Not now, bowels!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I finally felt the effects of a laxative that I took last night. This morning, when I was in the dentist's chair. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 118
You deserved it 7 110

Top comments

perdix 29

The dentist must be like a very confused oilman -- he starts drilling one hole and a gusher comes out of another! Poor Uncle Jed.


6, capitalization* Try fixing your mistakes first. Sheesh. :)

So im guessing im going to your mother's tonight?

10, They spelled it fine, not everyone spells in American english

#10: Both are correct. There are SO many words which have two spellings. Like, realize or realise and encyclopaedia and encyclopedia. In the first case, it's just difference between American and British/Australian English.

Don't hate on #1, he wanted to be first but had to pee, and he only has 3 fingers.

its all right 10 kaysL just feels like a big shot today, so please sir drop your ego, wont you?

#10. We are totally cognizant of regional dialects and spellings. We just do not give a hot damn about you or any other outsiders.

I think Kay's ****** would negate your calling her "sir".

Oh, my bad. I meant fanged black hole that feeds on every form of sentient life.

but Fox News isn't sentient. Fox News is a trollbot programmed to churn out overly outrageous statements in order to piss off as many people as robotically possible.

KiddNYC1O 20

I must say, 10 executed that fail pretty well.

KaySL is a woman? Nooooooooo sir, I think not. The "SL" stands for Schlong Long. Freaking idjits.

I thought it stood for something like Sir Lancelot at first. 'Kay, Sir Lancelot, I'll get right on that. That, or it could be Sir Longaschlong.

KingDingALing 9

Whoa whoa whoa, I'm the fail master in this town! Nobody dares to challenge my authority!

#52/epicfails - the singular 'they' has been in use for over five hundred years. Although its use in formal writing is controversial, it's use in informal writing or conversation is perfectly acceptable. Personally I find it a lot less awkward than artificial gender-neutral constructs like he/she.

I'm sorry to burst everyone's bubble about grammar. But this chick dropped a deuce on the dentists chair.

Buchitoo 4
flipflipflipidel 0

#52 You misused the word "farther". It's 'further' in that context. Everyone has grammar problems, yet people are hypocrites. I have lots of grammar issues, but I felt the need to correct a grammar Nazi.

Wow 68, that made me laugh really f***ing hard. Thank you for that.

Wow. Hope you only felt the effects, not pooped all over.


What are the other effects of a laxatives exactly? I've only known them to make you poop.

meaning, hopefully the laxatives only made her WANT to poop

KittehSayzRAWR 0

I feel bad for the janitor who has to clean it up!

Meh dentists have assistents he could just step back and laugh his ass off.

mandomandomando 3

hahah that's ****** disgusting! :)

**** the dentist's life. I feel really sorry for him/her, not for Op. :(

It's more of an fml for the dentist. He had to see/hear/smell all of that, while he looked into your germ filled mouth.

gusgus36 5

that sucks :( did you check how long the laxative keeps taking effect? if you took it in the evening and had a morning appointment it seems like a no-brainer that it's a bad idea..

I guess the dentist charged the shit out of him.

ulicksam 0

Wrong. Nothing you eat will take that long to affect you in any way. It only takes 4 hours to pass through your system.

...unless you're a human being. If your gastrointestinal transit time is four hours, you might want to go see a doctor.

Zeb is correct. It takes 30-40 hours for food to get through the colon.