in advance and spending almost $600 to cover everyone's tickets to the event center, all of my siblings decided to bail on my 30th birthday celebration because driving 3 hours is too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4164

You deserved it

332

Tweet

Share

By re2K5 - Korea Republic of

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52078

You deserved it

28591

Tweet

Share

By some band player - United States - Highland Park

Today, I had a music duet in front of a crowd and 3 judges. I play tuba and my partner plays the saxophone. He burst out laughing in the middle of it because one note that I played sounded like a fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43184

You deserved it

4574

Tweet

Share

By ditched - United States - Ashland

Today, I found out my co-workers don't actually like me when they changed the hangout spot after accidentally inviting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39946

You deserved it

3817

Tweet

Share

By Tee - Australia

Today, I was saying goodbye to my boyfriend before I got on my bus. As I turned to get on, the door closed on my face. I knocked on the door. The driver looked at me, and while still staring at me, drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29953

You deserved it

5391

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I had to explain to my husband that it's biologically impossible for cats and dogs to cross-breed, and that his "brilliant idea" of getting ours to mate is just plain disturbing. He still doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40869

You deserved it

4341

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I discovered that when one of my toddlers throws up, the other sympathy-pukes too, and that this continues until they're both empty. I guess my car is going to stink of vomit for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45275

You deserved it

3677

Tweet

Share

By letmeinplease - United Kingdom

Today, I wasn't allowed to work from home, despite being ill enough to just take the day off anyway, so 'there could be someone to answer the phone'. The phone didn't ring once all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28207

You deserved it

2901

Tweet

Share

By itchybollos - Australia

Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33942

You deserved it

3323

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I found out I have a new allergy: the sun. My face is so swollen that it has started to bleed to relieve the pressure. Today is also day 6 of the 3-month European trip that I spent all year saving for. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4273

You deserved it

294

Tweet

Share

By Oze - United States

Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island. We sleep 3 feet away from each other and he has been doing this since Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24613

You deserved it

2850

Tweet

Share

By JoshuasGirl - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time, after he repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me. He passed out halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53906

You deserved it

6412

Tweet

Share

By elisabeth_pwnes - Norway

Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46121

You deserved it

3712

Tweet

Share

By tastetherainbow - United States - Katy

Today, I was asked to help my sister clean her room. The moment I opened the door, I was greeted by her screaming "TASTE THE RAINBOW" with a full mouth. She then spat the skittles into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47726

You deserved it

4826

Tweet

Share

By FastTurtle9 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I've tried literally every possible brand of antiperspirant deodorant available to me in my area. I went to the bathroom to discover I'd pitted out my favorite shirt. It's mild weather, I have done nothing active, and I'm not stressed. My body just loves to make me sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11585

You deserved it

1316

Tweet

Share

By Blamethepostman

Today, I bought stamps to send a letter. For some unknown reason, instead of putting the stamp on the letter, I posted the letter and the stamp booklet into the postbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8941

You deserved it

2756

Tweet

Share

By badmom

Today, I was told that I was a terrible mother, I was ruining my daughter’s life and that I was raising her to be promiscuous. Why? Because I'd painted my 2-year-old’s fingernails. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4501

You deserved it

606

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, My family and I were in New Orleans. We passed by all of the naughty peep shows with posters of naked women everywhere on the way to dinner. At the restaurant, my dad asks me if that was the first pair of boobs I have seen. My mom butted in saying, "Nah, remember all that porn we found?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

76637

You deserved it

27242

Tweet

Share

By scared - United States

Today, I went on a date at a restaurant with a guy. When he promised I wouldn't have to pay the bill, I didn't think he meant we'd be dining and dashing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30297

You deserved it

3410

Tweet

Share

By jjoker - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I went to the toilet to do a number 2. As I went to wipe, the toilet paper slipped out of my hand and I before my brain could register, I wiped my ass with my bare hand.. I also had curry the night before, so yeah. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2218

You deserved it

902

Tweet

Share

By still hungry - United States - Chicago

Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28230

You deserved it

4126

Tweet

Share

By Anon - Australia

Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after 2 days of not showering. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9250

You deserved it

41588

Tweet

Share

By radiant - United States

Today, I told my mom I want to get liposuction. She said "Whats the point? Its not like you can get lipo on your face!". FML

I agree, your life sucks

24894

You deserved it

4193

Tweet

Share

By MC Turtledick - United States

Today, I walked out and saw four kids mercilessly keying my car. When I questioned them on it, they said "Oh, that was your car? Oh well at least we didn't pee on your door handles too." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29653

You deserved it

2150

Tweet

Share

By GetAnotherRoomAlready - United States - Singapore

Today, I woke up at 2 AM to the sounds of my roommate and his girlfriend on Skype, playing a game of, "No, I love YOU more, baby, schmoopy schmoopy schmoopy schmoo". It went on for around half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19770

You deserved it

1681

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By abut95 | 8

#7387113 - Thursday 12 January 2017 5:13

Maybe your friend's wife owns the same pair of earrings?

By T1A2Z3 | 34

#7591468 - Saturday 27 January 2018 3:21

Maybe your friend gave your wife a lift somewhere...

COMMENTS

By abut95 | 8

#7387113 - Thursday 12 January 2017 5:13

Maybe your friend's wife owns the same pair of earrings?

By T1A2Z3 | 34

#7591468 - Saturday 27 January 2018 3:21

Maybe your friend gave your wife a lift somewhere...