Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first... - FML

By cheaters_should_die - United States

Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML

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I CAN HEAR YOU

Misheard

Alexa, play "Boredom" by Buzzcocks

By Quasimodo - Norway - Ytre Arna

Today, I was pushed off of a glacier by a very angry tourist. Why? I work as a glacier guide, and apparently some people find it overly frustrating to be informed that there isn't a café on the glacier. FML

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By failfailfail - United Kingdom

Today, I had a big exam. 20 minutes in I could feel people turning round looking at me. I ignored them at first, but towards the one hour mark it got more distracting. I stood up and yelled "Why's everyone staring at me!" I got kicked out. Turns out I was seated directly in front of the clock. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I gave my cat a little kiss on the head. Just as I was about to tell him I love him, he sneezed directly into my face. It's been two hours and I still can't get the taste of cat snot out of my mouth. I probably need to get a life. FML

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By John - United States

Today, I took my 15 year old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML

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By mclovin09 - United States

Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML

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By ILoveAnimals - Austria - Vienna

Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML

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By Grounded - United States

Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML

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By damnedbydurberg - United States

Today, after years of torment and relentless harassment, I finally built up the courage to stand up to a bully. I got a detention for swearing at him. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, an hour after telling me she wasn't in mood for sex, my girlfriend called me to help her get a cucumber out of her ass. FML

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By tLee - Canada

Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she was spending so much time on my neck it finally hit me. She was frantically and secretly trying to remove the gum she got stuck in my hair. She failed. FML

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By denting-and-venting - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found a parking spot in front of my work. I parked and another car pulled into the spot just in front of me. The next thing I know, the car in front backs up and slams into my car. Turns out she didn't notice the fire hydrant next to her spot and screamed at me cause I, "stole her spot." FML

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By ziatenaj - United States

Today, at work, I was trying to repeat an order back to this guy, when his drunk girlfriend started to interrupt me. Whenever I would open my mouth, she would say "Blah blah blah." Literally. Eventually, I gave up. I got his order wrong, and got yelled at by my manager for not repeating his order. FML

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By Liz - United States - Salt Lake City

He Tried?

Today, I told my soon-to-be-ex that he never does anything for the kids, and hasn't contributed a dime. He showed up with a half a gallon of milk and a box of cereal. Not what I meant. FML

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By Thalassophobic - United States

Today, I went to the beach. I was in the ocean and I looked over my shoulder and saw a big black spot. Knowing that there were big crabs on the beach, I screamed. Everyone in the water heard including the lifeguards. It turns out it was just my shadow. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - American Canyon

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

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By I said whaat

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

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By storyteller - United States - Elkhart

Today, I noticed I've been an Amazon Prime member for 2 years and never knew. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a party where I met some nice girls. One of them was really sweet and we were having a great time in my friend's backyard. As I was on the swing, I was gonna give her my number, but instead, I gave her a harsh kick to the face. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/9/2020 18:02 - United States - Gillette

Not now, mom!

Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML

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By oops999 - United States - Downingtown

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

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By Screwed - United States

Today, I went to see my guidance counselor. I was supposed to hear from my college about a scholarship by October 3rd. I was worried since it was already the 2nd so I went to talk to her. She never turned in my nomination. Goodbye $80,000 scholarship. FML

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By ewww - 5/7/2020 17:01

Got game

Today, I went to visit my grandma at her old folks’ home. The soup she got for lunch was cold so I took it to the dining room to heat it up. As I put it in the microwave, a slow clap started behind me. I had to stand and wait for soup to heat while being wolf-whistled by a bunch of grandpas. FML

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By Homeless? - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I have been vomiting for 4 days. Tomorrow, my landlord is insisting on inspecting my flat. I now either have to clean my house whilst trying not to throw up all around it, or fail my inspection. FML

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By LivingBroke

Sorry mate, you're on your own

Today, I signed the lease for a flat that a mate and I decided to move into. About five minutes after leaving the renting agency, I received a text from my mate saying he couldn't move in with me after all. I am now the happy tenant of a large inner city flat that I can't afford. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my family and I went over to our new neighbors' house, to sing a carol and say hello. The only response we got was a door slammed in our faces. FML

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By oh no - 18/4/2020 02:00

What Mötley Crüe call "Breakfast"

Today, I think all those jokes my wife made about becoming an alcoholic during quarantine may be true. She came back from the weekly shopping today with 7 bottles of wine, a bottle of tequila and a 30-pack of beer. FML

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By Julieworld - 24/4/2020 08:00

Recycling helps

Today, I was able to find the Facebook profile of my ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend, for whom he left me for. I had been curious about who she was, and when I zoomed in on her profile pic of them together, I noticed she was wearing the ring he'd got me for Christmas and that I'd given back to him. FML

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By Eddie - Israel

Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML

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By Samsonites - United States

Today, I finally decided to tell him I love him. He told me that he loved me too... like a sister! The love of my life has been sleeping with his "sister" for three months. FML

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By Tipless - United States

Today, I was working as a Valet driver. After getting no customers for 5 hours in the pouring rain, a woman driving by stops and asks me for directions. Before leaving, she said, "I should probably tip you for that, since that's probably the only money you'd get all night." She didn't. FML

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By sadmama

Today, I found out that while my mother-in-law claimed to be babysitting my son, she was actually dropping him off at an unlicensed “day care” in a shady part of town so she could go out. How did I find out? The house was raided by police. FML

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By Boyufd - 30/7/2020 23:01

The Dark Knight

Today, I noticed my acne scars are almost forming the Batman symbol. FML

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By Wellthisishawkward - United States

Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML

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By anony - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

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By apparentlythereisnokarma - Canada - Didsbury

Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML

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By save the koalas? uhh - Australia - Brisbane

Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML

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By brokebihhhh - United States

Today, I decided to catch a flight to see my boyfriend, who is stationed in the army 300 miles away. When I was just 15 minutes from the base he called to say that we should break up. Now I'm heading back to California, single and broke. FML

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By sneezer - France

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

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By Dig4life - United States - Kent

Today, after telling my mom that I'll be going to Las Vegas with my dad for my 21st birthday, she started ranting about how my dad always wanted to abort me and that she was the only one who actually wanted me. FML

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By WTF? - United States - Mesa

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." and walked off. FML

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Top comments

By blalien | 0

#725988 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:44

Your wife's a slut and an idiot. There were a million excuses she could have made for why that car was there.

By mleblanc | 0

#725969 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:32

Lol, what a terrible way to figure out. FYL.

COMMENTS

By leoofbodom | 0

#725965 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:31

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

zenti | 2

#725989 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:44

You could say the same thing about just about every fml that gets posted here.

Reply

voodootrucker | 0

#726119 - Friday 18 December 2009 22:12

damn leo was it your car at his house

Reply

YDI_King | 0

#726131 - Friday 18 December 2009 22:25

YD better

Reply

girlygirl666 | 0

#726137 - Friday 18 December 2009 22:28

Haha yep, I agree with you Voodoo.

Reply

schwinn11 | 0

#726147 - Friday 18 December 2009 22:37

Leo had the same thing happen to him, except instead of google maps, he seen his wife in a girls gone wild video. So try not to be to hard on him

Reply

The_Pleb | 0

#726159 - Friday 18 December 2009 22:48

And i was in the video drinking champagne whilst the girls and his wife kissed my feet

Reply

randomdude1234 | 0

#726404 - Saturday 19 December 2009 1:30

Fail logic is fail. Just cause there's a car in the driveway doesn't mean the whole world knows about the affair. How the F are they supposed to recognize the car?

Reply

BritishHobo | 0

#726651 - Saturday 19 December 2009 5:50

It was a joke line to end the FML. Don't think he was imagining some Eskimos huddled round a little computer going 'ha! that guy's wife is cheating on him and he doesn't even know!'
Though that would be awesome.

Reply

sillypiper | 0

#840486 - Wednesday 10 February 2010 8:01

fuck I'd be proud! not easy getting on that show'

Reply

Secret_Fire_King | 0

#865276 - Wednesday 17 February 2010 12:35

What does OP mean "the whole world knew".. I really don't remember googling your street, OP.. but, if I did, I'm sure I'd remember.. 'Cause your problems are my top priority..

Reply

courtney680 | 17

#1968638 - Saturday 15 January 2011 6:16

probably lol

By mleblanc | 0

#725969 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:32

Lol, what a terrible way to figure out. FYL.

Reply

tam_tiger | 0

#726106 - Friday 18 December 2009 21:48

I thought you couldn't see cars on google I looked at my house and there were no cars around it. Nor any part of my town =/ so yahhh

Reply

Boddmon | 0

#726116 - Friday 18 December 2009 22:10

plate numbers are blurred but the actual car still appears.
perhaps no1 was home when the google car came by your house.
I see my car in my driveway.

By phuckface | 0

#725970 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:33

hahah i think leoofbodom is upset because so many people are getting caught cheating this way

By lexi_cacao | 0

#725972 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:34

that's terrible... I'm so sorry

By diet_otaku | 0

#725975 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:36

no they didn't, because the entire world doesn't know what your car actually looks like.

Reply

ZombieKnickers_fml | 8

#726011 - Friday 18 December 2009 20:00

You take things too literally. It's worded like this to make us laugh as well as pity him. He obviously didn't actually think the entire world knew.

By CallMeHush | 0

#725979 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:39

I bet at first you thought that she bought a hot new car to surprise you on you anniversary huh?

By allstate68rt | 0

#725981 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:39

Fuck that bitch.

Reply

xer096 | 7

#6265308 - Friday 17 April 2015 18:29

Someone's got that covered it looks like

By fmycheese | 0

#725983 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:41

Crap, never thought I'd be caught.

By i_luv_cheese | 0

#725987 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:43

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

wolfpackchick10 | 0

#726022 - Friday 18 December 2009 20:12

I know I do

Reply

synix | 0

#726048 - Friday 18 December 2009 20:45

ditto

Reply

girlygirl666 | 0

#726141 - Friday 18 December 2009 22:31

Me, too.

Reply

newsgit | 0

#726600 - Saturday 19 December 2009 4:43

I knew. I knew the he house OP grew up in, too.

Reply

jojocircus19 | 16

#6520056 - Tuesday 26 January 2016 7:20

Wait so that's not normal?

By blalien | 0

#725988 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:44

Your wife's a slut and an idiot. There were a million excuses she could have made for why that car was there.

Reply

Six_and_the_Moon | 3

#728713 - Sunday 20 December 2009 19:08

It's likely that she wanted to come clean and it gave her the opportunity to do so. I'm sure she could have lied about it, but figured it was time. That still makes her a selfish whore, but not necessarily an idiot.

And OP, ♥ your name.

Reply

Hoopachi | 19

#6277547 - Thursday 30 April 2015 2:58

At least she was honest.