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By sleekRelease - 11/06/2019 04:00

Today, I was expecting an important delivery for a party I'm having tonight. I was in the shower when the doorbell rang. In my haste, I slipped and ended up with a bunch of little cuts and bruises. Turns out, it was someone trying to leave a note saying it would be delivered tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 762

You deserved it 197

Life choices

By Anonymous - 08/01/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I'd always thought my sister was an idiot for having her kids in her teens and early 20s before she was ready. Thing is, she’s now in her early 30s, her kids are grown, and she’s loving life. I had my kids in my 30s. By the time they’re grown, I’ll be old and broken down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 471

MAS*H theme song starts

By Anonymous - 18/04/2022 02:00

Today, while driving to work, I really took in the scenery. Not for the beauty, but for the practicality and access for the best place to commit suicide. I disregarded one place because it would be too hard to wash away the blood. At least when I'm suicidal, I'm thoughtful about it… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 210

Cool

By HarrisonR - 03/03/2021 00:30 - United Kingdom

Today, while talking to a boy, he asked what my name was and in a state of panic, I said, "Daddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 586

By Anonymous - 09/07/2019 00:01 - United States

Today, I'm so single, I signed up for a free consultation on an LGBT arranged marriage site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 436

Whistleblower

By WhoopsIDidItAgain - 08/03/2021 11:01 - United States - Fremont

Today, I found out my best friend is having a full-blown affair with her coworker. She's a minor. He's not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 132

By Crash44 - 08/07/2019 02:03

Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 060

You deserved it 264

Management balls-up

By lene - 11/03/2021 04:57

Today, I was fired for not completing the required computer training, which no one told me about. I was told that it's my responsibility to check it every week. It would have been nice if a single one of my supervisors had given me any indication whatsoever that this was the case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 272

You deserved it 162

Be careful what you wish for

By Anonymous - 01/05/2022 18:00 - Switzerland

Today, after two years of torture being secretly in love with a married woman, two months ago she initiated things and we became lovers. Now she says even if she divorces, she wouldn't want me as a partner, because a honest man would never "do what I'm doing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 2 871

Pokéman gone

By Anonymous - 14/03/2021 08:01

Today, I thought a cute and well-dressed guy, with a mask matching his shoes, was taking a picture of me. Flattered, I approached him. Turns out, he was playing Pokémon Go and was just trying to catch a “Geodude.” He also blurted out that he was gay. He's into dudes and Geodudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 636

ED FML

By please don’t… - 13/05/2022 06:00

Today, as always, my parents wait until I go into the kitchen to drop what they’re doing, rush into the kitchen, and stare at me while I’m making food. They also comment on what I’m eating. I’ve had seven therapists and none of them were able to help me with my embarrassment surrounding food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 151

You deserved it 143

By any means necessary

By Anonymous - 04/09/2023 00:02

Today, I actually pondered shaving off my eyebrows so I wouldn't have to go back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 297

Knackered

By Anonymous - 11/06/2022 16:00 - Germany

Today, I'm fit, but so exhausted from work that I hardly managed to even climb the stairs. Yet, as soon as I sit on the couch for longer than half an hour, my butt starts hurting. So I guess it’s either reading a book lying on my stomach, which makes my back hurt, or hanging upside down from the ceiling like a bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 151

The truth will out

By Anonymous - 29/03/2021 02:00

Today, I accidentally overheard my thesis supervisor mutter, "fucking idiot" coming out of a Zoom meeting with him. It was only me and him in the Zoom meeting, and he said it 4 seconds after saying goodbye. I just quit Zoom without saying anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 247

You deserved it 178

By Anonymous - 06/08/2019 18:00

Today, I came home from work and turned on the computer. I logged onto Facebook and saw I had a bunch of notifications. Turns out, everyone on Facebook knew I was single before I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 020

You deserved it 144

Freaked out

By anomynous - 05/04/2021 05:00

Today, my workplace replaced all of the toilets in the store with automatic toilets. I have an anxiety disorder, and I can't use them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 396

Demon child

By Anonymous - 30/05/2022 22:01

Today, people say grandchildren are a blessing, well not ours. Our grandson is only 6 but he’s the nastiest human I’ve ever encountered, and I legitimately think it would have been better if our daughter never had him. Unpopular opinion maybe, but spend one afternoon with him, I dare you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 246

Great session! Same time next week!

By Sabre777 - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, while as a therapist, a client made an audible fart and pointed out that she had done so. Shortly after, she wrinkled her nose as she savored the odor. She began to discuss her significant trauma issues. Before I could respond, her fart wafted over to me, making any mature response pointless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 871

You deserved it 215

By mafiaguy800 - 27/08/2019 14:00

Today, I woke up to see my four year-old brother with a sharpie, trying to play “Connect the Dots” with my acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 532

You deserved it 154

By Anonymous - 25/08/2019 04:04

Today, while at work, I was trying to locate the source of the really bad BO wafting around, when I realized I'd forgotten to put on deodorant this morning. I have 5 hours of shame left to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 359

You deserved it 881

What have you done?

By Anonymous - 12/04/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son dropped a firecracker in my flour storage bin, probably thinking the pop would make flour go everywhere. I guess he’s never heard of a dust explosion because what he actually did was set fire to the flour, causing such a violent shockwave it blew the kitchen window out of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 86

Drumming up business

By Anonymous - 13/07/2022 06:00

Today, I was reported for mortgage fraud. The reason? A distant cousin wanted to congratulate me on my new home, but she was upset that I didn’t go through the lender she works for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 112

No vacancy

By Uber at midnight - 11/07/2022 22:00 - United States

Today, my friend invited me over for a sleepover. Only she didn’t tell me until it was time to go to bed that she expected me to sleep on the floor, as she had three dogs sleeping on the couch, and two more in her bed. She could’ve at least warned me to bring an air mattress or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 204

You deserved it 126

Stereotypes

By Anonymous - 26/09/2019 06:01

Today, my girlfriend's Facebook relationship status was changed to single. When I tried to ask her about, she told me she's a lesbian now. Her mullet should've been a clue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 565

You deserved it 346

Which side are you on?

By Anonymous - 07/08/2022 14:00 - United Kingdom - Preston

Today, I can officially say my parents spend more time with my cheating ex than me. Today is Sunday, and since Monday they have visited her on 4 days, leaving three days for me to see them, but on two of those days I had work, so I have visited my own parents once this week, while they saw her 4 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 152

Move on, dude

By Anonymous - 13/11/2023 10:00

Today, it's been 4 years since I cheated on my boyfriend and we broke up. I've moved on within those four years, but I found out the reason I have such a hard time getting a new man now is because my ex, who still works the same minimum wage job, still goes out of his way to tell everyone he knows about our breakup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 1 515

WOOF!

By Dweeb - 02/10/2019 18:00

Today, I ran into a parked car and fell into the gutter. All because a dog suddenly barked at me. From the other side of a wooden fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 656

Father material

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 07:30

Today, I did a pregnancy announcement with my boyfriend and our families. My boyfriend acted happy until we were driving home, then claimed I pressured him with witnesses, started to cry because he doesn’t want kids, and by the end was begging me to give it up for adoption. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 914

Sussy baka

By Every time I date a retail chick - 21/08/2022 22:00 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I learned that while I respectfully distanced myself from my female friends in the last two years of dating my girlfriend, as per her request, she has been making loads of new male friends on her "backup Snapchat." This includes guys from her work, or guys her girlfriends bring around her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 317

Cutting corners

By Anonymous - 07/06/2021 06:01

Today, we can finally order badly needed safety gear for my crew. My boss flipped his shit, demanding that I "stop bringing it up, it's annoying" for doing my damndest to keep up with industry standards. I was brought to tears for literally doing my job, with no "peers" to back me, since I'm an HR department of one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295

You deserved it 138

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The Top

Today, I found out my best friend was cheating on her boyfriend. After confronting her boyfriend and showing him proof, he responded with denial and didn't believe me. Now my whole circle of friends not only think I'm trying to start a rumor, but that I'm a home wrecker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 592

You deserved it 8 802

Today, I went to the dentist after 24 hours of severe tooth pain. They did an emergency root canal. After the anesthesia wore off, within minutes, the pain returned only worse than before. Called the dentist, I had to return, only to find they had done the root canal on the wrong tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 322

You deserved it 3 045

Today, as always, my name is Karen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 692

You deserved it 415

Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me via a meme. What the fuck? With a friend of mine as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 140

Today, my boyfriend was telling me a story about his ex-wife. Just normal day-to-day stuff. He then got mad at me because I wasn’t mad that he was talking about his ex. I told him that I understood he had a life before me, and it wasn’t a big deal. Apparently, he wants a jealous immature brat. Sorry? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 139

Today, I figured out the medical problem with my wife’s legs. She likes to spread them so my cousin has somewhere to rest his penis while I’m at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 201