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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Wild

    By harrassed - 11/09/2022 02:30 - Australia

    Today, my housemate yelled at me because I'm "ignoring" her and it makes her feel "rejected and hated." Last week, she yelled at me for saying hello, and told me not to speak to her unless she spoke to me first, because she was "stressed out" and "can't be disturbed." I can't take her mood swings any more. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 261
    You deserved it 124
    Share  

    Brief encounter

    By Angry Orphan - 09/09/2022 15:29

    Today, after I got reacquainted with an old friend with whom it'd been 12 years since we last spoke, both divorced, with kids, we started talking, start feeling things for each other. We'd both agreed to take things slow. We spend an amazing weekend together, made plans to spend my birthday together, and then I was ghosted. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 501
    You deserved it 175
    Share  

    Busted

    By amy - 08/09/2022 07:30

    Today, I was released from jail. Why was I in jail? Last night, I used my taser on a much larger, drunken male individual who wouldn't physically keep his hands off me, despite me telling him to back off. Everything was on camera outside the bar, yet I'm the one who was arrested. Thank you California laws. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 406
    You deserved it 236
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    Coda

    By Anonymous - 05/09/2022 10:30

    Today, I was at a very important music competition. When we'd rehearsed the song in question, the conductor said we were to repeat the last four bars of the song three times. As I went to play the third time, the whole orchestra stopped playing. I kept playing by accident and we came in third because of my mistake. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 080
    You deserved it 353
    Share  

    I never knew you

    By Anonymous - 04/09/2022 19:30

    Today, I saw a YouTube video of the cutest, sweetest old dog. When I checked the channel for more videos of this dog, I discovered that he died last month. Day ruined. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 914
    You deserved it 257
    Share  

    Road rage

    By Anonymous - 04/09/2022 14:30

    Today, while I was reluctantly driving to work on a Sunday, some guy in a shiny Audi threw a plastic root beer bottle full of urine at my old Toyota. He didn’t even bother to put on the cap on, like a gentleman would. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 100
    You deserved it 118
    Share  

    Infrastructure

    By Ahmed - 02/09/2022 18:00

    Today, it's the sixth day since the VDSL cable connected to my house was cut off by a truck driver. It's now the third time this month, and last time it took around 17 days for the internet provider to send someone to fix it. I've already spend $50 on internet just to be able to work over the last week. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 932
    You deserved it 93
    Share  

    MCU FML

    By iwishiwasdead - 30/08/2022 10:00

    Today, my roommates yet again decided to have a Marvel movie night. They do this three or four times a month, staying up all night, blasting the sound, and yelling like lunatics. The living room shares a wall with my bedroom. I fucking hate Marvel movies. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 999
    You deserved it 266
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    The ice cream machine is broken

    By Chris - 29/08/2022 04:00

    Today, it's the eighth day in the last two weeks that my job has kept me late, while working with broken equipment. It's been longer than that, but I started counting two weeks ago. I've been cussed out because of the broken equipment too. No amount of money is worth not seeing my girl. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 909
    You deserved it 171
    Share  

    Backfired

    By Anonymous - 25/08/2022 00:00

    Today, it was a coworker's last day. Over the last 6 months, he has been talking smack about me because he assumed I'd ratted him out for a Facebook post, ranting about our place of employment. I decided to confront him after work to let him know that I didn't do it. He then reported me for harassment to all of my supervisors. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 886
    You deserved it 248
    Share  

    Sussy baka

    By Every time I date a retail chick - 21/08/2022 22:00 - United States - Federal Way

    Today, I learned that while I respectfully distanced myself from my female friends in the last two years of dating my girlfriend, as per her request, she has been making loads of new male friends on her "backup Snapchat." This includes guys from her work, or guys her girlfriends bring around her. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 103
    You deserved it 317
    Share  

    DIABEETUS

    By Diabeetus - 21/08/2022 16:00 - United States

    Today, after finding out that my mom is diabetic last year in November, this July a good friend of mine died from diabetes. I also found out that my dad is diabetic, as well as my grandma. It would appear that Wilford Brimley hates my guts. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 733
    You deserved it 132
    Share  

    I kissed a girl and I… didn't like it

    By Anonymous - 19/08/2022 10:00 - Montenegro - Kotor

    Today, after I kissed girl last night, who is pretty but who I don't really like, I'm going out with her tonight, and I feel more pissed than happy. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 122
    You deserved it 1 511
    Share  

    Side hustle

    By BlindsidedAFuhh - 15/08/2022 06:00

    Today, my fiancé called off our engagement and broke up with me abruptly, because his mom "wouldn’t approve and I deserve a mother-in-law who would approve.” His mother passed away from COVID last year. I later found out that “mom” was code word for his other girlfriend, who he’s been seeing for a year. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 135
    You deserved it 123
    Share  

    Hangover from hell

    By Damnyouspellcheck - 13/08/2022 18:00

    Today, I sent a text to a girl I met last night. Since we'd both had a few drinks, I texted, “U alive?” It wasn’t until later I found it it had autocorrected to “U alone?” when she texted back that she was “creeped out” and “no longer felt safe around me,” and promptly blocked me. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 441
    You deserved it 728
    Share  

    Smells like team spirit

    By SeriouslyDude - 13/08/2022 16:00 - United States

    Today, the last game of the season was ruined by one of the new players who loves to scream trash talk. The rest of us play hard, but cheer and encourage everyone. I wish I would've known he could trash a whole game before I bankrolled a bunch of equipment repairs for next season as a senior player. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 649
    You deserved it 155
    Share  

    Is this seat taken?

    By sochunky - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Bromham

    Today, someone had thrown up onto the last remaining seat on the train. Guess who accidentally sat in it. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 21 598
    You deserved it 3 524
    Share  

    Don't mention it again

    By Anonymous - 11/08/2022 12:00

    Today, our daughter threatened to throw us out if her mom asked about having children again. My wife is completely unable to control herself, and lasted a full 30 seconds before trying to restart the baby conversation. We weren’t just thrown out, she soaked us with the hose all the way to our car. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 341
    You deserved it 2 038
    Share  

    Where there's a will, there's a way

    By Alfonso - 03/08/2022 14:00 - United States - Pomona

    Today, I got a text from my husband’s adult son offering help. I’ve been my husband’s caretaker for 4 years as he battled Parkinson’s and cancer. His son never called once to offer help; when I asked, he refused. Sadly, my husband passed last month. Now his son is offering help because they can’t find the will. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 316
    You deserved it 98
    Share  

    So close, but yet so far

    By socks - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

    Today, I had to explain to a woman I didn't know that my husband was killed overseas. She replied, "I know exactly how you feel, my dog died last month." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 49 640
    You deserved it 3 483
    Share  

    You ass!

    By Jack - 02/08/2022 00:00

    Today, I just spent the last 3 years working on a research project and published about it, read by a multitude co-authors and proofreaders. My mum just spotted it has the word "asses" in it, instead of "assess". FML
    I agree, your life sucks 891
    You deserved it 277
    Share  

    My house, my rules

    By Anonymous - 27/07/2022 00:01

    Today, my daughter asked to go to a party and I said no, because I know some of the other people going and they're bad news. She then said she only asked permission as a courtesy, and is going anyway and just left. She lives with me but she did turn 18 last week, and I don’t know what to do. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 433
    You deserved it 1 007
    Share  

    The golden child

    By Anonymous - 25/07/2022 12:00

    Today, at lunch with my mother, she disclosed that she made some changes to her will. Instead of the previous even split to all siblings, 90% of the sizable estate will now go to my brother. He has already been living off my mother's property for the last 10 years, and reaping the benefits of being expense free. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 040
    You deserved it 136
    Share  

    Inappropriate behavior

    By start waxing - 23/07/2022 14:00

    Today, for the third time, I had to tell my stepfather to stop using my razor. It seems when I told him last time that I use it on my armpits, that only encouraged the behaviour. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 847
    You deserved it 123
    Share  

    Never assume

    By It_gets_better - 19/07/2022 14:00 - United States - Las Cruces

    Today, at a family gathering, I gave my toddler my phone to get a moment of peace. After assuring my nosy, judgemental aunt and cousin that I wasn't worried about it because I have dropped it myself numerous times over the last two years, and I trusted the OtterBox phone case it was in, my son dropped and broke it. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 343
    You deserved it 958
    Share  

    Corporate ladder

    By Greg - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

    Today, I had to sit and listen to the guy in the next cube brag to his wife about the promotion he just received. The promotion my boss told me last week that I was going to get. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 35 894
    You deserved it 2 709
    Share  

    Close to the edge

    By itssomething - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Netherlands - Utrecht

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, my closest encounter to having sex in the last four months was getting chlamydia from Russell Brand. In a dream. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 21 281
    You deserved it 2 825
    Share  

    Stop! Hammertime!

    By Anonymous - 17/07/2022 00:00

    Today, my husband picked up and threw a hammer which smashed a hole in the plastic side of the conservatory, that daylight and rain can now get through, all because he “thought” he saw a mouse, which turned out to be one of my fluffy slippers half hidden under a chair. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 883
    You deserved it 155
    Share  

    Dental records

    By Stephanie Kugelman - 15/07/2022 10:00

    Today, it's the sixth day in a row of non-stop migraines, due to grinding my teeth. Medicine works, but doesn't last. A mouth guard offers very little relief, I'm just so stressed out, and I think too much. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 881
    You deserved it 158
    Share  

    Not so white lie

    By mintyfresh - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

    Today, I had to lie to my dentist about how often I brush my teeth. I honestly don't remember the last time I did. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 9 348
    You deserved it 121 391
    Share  
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    Today, I was trying to go for number 2 while drying my hair so that my boy friend won't hear me do it. The lock on the door was broken, and he saw how good I am at multitasking. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 10 224
    You deserved it 2 742
    Today, I accidentally edged over the speed limit and got pulled over. The officer asked me if I knew why he'd pulled me over. Before I could say something diplomatic, my dad said from the passenger seat, "Because you're a prick in fancy dress?" I got ticketed. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 24 170
    You deserved it 2 245
    Today, I got myself a cool pair of colored contacts. I was wearing them while at home, so that I'll get used to them. Then I had to go to a job interview. I forgot to take them out. I went to a job interview with zebra-print eyes. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 12 010
    You deserved it 68 611
    Today, my cat was in the bathroom when I was undressing to get into the shower. I realized that he was the only male to have seen me naked in the past two months. Then he started scratching the door for me to let him out. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 55 650
    You deserved it 9 073
    Today, I'm a queer woman who's been in love for two years with my straight Muslim female friend. If she ever found out about my interest in her, she'd probably be disgusted. It also doesn't help that my homophobic/racist/xenophobic/islamophobic Catholic family would disown me if they found out. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 961
    You deserved it 403
    Today, I came home to my frantic mom boxing up all the family electronics. She'd heard about the Roblox lawsuit and is now convinced that every inch of the internet is crawling with pedophiles. Now my two little brothers are throwing earsplitting tantrums and I have no way to drown them out. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 409
    You deserved it 85
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