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Not gonna happen

By Anonymous - 28/07/2021 08:01

Today, my wife and I are supposed to be trying for another baby. We've tried once in the last 7 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 190

Many such cases

By Homunculus1 - 21/10/2022 14:00

Today, my wife admitted she loves me as a father to our children, but is no longer attracted to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 238

You deserved it 109

Life sucks

By Anonymous - 02/09/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, somewhere along the way, I became the woman who goes to the Asda in a dressing gown with no bra after dropping my kids off at their dad's house, because life is shit, and my self respect have dropped that low. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 195

Daddy's little girl

By Anonymous - 08/08/2021 08:01 - Canada - Port Moody

Today, I found out my boyfriend of almost 10 years was/is a Sugar Daddy to a girl I know, for the past 7 months or so. I found out through a mutual friend.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 111

Some friend…

By Anonymous - 29/10/2022 16:00

Today, my friends and I went nuclear on a now former "friend," who we've discovered is a textbook narcissist. She unfriended all of us on all forms of social media, and tried to say WE unfriended HER, and overall tried to make it seem as though she was the victim. Thanks for proving my point, bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 302

Keeping it in the family

By Anonymous - 30/10/2022 12:00

Today, I discovered that my husband's recent business trip to France was actually a filthy holiday in Blackpool with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 103

Nice vacation

By Anonymous - 01/11/2022 02:00 - United States - Wisconsin Dells

Today, my obnoxious bully of an aunt forced me to walk a mile to the store in the rain to buy her a lottery ticket. When I got back, she thanked me by scream-singing “When Somebody Loves You” in the most ear-rapingly atrocious caterwaul imaginable. We’re staying with her for the rest of the week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 163

That's hard

By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 04:01

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend presented me with his cock with a ribbon on it. Basically, HE wanted sex for MY birthday and had the nerve to accuse me of being ungrateful. For his birthday last month, I gave him multiple Xbox games. He couldn’t even be bothered to get me flowers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 925

You deserved it 274

Boozed up

By Anonymous - 03/11/2022 04:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, my coworker and I were waiting outside the bar to pick up my dad. When he got in the car, my VERY drunk dad, instead of greeting us, looked my coworker dead in the eye and asked, “Are you fucking my daughter?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179

You deserved it 187

Tickle time

By Anonymous - 07/11/2022 12:00

Today, I'm a trained soldier with tours of duty under my belt, 6 foot tall with scars and tattoos, and yet I still can’t beat my brother in a fight because he cheats by tickling me until I can’t breathe or piss myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 285

Very fishy

By Bryce - 10/05/2020 02:00

Today, my dad and I went fishing. We both got a bite, but when we went to reel it in, both our hooks were in the catfish's mouth. He pushed me in the mud and took my hook out its mouth so he could say he caught it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 685

You deserved it 237

Trial and error

By Anonymous - 09/11/2022 00:00 - United States - Pomona

Today, I hung out with my boyfriend after two days of purposely not seeing him, just so he could have the chance to "miss me." When I asked him if he'd missed me, he said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 1 294

Excuses, excuses

By paternity test time - 08/11/2022 22:00

Today, my wife has been using "pregnancy hormones" as an excuse for absolutely everything. Spills a milkshake in bed at one in the morning? Pregnancy hormones! Cries about a hole in her sock? Pregnancy hormones! Gets caught fucking her coworker? Pregnancy hormones! FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 208

You deserved it 259

Dumbass

By Anonymous - 21/11/2022 04:00

Today, my son is an idiot, but I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt by giving him a job as a cashier in one of my stores. Within half an hour, I was sent security footage from that store's manager showing my son on his phone, ignoring customers, picking his nose, and stealing money from the till. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 449

In these times

By Dee Dee - 22/05/2020 08:00

Today, my husband and I purchased a new-used truck, after being assured for weeks by the company owner we work for that the company will remain open. Later, we received an email saying that the office is closing permanently. Our jobs are "secure", but he needs help selling and moving the equipment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 452

You deserved it 160

Bae goals

By ninithel - 02/09/2021 17:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that when my partner says, "Let's cuddle up, watch something and spend the night together," he means ,"I'm gonna wank and fall asleep at 8.30 with my phone playing videos." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 188

You deserved it 194

Stalker panic

By Anonymous - 04/09/2021 14:01 - Australia

Today, I was walking to the optometrist when I saw my creepy stalker following me. The entire shopping centre then sounded the alarm, so the rail was half down. Desperate to get away from my stalker, I turned around and walked out the store and hit my head on the rail in front of the employee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 153

Serial podcaster

By bananapie69 - 29/05/2020 23:00

Today, during my staff Google Meet conference, I forgot to mute my mic when I joined and I was still listening to a true crime podcast. I started to notice people's confused looks and realized they were all hearing the details of the bodies found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 1 121

Adding insult to injury

By Anonymous - 01/09/2021 13:01

Today, working on an ambulance, we had an elderly man who was obviously scared, so to get his mind off things I made small talk. When I went to ask if he was retired, it came out as, "so Steve, are you retarded?" My partner/supervisor across from me had tears running down her face from trying not to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 223

Mom gets some

By not a photographer - 21/06/2020 08:08

Today, my mom asked me to take a picture of her and a friend before they went out to dinner. I was getting ready to take the picture when I noticed the box showing the most recent picture. It was a nude. Of my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 760

You deserved it 173

I can't get you out of my head

By Anonymous - 18/12/2022 15:00 - Portugal

Today, it's been a week since I realized how much work the tongue actually does during eating. It pushes food around the mouth to my teeth like a little slug. I've been so conscious of it, I haven't enjoyed eating since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 818

Chilling

By Anonymous - 03/05/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my parents went on holiday, finally, and since I’m always freezing I took the opportunity to actually turn up the temperature on the boiler. Not 30 seconds later my dad called pissed and told me either I turn it back down or he’s coming home from Spain to kick my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 209

The mask slips

By Anonymous - 23/12/2022 12:00

Today, my boyfriend is always telling me I haven’t met his real mother yet, even though I’ve known her a year. However, when I happened to disagree with her today, she started screaming and hitting like a psycho. He had to wrestle her out the door. I get it now; I’ve now met his “real” mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 238

You deserved it 145

Take the L

By Anonymous - 06/07/2020 17:02

Today, I confessed my feelings to my best friend, how I'm deeply in love with him. The consequence wasn't good, as he told me we should never talk to each other again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 720

You deserved it 256

Creepy

By WadStakk - 08/10/2021 23:00

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old daughter, who always acts so sweet, is antagonizing a 24 year-old woman via social media regarding her boyfriend, whom my daughter is *likely* having sex with. I thought she was the purest sweetest thing and she always has a believable excuse for times unaccounted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 668

You deserved it 627

Huge balls

By Anonymous - 11/10/2021 02:04 - United States

Today, I had to pick up my son from school because he was constantly talking about his "Giant pen." In mid-July, I got him a giant-sized pen (writing utensil) and he liked it very much. Apparently, one of the teachers had their mind in the gutter and thought he was talking about… you know what. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 313

You deserved it 151

Serious business

By Anonymous - 02/01/2023 15:00

Toda, while I was on a Zoom interview for a potential new career, one of my family members screamed, "Well that's a kick in the dick!" It was so loud, the recruiter immediately told me to have a nice day and abruptly ended the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 170

You deserved it 155

Saved!

By Anonymous - 20/05/2024 22:00 - United States - Portland

Today, in order to save money, instead of going to the car wash, I decided to wash my car at home. While sponging the roof, I slipped on the soapy driveway and ended up sliding under the car, getting soaked and covered in suds. My neighbor saw the whole thing and couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 157

Hogwatch

By Anonymous - 05/12/2025 00:00

Today, I was once again berated by an idiotic parent. I’ve been called a filthy liberal, a groomer, and had my job threatened several times. All of this because I was teaching second graders about pronouns. You know, the part of English grammar that replaces a noun. Nothing political at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 119

Dad of the week

By Fuck u brian - 07/12/2025 03:00

Today, I picked up my son, who was recently diagnosed with ARFID (avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder), from my ex-husband. My ex said, "Yeah, he's over that bullshit eating thing. I told him no video games or TV unless he tried something new at every meal." I hate this smug fucking prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 642

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The Top

Today, I was at a small secret Santa with a group of friends. Everyone got each other some amazing gifts, the first person got a homemade self portrait, the second person got some professional grade playing cards, the third person got an album of past memories, and I got a pack of pens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 566

You deserved it 1 751

Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 371

You deserved it 4 036

Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis. She convinced herself she's psychic and grounded me for something she "knows" I'm going to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 135

You deserved it 1 994

Today, I got home from work to find my wife asleep in her easy chair with my two year old son asleep in a pile of torn-up paper. I soon found out it was my 1960s collection of a Superman comic book series that I inherited from my dad. It was worth well over $2,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 414

You deserved it 5 283

Today, I was getting ready to meet my boyfriend. We haven't seen each other in a month so I decided to shave my body hair, even though I have really sensitive skin and usually end up getting rashes after a few days. His flight got cancelled and he won't be back for another two days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 158

You deserved it 600

Today, I ran into the guy I’ve been seeing. He was holding hands with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 707

You deserved it 175