Work, Science fiction and Coworkers: Pseudoscience

Pseudoscience

By Carl - 09/07/2021 14:01

Today, I was chatting with a coworker when he said he was a "Sigma male." I laughed, thinking he was joking. He then got mad when I explained how the whole alpha/beta thing was actually debunked by its own creator. Sigma balls, dude. FML

agreeclassic 1 009

vote type 1 159

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Let people believe

By Anonymous - 02/01/2021 16:58

Today, I told a friend I had become more religious lately. He immediately started mocking me for being a "stupid creationist bigot." When I told him how offensive that was, he acted bewildered and started condescendingly lecturing me about how "science has proven God does not exist." FML

agreeclassic 924

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Don't feed the trolls

By pathetic - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Poland - Warsaw

Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote, "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML

agreeclassic 16 287

vote type 1 57 197

Yeah, that probably wouldn't work

By Anonymous - 20/03/2020 03:30

Today, a coworker was telling me he was lonely and needed someone special in his life. I replied, "Why don't you find yourself a girlfriend?" He looked at me weird and said, "I'm gay." FML

agreeclassic 1 486

vote type 1 532

Indoctrination?

By homo fuckofftus - 22/05/2015 17:10 - United States - San Diego

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML

agreeclassic 34 224

vote type 1 2 491

True faith

By csor027 - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was having a good talk with a coworker and I was excited that I've made my first friend at work. After sharing some stories and some laughs he asked if I had a boyfriend. I said I do. He asked if I was always faithful, I said I was. He then walked away. FML

agreeclassic 35 004

vote type 1 4 731

By Rick - 28/07/2011 10:51 - United States

Today, I got into an argument with a militantly feminist co-worker of mine. She threw several vulgar insults at me and debased the entire male gender before storming off. I'd only asked if she needed help while she was doing a crossword. FML

agreeclassic 34 960

vote type 1 5 243

By Anonymous - 03/10/2014 20:43 - United States - Tempe

Today, I overheard my brother telling his friend that having sex with a girl who's on the pill gives the guy female hormones and "turns you into like, half-chick, half-dude." He was serious. How am I related to this moron? FML

agreeclassic 38 469

vote type 1 3 104

By ReComatosed242 - 09/03/2016 00:29 - Bahamas - Eleuthera

Today, my co-worker and I got into an argument. It ended with him threatening me to roll my balls with a paint roller until they looked like "fresh, popping doughs". FML

agreeclassic 15 974

vote type 1 1 411

By ZG_Rules - 20/03/2015 14:38 - Netherlands - Wageningen

Today, I disproved a scientific theory created by my supervisor. He was furious and said that I shouldn't have tried to disprove him. He told me to continue working with his theory and now he threatens to fire me if I publish my work. FML

agreeclassic 34 687

vote type 1 2 981

Ah yes, homophobic jokes, so funny

By Anonymous - 05/02/2021 05:01

Today, I was working at my desk when a colleague came over to my desk and said, “You loiter in gay bars”. I started having a panic attack because I thought he'd found out and would out me to my wife. Only when he began cracking up laughing did I realise it was a "joke." FML

agreeclassic 489

vote type 1 2 130

Plop 17

Friday 9 July 2021 15:23

Pffff, you say that just 'cause you're such a beta.... (For the avoidance of doubt: this is a joke)

Yudith 25

Friday 9 July 2021 18:32

Is it another way of saying "forever alone guy"?

Comments

Plop 17

Friday 9 July 2021 15:23

Pffff, you say that just 'cause you're such a beta.... (For the avoidance of doubt: this is a joke)

Yudith 25

Friday 9 July 2021 18:32

Is it another way of saying "forever alone guy"?

Charlie Given 26

Saturday 10 July 2021 15:01

Ummm what?

Bonniibiik 6

Monday 12 July 2021 12:03

Plot twist he’s just a frat guy

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I made a joke that my boyfriend was going to end up sending me into premature labor. Later, I went into labor for real. My boyfriend thought I was faking and refused to take me to the hospital. FML

agreeclassic 34 770

vote type 1 8 356

Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML

agreeclassic 17 730

vote type 1 31 105

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

agreeclassic 29 808

vote type 1 2 632

Today, I sent my father a text asking when he was finally coming to meet his 4-month-old granddaughter. His response? "I forgot." He forgot he has a granddaughter. FML

agreeclassic 33 727

vote type 1 3 578

Today, we're on a group family vacation with our old roommates from college. In the ten years in between, I forgot how much I hate their lazy asses already. I'm doing more than usual on this vacation, I cook, clean, and take care of their kids, only for one to ask, "What were you doing for so long?" FML

agreeclassic 344

vote type 1 152

Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood, when a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken Spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. I'm a hispanic guy. FML

agreeclassic 148 546

vote type 1 11 717