Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's 1 year old. FML

#21360646
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33386) - you deserved it (2331)

On 02/21/2015 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML

#21360466
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33010) - you deserved it (3904)

On 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm - misc - by poncho55 (woman) -

Today, I found out the hard way that blood-filled deer ticks can look a lot like black jelly beans. FML

#21360309
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30169) - you deserved it (7581)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom told me that, even though my brother sells drugs, he's still her favorite child. FML

#21359996
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32996) - you deserved it (2736)

On 02/20/2015 at 7:35pm - misc - by pissed - United States (Illinois)

Today, some popped-collar wearing shitbird tried to pick me up with the line, "You look like Marilyn Monroe's corpse! Wanna fuck?" FML

#21359908
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29752) - you deserved it (2487)

On 02/20/2015 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove alone for the first time since I passed my test. I kept getting weird looks from other drivers and got pulled over by a cop. He said I was clearly underage and was sure my license was fake. Almost half an hour later, he finally let me go. I hate having a baby-face. FML

#21359872
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30994) - you deserved it (2286)

On 02/20/2015 at 3:00pm - misc - by all tweened out (man) - Canada

Today, I tried to overcome my shyness by warmly greeting the bus driver while entering it. I instead blurted out really loudly the words of the song my iPod was playing. FML

#21359655
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19) - you deserved it (5791)

On 02/20/2015 at 3:12am - misc - by OzzyWannabee - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother moved in to my 2-bedroom apartment with me. She brought her boyfriend, 4 chihuahuas, and 2 birds with her. FML

#21359436
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30310) - you deserved it (4432)

On 02/19/2015 at 8:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my extremely hot coworker told me that I smelled good. At a complete loss for words, I replied, "Oh, I'm sure I don't." FML

#21359386
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27473) - you deserved it (4816)

On 02/19/2015 at 7:14pm - misc - by thisiswhyimavirgin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, whilst walking to a primary school to give pupils a lesson on cleanliness, I tripped and landed on a dog turd. FML

#21359149
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26481) - you deserved it (2749)

On 02/19/2015 at 11:06am - misc - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I tried to stage an intervention for a friend who abuses drugs. I ended up with my hair on fire. FML

#21359096
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28864) - you deserved it (3643)

On 02/19/2015 at 8:34am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, a photo of my friends and me was posted in our college group. I didn't notice my legs looked enormous until my friend pointed it out. Her comment got 50 likes. FML

#21358355
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28519) - you deserved it (2818)

On 02/17/2015 at 11:22pm - misc - by ImNotFat - New Zealand

Today, I told my cousin that I would gladly help him through the loss of my aunt. That is until he started flirting with me. FML

#21358332
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29355) - you deserved it (2273)

On 02/17/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by whateven333 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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