Animals, Weird, Public freakouts and Birds: Mind your own beeswax

Mind your own beeswax

By Anonymous - 26/10/2022 18:00 - Australia

Today, a stranger at a bird show yelled at me for owning an "unnatural and irresponsibly bred" hybrid lorikeet. He's a rescue who was horribly abused in his last home. Fuck me for giving a shit about animals even if they're not pure I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 112

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Same thing different taste

Dog people

By peta eata - 02/08/2021 13:01 - United States

Today, a crazed woman started screaming at me at the dog park. She was saying that I was cruel and unfit to be a pet owner, and she ought to kick my ass. My dog's ears and tail were cropped before I even got him. He’s a rescue and came to me like this. She wouldn’t listen and followed me to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 89

It's MINE

By birdy - 01/08/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, after months of trying to persuade her to give it to a wildlife rescue, I reported my stepmother to the authorities for illegally keeping an endangered bird in the kitchen. When they took it, she screamed that I had no right to do that, as she considered it hers since she found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 245

Just do it

By tulisa - 21/02/2015 04:25 - United States - Alexandria

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 371

You deserved it 4 464

Suspicious minds

By abusedparrot - 24/08/2014 12:40 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 258

You deserved it 6 137

By Anonymous - 26/04/2013 18:01 - Mexico - Ensenada

Today, I was denounced for being a terrible person, because my family raises chickens, some of which we eat. I was then told how cruel I am for "killing innocent birds" and that "good" people buy their meat from the supermarket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 983

You deserved it 3 263

Get it!

By tay - 17/09/2013 15:44 - Canada - Erin

Today, it was my first day closing alone at a pet store when a lady came in wanting to return a bird she bought months ago. Once I informed her there were no returns on livestock, she let the bird free and ran out the door, leaving me to catch it and explain to my manager where it came from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 648

You deserved it 2 845

By In urgent need of a new roommate - 26/03/2014 23:44 - United States - West Linn

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 553

You deserved it 3 366

By Devil's Pigeon - 18/04/2017 14:00

Today, on vacation, I had my first encounter with a macaw parrot, who promptly bit my ear and shat on me while amused tourists laughed and took pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 249

You deserved it 413

By craphanded - 19/07/2011 17:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 789

You deserved it 9 202

By birdsterrifyme - 23/03/2015 04:42 - United States - Sikeston

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 166

You deserved it 4 374

Attacksloth32 6

Thursday 27 October 2022 2:34

Tons of bird-brains at these events. They don't give a crap about animals; to them, animals are a fashion statement or circus monkey.

mha8649 8

Friday 28 October 2022 13:58

screw that asshole, and lorikeets are awesome I have two and they are fun to watch. congrats on the rescue.

Comments

Attacksloth32 6

Thursday 27 October 2022 2:34

Tons of bird-brains at these events. They don't give a crap about animals; to them, animals are a fashion statement or circus monkey.

mha8649 8

Friday 28 October 2022 13:58

screw that asshole, and lorikeets are awesome I have two and they are fun to watch. congrats on the rescue.

Yudith 24

Friday 28 October 2022 18:53

That lorikeet is an inspiration. From abuse victim to show champion and (I hope) winner. Congrats for the proud bird!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend’s dad has a sword he inherited from his dad that he claims links their family to the old Swiss nobility. I work in a museum so I know most of the makers' marks on swords, so I’m not sure how to tell him his sword is a reproduction made in Spain less than 100 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 83

Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 297

You deserved it 1 134

The Top

Today, I'm very ill. My throat and glands are so swollen that whenever I fall asleep, I relax too much and cut off my own air. The doctor said it's a viral infection and there's nothing they can give me, so I can choose between trying to kill myself by sleeping or staying awake for the next few days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 675

You deserved it 2 638

Today, after having spent two weeks planning my husband's surprise birthday party with his friends and family, we get in the car on the way to "dinner" and he says, "I really hope it's just the two of us tonight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 349

Today, I saw my daughter dusting her furniture with the white handkerchief I gave her as a wedding present. It's been in our family for 4 generations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 970

You deserved it 5 764

Today, after waiting well over a month for a work visa in Germany that should only have taken 3 weeks to come through, I finally received my long-awaited answer. Unfortunately, that answer was "We lost your paperwork." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 721

You deserved it 2 629

Today, my girlfriends and I had planned a movie night. When she got home, she took her laptop and some snacks we prepared, and spent the evening playing online games. When I asked if I should wait for her, she told me to go and "watch some shit on Netflix, I don't really care" without looking away from the laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 109

Today, I dumped my boyfriend for cheating on me and he actually asked if we weren’t dating could we still have sex, as a FWB type of thing. I blame his mother, she must have done something to screw him up, there’s no way idiocy like his occurs naturally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 264