Love: Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first...

By cheaters_should_die - 18/12/2009 14:31 - United States

Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 740

You deserved it 2 993

Love

Broken heart

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Supportive

By dimtsis - 29/07/2010 01:24 - Australia

Today, I had to go to counselling as my mother thinks I have an eating disorder. All because I didn't want to eat the crap supermarket lasagna she bought for $2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 543

You deserved it 4 151

By astraboy - 21/05/2009 09:11 - Australia

Today, I spent 3 hours making a birthday card for my boyfriend, delicately cutting each letter out of printed coloured paper. He used it as a coffee coaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 102

You deserved it 8 503

By justpeachy1989 - 26/05/2016 14:06 - Australia

Today, I finally tested out my new robot vacuum cleaner. My puppy decided she would test it out too by leaving a brown surprise for it to find, which it did. There are now brown marks in every room of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 938

You deserved it 1 636

By coop42 - 15/01/2014 19:22 - United States - Hortonville

Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 030

You deserved it 6 060

Facebook drama

By Anonymous - 05/03/2011 18:20 - United States

Today, due to my lagging browser, I accidentally "liked" a status my friend made about the deterioration of her relationship. Then, the computer froze, making it impossible to "unlike" it immediately. My friend won't accept that it was a mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 980

You deserved it 5 726

By janused - 18/02/2015 17:17 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my dad still refuses to repay the loan I gave him. I've just barely managed to pay my bills, and I'm now so poor that I'll have to survive the next 3 days until my next paycheck by eating the only thing left in my fridge: a jar of cheese whiz. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 840

You deserved it 3 614

Toxic masculinity

By Anonymous - 13/01/2021 09:01 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, it was one of those rare occasions I wore shorts. The first thing my male cousin said was, "Why so sexy?” Misogyny is why I don’t wear shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 648

By Anonymous - 04/03/2017 00:00

Today, my biology teacher asked the class a question, so I raised my hand and after I gave my answer, my teacher said, "You know, you have a voice for radio. It's very deep." I replied with "Do I? Thanks!" He added, "You also have the face for radio." The whole class laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 235

You deserved it 565

By Rumors - 12/12/2013 11:27 - United States - Turtle Lake

Today, a rumor was spread around that I was dating somebody. I confronted the person who everyone thought I was dating, and asked him about it. He also thought we were dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 591

You deserved it 6 084

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 20:00

Today, a girl came up to me on a club dance floor and said, “Shut up and dance with me,” like the song lyrics, only I fell over on her while dancing, and she dislocated her ankle. I don’t think this woman is gonna be my destiny after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 669

You deserved it 301

By Lorena - 21/04/2012 19:26 - United States - Kapolei

Today, just three days into a much-needed vacation, my 5-year-old daughter has come down with chickenpox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 018

You deserved it 3 212

By Anonymous - 11/10/2013 11:45 - United States - Monroe

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 409

You deserved it 2 700

By mareda - 01/02/2012 19:31 - United Kingdom

Today, I flew to England to visit my boyfriend, who has been working there for the past three months. I went to his hotel and waited for him; he never showed up. I called one of his colleagues to ask him what was going on. He had no idea what I was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 955

You deserved it 3 831

By embarrassed - 18/11/2010 02:31

Today, I auditioned for a part in a play. I've been practicing for months, and was very excited. After I finished singing, the director whispered something to the other judges, and they all laughed. Hard. So much for the lead role. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 727

You deserved it 3 418

By Anonymous - 14/08/2012 00:55 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, my son displayed an interest in chess, and asked me to teach him to play. Five minutes in, I captured his queen. He screamed "SCREW THIS STUPID GAME", slammed his fist down on his pieces, and started crying because of the pain. He's fourteen years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 967

You deserved it 4 639

By grampsisgay - 18/04/2009 00:46 - United States

Today, I was taking my boyfriend to the mall. In the parking lot I pointed out an old man in a vibrant pink sweater who was leaving by saying "He is so gay." My boyfriend got out of the car and walked towards the man calling "Hey Papaw!" It was his grandfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 234

You deserved it 79 960

By Username - 21/08/2011 09:59 - United States

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 731

You deserved it 7 877

By jkon - 04/08/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, I texted my girlfriend and told her I was mowing my lawn. She responded "it's about time, it keeps getting caught in my teeth!" I was referring to the lawn outside of my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 230

You deserved it 54 302

By Anonymous - 28/05/2013 16:51 - United States - Ozark

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 185

You deserved it 146 643

By me - 15/12/2013 01:49 - United States - West Babylon

Today, I managed to infect a clean computer with a virus while looking up info on how to rid my other computer of the same virus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 549

You deserved it 8 440

By familypet - 09/01/2016 03:09 - United States - Vista

Today, I overheard my parents talking about our family pet. Or at least I thought they were, until my mother exclaimed, "Honestly, I don't know why we keep her." Our dog is male. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 538

You deserved it 1 782

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 12:53 - United States

Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 478

You deserved it 4 228

By Anonymous - 16/12/2013 07:55

Today, I realized how bad my depression has gotten when I caught myself fantasizing about suicide while having sex with my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 809

You deserved it 7 389

By thesitter - 10/05/2009 13:18 - United States

Today, while babysitting, I gave the boy a pen and paper because he wanted to draw me. When he was done, he let me see but then said, "Wait! I'm not done." He took it back and basically colored in the arms. I said, "I'm not wearing long-sleeves." He said, "That's hair." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 254

You deserved it 8 135

By Anonymous - 11/03/2015 15:26 - United States

Today, I got in line for my flight to visit a friend in England. My mom was there to see me off, and decided to shout "No sex!" while waving, in front of at least a hundred people who will very likely be sharing the transatlantic flight with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 678

You deserved it 3 099

By that guy - 18/11/2014 00:19

Today, I failed my driving test before even leaving the DMV parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 631

You deserved it 30 890

By Damnsoup - 03/07/2009 00:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 099

You deserved it 6 943

By Anonymous - 07/12/2012 04:49 - United States - Moorhead

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 202

You deserved it 6 259

By ARGHHHH - 04/10/2018 05:00

Today, my mom ordered my birthday presents on eBay. Too bad she used my account, so when I went to look for ideas, everything she bought me popped up. It's so much stuff I don't want, need, or will ever use, and it's on my credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 366

You deserved it 329

By expassword - 17/12/2010 00:20 - United States

Today, I asked my wife for her computer password because my computer crashed. After minutes of begging she finally told me. Turns out that her password happens to be her ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 033

You deserved it 3 709

Huge fan of his work

By [email protected] - 25/02/2009 07:42 - Canada

Today, I forgot my work clothes at home, so my boss gave me a jacket with a name patch that said "Mike". Still wearing my work clothes, I ran into my ex-girlfriend on my way home. We were together for five years, until she dumped me for a guy name Mike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 147

You deserved it 4 343

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 22:19 - United States

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 941

You deserved it 54 372

The Big Book of Baby Names

By please don’t - 08/06/2020 02:00

Today, I had to explain to my sister in law why it’s a terrible idea to name her baby Aryan just because she likes the way it sounds. We’re all African Americans, but she still doesn’t see the issue with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 215

By Nikki - 30/05/2010 16:29 - Canada

Today, as a bridal shower gift, I got a "coupon" for 25% off divorce attorney fees. It was a collective gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 233

You deserved it 3 996

By UhOhhhh - 08/09/2009 17:29 - United States

Today, I woke up, took a shower, made some pasta, drank 3 glasses of water and brushed my teeth. I then left my apartment to see signs posted all over warning us not to use the water without boiling it because the water company just found E-coli in the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 806

You deserved it 4 285

By B_McG - 25/11/2009 18:31 - Canada

Today, I found out that my mother has been purposely wrecking every relationship I've had since junior high because ''no one is good enough for her little girl''. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 790

You deserved it 2 905

By Username - 15/12/2010 17:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I was listening to music while I wrapped Christmas presents. All was going well when the music was cut off, literally. I snipped the cable to my very expensive headphones in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 186

You deserved it 34 949

By Anonymous - 02/06/2011 07:26 - United States

Today, I applied for a dental insurance that claims "you cannot be denied". I was denied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 887

You deserved it 3 504

By sadface - 03/02/2010 11:58 - France

Today, I found out that I'm not actually pregnant. I've apparently been having a hysterical pregnancy because I want a child so badly. I don't know which was worse, the look of relief on my husband's face or having to send a mass email to inform my family and friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 981

You deserved it 9 072

By fatty - 03/08/2010 22:37 - United States

Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 053

You deserved it 7 390

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments