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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Hit and trundle

    By Anonymous - 04/11/2022 14:00

    Today, it was supposed to be my last day of work before flying off on my first foreign holiday in 4 years. Some bastard on an electric scooter ran into me at the bus stop and broke my leg so badly the doctors say I need pins and a metal cage. Waiting for surgery now. So long holiday, maybe next year, eh? FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 180
    You deserved it 110
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    Alexa, play "Some Things Last a Long Time" by Daniel Johnston

    By Anonymous - 27/10/2022 12:00

    Today, it's been one week since I found out that my ex got married. Since then, every night I dream about her breaking up with me again. Apparently, time doesn't heal all wounds. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 771
    You deserved it 177
    Share  

    Mind your own beeswax

    By Anonymous - 27/10/2022 00:00 - Australia

    Today, a stranger at a bird show yelled at me for owning an "unnatural and irresponsibly bred" hybrid lorikeet. He's a rescue who was horribly abused in his last home. Fuck me for giving a shit about animals even if they're not pure I guess. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 936
    You deserved it 117
    Share  

    Great relationship you got there…

    By anon - 26/10/2022 00:00

    Today, I had to blast music, turn the lights on, and physically drag my 29 year-old girlfriend out of bed to wake her up. All the while, she verbally abused me. This is the only way to wake her up, and if I don't do it, she will sleep through the day and then scream at me. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 200
    You deserved it 526
    Share  

    Unlucky in love

    By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 16:00 - United States - Martinsburg

    Today, it was supposed to be my first date with a girl I've been speaking to for three months. Last night, she revealed that she's still married, that her husband is "not so bad", and then confessed it all to him and blocked me. It was gonna be my first date in six years, after the last one stalked me across the country. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 143
    You deserved it 166
    Share  

    About last night…

    By Couch Potato - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Elk Grove

    Today, my girlfriend got mad at me because I slept on the couch last night. She also seems to have forgotten that we had an argument last night, after which she stormed into our bedroom and locked me out. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 42 649
    You deserved it 3 285
    Share  

    High pressure environment

    By Anonymous - 21/10/2022 10:00 - United States - Gig Harbor

    Today, it's been two weeks since my wife started her new job. She got overwhelmed and fell off the wagon on Monday. Instead of going to work, she spent the last week passed out drunk, and she'll probably get fired. We really needed that 100k a year she was going to make. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 135
    You deserved it 155
    Share  

    Dumbest cheater

    By Anonymous - 21/10/2022 06:00

    Today, and for the last few weeks, I'd let the nagging feeling that my boyfriend was up to something go. It's also the day I found his messages to other girls on Xbox Live of all things. On a profile that we both share. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 989
    You deserved it 147
    Share  

    Our Kansas

    By Anonymous - 20/10/2022 22:00 - United States - Lake Saint Louis

    Today, my son waited until the night before he had a presentation on Arkansas due to tell me about it. We (meaning me, alone) stayed up until 3 am making a topographical map of the state out of plaster and drywall. At 8 a.m., a half hour after he got on the bus, I found it laying on his bed. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 492
    You deserved it 1 660
    Share  

    Up and down

    By NightmareCentral - 19/10/2022 16:00 - United States - Little Rock

    Today, I felt euphoric joy upon finding my deceased cat alive! Then utter devastation: she was suffering and needed putting down. Then joy! She recovered! Then crippling loss when it didn't last. This vivid emotional nightmare continued over and over until I woke up sobbing. My Fitbit says it was my best sleep in a year. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 933
    You deserved it 161
    Share  

    Missed it

    By Anonymous - 18/10/2022 18:00 - Australia - Oyster Bay

    Today, I found the cause of last night's crippling insomnia was the sleeping pill on the kitchen floor. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 669
    You deserved it 237
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    Make it stop

    By Fuck - 18/10/2022 10:00

    Today, I was feeling too tired because I couldn't sleep last night, due to my mother's snoring. Since I stayed with both my parents and my sister in a small town for a vacation, I requested to sleep in separate rooms because my mother's snoring is disgustingly loud. She refused, and called me a crybaby. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 833
    You deserved it 131
    Share  

    Not again…

    By Anonymous - 18/10/2022 06:00

    Today, I had a dissociative episode that lasted over an hour. The trigger was the Netflix show Hilda. Other triggers were the games Tekken and Diddy Kong Racing. It just seems random at this point. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 692
    You deserved it 225
    Share  

    It's not what you think!

    By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 22:00

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I woke up and my date I'd had the best sex ever with last night had found the sex doll I hid in a cupboard. She'd left a note calling me a creep, and to lose her number. It was a prop for my brother's stag do last week, I’ve never had sex with it, I’m just waiting for the recycling bins on Friday. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 721
    You deserved it 429
    Share  

    Butter fingers

    By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 14:00

    Today, I finally got my new car delivered to my home. After clicking some pics, I was walking around it, just admiring it, and tripped. Both sets of keys fell down the storm water drain. It rained heavily last night and this morning, so the water inside is still flowing. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 047
    You deserved it 395
    Share  

    I've had even enough

    By nobabies - 14/10/2022 06:00

    Today, I started my period. Unfortunately, my last period only ended six days ago. PCOS sucks. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 018
    You deserved it 105
    Share  

    My body hates me

    By How? - 09/10/2022 22:30

    Today, I'm on the last few days of my period. After nothing came out the whole day, a dollop of blood suddenly poured out, somehow managed to entirely circumvent the giant pad I was wearing, and went straight into my underwear, pants, and the chair I was sitting on. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 516
    You deserved it 162
    Share  

    For no one

    By Anonymous - 07/10/2022 03:00 - Australia - Sydney

    Today, I thought that something that happened with my friends last year had died down. I realised I was on the wrong side of the argument, so I apologised. My friend apologised as well while I was absent, and apparently everyone was crying and hugging. You know the response I got from them? "Umm… OK?" I swear everyone hates me. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 054
    You deserved it 370
    Share  

    The book of revelations

    By MiraR - 06/10/2022 18:30

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I lost my diary. The diary in which I write all my appointments/chores/grocery lists, etc. It includes "Wash last week's underwear", "Batteries for vibrator" and "Diarrhea meds". I'm 99% sure I lost it in one of my classes. I'm dreading going to college tomorrow. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 200
    You deserved it 431
    Share  

    Fetishizating weeboos are cringe

    By wtfffbro - 02/10/2022 22:30 - United States - Arlington

    Today, after I randomly ghosted an ex-friend and blocked her on my social media a few years ago for being too obsessed with Asian culture, I also saw the same girl making out with the same guy I’ve had a crush on the last few weeks. They’ve already started dating as of last night. Karma: 1 Me: 0. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 245
    You deserved it 1 210
    Share  

    Some people don't belong in education

    By Panagiotis - 02/10/2022 00:01 - United States

    Today, we had a substitute teacher. She was taking attendance and had trouble pronouncing my last name. When I corrected her, I heard her mutter under her breath about, “Goddamn Mexican immigrants…” I’m from Greek ancestry, born in the USA. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 601
    You deserved it 149
    Share  

    Not now, bowels!

    By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

    Today, I finally felt the effects of a laxative that I took last night. This morning, when I was in the dentist's chair. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 28 146
    You deserved it 7 130
    Share  

    Fast and furious

    By Anonymous - 29/09/2022 10:00

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I once again had to apologise to a date for cumming too fast as they stormed out the door angry at me. I don’t get it, I’m in shape, I don’t watch porn, and I’ve even had therapy, so why can’t I last longer than 15 seconds before busting my load like an inexperienced teen? FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 475
    You deserved it 539
    Share  

    Spill the T

    By Seasonal Suck - 28/09/2022 16:30 - United States

    Today, seasonal allergies are whooping my ass again. The last time this happened was… only two weeks ago. Even more unfortunately, today also marks the day I discovered that while hot tea does help soothe my poor, inflamed throat, if I drink too much of it without a break, I throw up. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 929
    You deserved it 215
    Share  

    Seek help

    By Anonymous - 26/09/2022 12:00

    Today, my girlfriend chose to hate-stalk her ex-best friend's social media, then angrily rant to me for over an hour about what she saw. This happens three or four times a week. They last spoke over a decade ago. The last time I suggested therapy, she didn't speak to me for a week. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 090
    You deserved it 252
    Share  

    Toan is stored in the balls

    By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

    Today, my Dad's banjo arrived, as part of his mid-life crisis. It would be fine if he could play it but unfortunately he's tone deaf. He hasn't stopped playing it for the last 4 hours. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 28 348
    You deserved it 2 798
    Share  

    Temptation

    By Anonymous - 20/09/2022 15:00

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, a woman I work with asked me out. She is smart, funny, beyond gorgeous, and I’d be a fool to say no. Unfortunately, she has done jail time for smashing her last boyfriend's penis with a bat and he lost a testicle. What do I do? FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 473
    You deserved it 328
    Share  

    Red tape

    By Anonymous - 17/09/2022 14:30 - Slovenia - Destrnik

    Today, I found out I can't enroll in a course I need for my degree. I don't have the right prerequisites. They weren't posted anywhere. The applications for similar courses I could've taken instead have closed last week. I lost a year and a fuckton of money because I waited for the last minute, and now I can't get in. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 376
    You deserved it 1 579
    Share  

    Out of the frying pan…

    By Godhelpme - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Houston

    Today, in a last-ditch attempt to get away from my psycho coworker, I made my boss transfer me to another branch in the district. My coworker was immediately moved to that branch, because we "work well together". FML
    I agree, your life sucks 51 137
    You deserved it 4 784
    Share  

    If you're not part of the problem…

    By Anonymous - 13/09/2022 22:00

    Today, I was fired for refusing to let a kid back into my classroom. This kid is a psycho. In the last month he punched my pregnant TA in the stomach, stabbed a girl with a pencil in the ribs, killed the class hamster, and a bunch of other stuff, but sure, I’m the problem and deserve to be fired. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 172
    You deserved it 106
    Share  
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    Today, after months of trying to make my girlfriend orgasm, she finally did. It was with my brother. I'll definitely knock next time. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 17 880
    You deserved it 1 611
    Today, after spending all day begging my husband to stop playing video games and show me some attention, I finally fell asleep out of boredom. As soon as I did, he shut the game off and went to hang out with our neighbor. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 15 835
    You deserved it 1 630
    Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone interview with a company. Excited, I prepared for the interview and conducted extensive research on the company. The interview ended within a minute. They'd got the wrong person. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 45 270
    You deserved it 3 599
    Today, I bought some expensive fabric softener since I'm not too keen on my detergent's smell. Only after washing two weeks worth of laundry did I discover that mixed together they realistically mimic the smell of fresh puke. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 21 958
    You deserved it 3 882
    Today, I found out that my crush didn't remember calling me beautiful, telling me he liked me, or any of the other romantic things he said to me while drunk last night. He did however remember me promising to bake him cookies. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 26 823
    You deserved it 3 163
    Today, I found out my husband of one year has been renting his old batchelor's apartment in secret, because he is unsure if he wants to stay married to me, and we are broke. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 159
    You deserved it 119
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