Today, I used the self-checkout for the first time. I didn't see a slot for bills, so I tried to put them in the coin slot for a solid three minutes. There was a huge line behind me, silently judging. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the self-checkout line at Walmart. When I tried to pay, the cash wouldn't go in, so I stood there trying to cram money into the thing that's supposed to take your money. What I didn't realize was that there was a sign up top that said: "No Cash. Cards Only." FML
Today, I was using self-checkout at the grocery store, and the machine flipped out and started randomly announcing, "Please wait for assistance." No one came to help, but the machine just kept loudly repeating it until everyone stared at me like I was trying to steal grapes. FML
Today, I went to a self-checkout kiosk and it asked if I wanted to tip. For what? Watching myself scan groceries? I still ended up tipping 10% because I panicked. FML
Today, at a self-checkout, I scanned all my items, bagged them, and left. Only when I got outside did I realize I had completely forgotten to pay. I then noticed that security was running to stop me, and I had to explain that I wasn’t a thief, just an idiot. FML
Today, I was shopping at the grocery market and was next in line. Behind me was a woman who only had two items, so I nicely let her in front of me, as it looked like she was in a hurry. When she was all rung up, she decided to pay her $16.45 in loose change which needed to be counted out. FML
Today, I spent twenty minutes helping an elderly man figure out how to use the self-checkout. When we'd finished, he smiled, thanked me, then walked away… without paying for any of his groceries. The cashier assumed I was with him. FML
Today, I had to pay my bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, and somehow ended up jamming it. FML
Today, I went shopping on my only day off. The only aisle open was self-checkout. I'm a cashier. FML
Today, the self-checkout machine at the grocery store kept yelling, “PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING AREA” while I frantically tried to scan everything. An employee came over and said a bit too loudly, “Ma’am, you have to scan the condoms before bagging them.” Of course there were people around to giggle. FML
Today, I was waiting in line for what seemed like forever at the only open lane at the grocery store. The guy in front of me took his sweet time and had multiple cards rejected, before finally pulling out a $100 bill and demanding exact change. He was buying a carton of milk. FML
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Top comments
yeyeboys 20
YDI Wouldn't you know the difference between the size between a bill and a coin.
Welshite 40
That's when you drop everything and leave without saying a word.
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Comments (80)
yeyeboys 20
YDI Wouldn't you know the difference between the size between a bill and a coin.
cakefete2 31
This was just a coin-cidence. OP wasn't being dumb or trying to be a re-bill. OP just had one of those days and was hoping their persistence would "change" their luck.
Leo619 20
That was hilarious XD nice puns
x3jmac27 22
Whats funny about this FML is I was working self checkout yesterday and this old lady tried shoving coins into the cash slot. We had to open it up to get them out. Everyone makes mistakes OP don't worry about it (:
Wingman527 22
I agree with #2
smc3106 25
Nice name, OP. Notacashier, also could have used Notageniusoobviously. Lol
Carpenter_C 14
"Purse-instance" would've made the puns that much better.
Welshite 40
That's when you drop everything and leave without saying a word.
ForFudgeSake 6
They were learning too.
thatsawkward7 18
It's ok we've all had those moments.
StillUsesMyspace 22
Not me, I'm perfect.
ukeandfoodislife 19
Oh god. Who let the 10 year olds back onto this site?
ukeandfoodislife 19
I meant to send that to 11 oops:)
StillUsesMyspace 22
Oh god. Who let the people without a sense of humor onto this site?
thatsawkward7 18
He can't be 10 he still uses MySpace :p
TwentyFourBeerz 18
Not me either, those things are pretty much self explanatory.
1tsmenoah 20
My aunt thought one time that the lane bump things were brail for blind people when they drive :/. Not as bad as putting cash in a coin slot.
woainishamu 21
Fold the bills into tiny squares. Duh! (Sarcasm) :)
Respect101 17
wait you really mean you're not supposed to do that??? I hope no one tries to pay with change..
Saraishi 25
If it was a -coin- slot......
deebiedoobie 13
And no one behind you bothered to point out the correct slot for you?
Wingless_Heart 9
Nope. They were either calling him an idiot or deciding to help him or not.
184886837272837 32
why would you help? that would ruin the entertainment
kingdomgirl94 29
Some people also get really pissy if you try to help them because it hurts their pride. They'd rather hold up a line than admit that they needed help.
chelsearenaeee 16
Bystander affect.
unless 20
Bystander *Effect.
ukeandfoodislife 19
Aw OP. It's okay. One time I tried scanning a box of cereal and I didn't think if went through because it didn't beep.(it beeped for everything else) I stood there for a solid 2 minutes just buying it over and over again. Self-Checkouts are awful.
Mauskau 36
Check the screen it'll keep you updated ;)
MV3_Heat_Fan 13
Or you could look at the screen and see the item and price showed up a bunch of times
ukeandfoodislife 19
The screen was old and dim... The only reason I was using it was because the line was like 10 people long and I had to get back home to babysit my little brother haha(: but yeah it was stupid. I was rushed hah
tj4234 36
You know as a cashier I can tell you, you may not have been in the wrong. As the tills are never switched off and allowed to reset (they are even left on overnight) they develop weird glitches. This usually happens when the store is quite busy. It's quite rare, but one of the glitches is that the till scans an item multiple times. I once had it happen to me as an operator. The till scanned a box of washing up powder 50 times. Another cashier I know had a bag of oranges that scanned 1000 times... Coming to a total of just over £1000. Usually you wouldn't notice these things as operators fix them quickly. But it can happen.
LifeAlertTwerk 14
Your spelling is slightly "worrying."
ukeandfoodislife 19
I don't know if you meant "wrong" or "worrying". Regardless, your sentence was both.