Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first... - FML

By cheaters_should_die - 18/12/2009 14:31 - United States

Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML

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Work name

Compassion

Night terrors

By lifedoessuck12 - 19/7/2009 14:13 - Philippines

Today, I had to wait outside Starbucks. While standing, I started day dreaming and didn't notice I had been staring at a table beside the window for a long time. Suddenly, someone went up to me and said "Try not to be so obvious". Sitting at the table was a girl with a huge cleavage. FML

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By McFired - 23/3/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, I got fired from my job for harassing customers over the weekend. I didn't work over the weekend. I left my nametag there on Friday and my co-workers thought it would be funny to wear my nametag all weekend. One of them got into a fight with a customer and they took her 'name' down. FML

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By GoldenTornado11 - 10/5/2017 14:00

Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML

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By JacktheRussian - 8/4/2013 00:33 - United States

Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/8/2018 15:00

Today, UPS delivered my kinky sex toys to my ex-husband. Apparently the delivery went wrong so they sent it to the last known address. He called to say he got my "package" and I had to go pick it up. FML

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By abc123 - 16/12/2013 16:44 - United States - Marysville

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

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By Anonymous. - 31/12/2010 05:23 - United States

Today, the guy I've been texting told me he loved me and he couldn't wait to make me his wife, and he couldn't wait for us to have kids and grow old together. I've only known him for 3 days. FML

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By sadinthesack - 31/8/2009 18:56 - United States

Today, I was making love to my girlfriend and was pretty impressed with myself for lasting through multiple songs. Then I realized her ipod was playing a medley. I only lasted 3 1/2 minutes. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/11/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, I was lost in a new town, so I asked a woman for directions. For some reason, she seemed to avoid me. About halfway down the block, she quickly turned around, and the next thing I remember is my eyes stinging like hell. Apparently she thought I was a mugger and maced me. FML

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By SierraCheyenne - 30/4/2013 01:57 - United States - Hannibal

Today, my parents finally got married. At the after-party, my mother got drunk and informed me that even though she and my father were now married, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a bastard. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/8/2009 00:14 - United States

Today, I found out that I'm immune to laughing gas and partially immune to novocaine while I was getting two teeth pulled. FML

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By forever alone - 19/6/2014 22:26 - United States - Pawling

Today, I was video chatting my boyfriend. As we were talking, he answered a phone call. I sat there the whole time as he planned a date with some other girl over the phone. FML

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By alone and horny - 20/6/2020 20:01

Some people just don't like surprises

Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. When I started to head back in, I saw a shadow move across my bedroom window. I live alone, so I waited outside and called the police. They came and investigated, only to drag my naked boyfriend out, where he promptly dumped me. I forgot our 2-year anniversary. FML

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By friend - 29/6/2012 20:48 - Israel - Rishon Le Zion

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML

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By fatty - 3/8/2010 22:37 - United States

Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML

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By toelie - 6/11/2017 22:00

Oh the times, they are a-changin'

Today, as two of my students walked into my classroom, I said, "Hi, ladies". One of them screamed at me: "Did you just assume my gender?!" FML

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By Mom - 11/6/2011 17:25 - United States

Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML

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By Jedi2500 - 15/2/2012 23:53 - United States

Today, as I was leaving for work, I discovered my neighbor had just passed away. I found out when I came across his body lying in my front yard. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/2/2016 19:21 - United States - Boise

Today, I now know what it feels like to violently sneeze while a nurse still has a needle in your arm. FML

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By Marcowalker95 - 7/8/2012 04:16 - United States - Panorama City

Today, I was at a gas station when the cash register made a sound effect similar to one from Sonic the Hedgehog, and I pointed this out. The cashier then saw fit to go on a rant about how I need to stop focusing on video games, and get a life and a girlfriend. FML

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By burgeee - 18/3/2010 10:24 - United Kingdom

Today, the love of my life sent me a text saying "touch my pork". Somehow I don't think my feelings are mutual. FML

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By Dead Inside - 3/12/2018 07:30 - United States - Elkhart

Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/6/2009 16:34 - United States

Today, I got fired from a large oil and energy service company after 5 and 1/2 months. The interview process to land the job took 8 months. My interview process was longer than my job. FML

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By Authentik8 - 16/9/2011 22:10 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that one of my university flatmates arrived early for Freshers Week, and had a party which involved the place being trashed. I'm going to lose some of my deposit for damage caused before I even arrived. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/7/2011 19:46 - United States

Today, a riot broke out while I was on shift at the community swimming pool. A family snuck in soap so they could use the pool as a giant bath tub. FML

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By Scarlet - 9/8/2016 18:01

Today, after calling my bank to see where my paycheck was, and waiting on hold for my entire lunch break, my boss told me she forgot to submit my deposit. I was relying on that money to pay for lunch today as I used all I had for bills. Looks like I eat tomorrow. FML

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By Sebastian20 - 8/5/2013 11:05 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

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By c*nt - 13/4/2012 23:14 - Canada - London

Today, I was Skyping with this kid, when his girlfriend started arguing with him. They do this every other week, and there was a bet on when they'd finally break up. I egged the guy on and told him not to take her shit. She ended up dumping him. Now I feel like an asshole, and all for a lousy $20. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/12/2014 02:04 - United States - Yorktown

Today, I was home alone when I heard the carbon-monoxide detector beeping. Panicking, I grabbed my dog, ran out of my house as fast as I could, and waited outside for 3 hours for my mom to get home. Turned out the detector was just out of batteries. FML

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By - 24/2/2020 18:00

I miss him

Today, after a 6 month dry spell, my husband was yet again “too tired” to have sex. I guess I finally found something I miss about my ex. FML

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By dukemisery - 12/12/2016 09:33 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, after being trapped in an elevator for 4 hours, I really had to pee. Just when I decided to pee in the elevator shaft, the lift doors opened. FML

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By petty petty petty - 8/9/2017 16:00

Today, my mom yelled at me for fighting with my younger brother. Not because she wanted us to stop, but because my brother couldn't find a good comeback to my argument. FML

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By nobody - 28/2/2016 01:36 - United States - Petaluma

Today, my best friend said we couldn't be friends anymore because I'm too depressed or too happy all the time. After explaining for half an hour what bipolar depression was and how I have it he just said, "Bullshit!" FML

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By Anonymous - 7/9/2019 02:02

Boom, headshot!

Today, my boyfriend headbutted me during sex. This wouldn't be so bad if it was the first time. FML

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By Charlie8u347 - 29/12/2010 20:26 - United States

Today, I was told to shovel four inches of snow from my driveway. I had to get the snow shovel from the rafters of my garage, and there were other tools with it. As I was yanking the shovel down, a pickax fell and smashed through the back window of my dad's Buick. FML

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By pootythe5th - 30/8/2009 18:09 - United States

Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML

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By Need Help - 5/10/2017 16:30 - United States - Victorville

Today, my grandma went for a walk after being told that she has a bad heart and a fall could be fatal. She fell, fracturing both wrists, and is now in casts and can't do anything herself. Turned out it was only fatal to my college semester. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/5/2012 07:42 - United States - Fresno

Today, I had three things converge that should never be together: my period, hot doctor, and a colonoscopy. FML

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By countrygirl8846 - 2/12/2015 15:02 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I went to pick up some pictures I took on a family trip, but the person at the counter said someone else had already picked them up. Now not only am I out $20, some random creep has pictures of me and my whole family. FML

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By bm128902 - 1/10/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was going around saying that she tries to give time off to the other managers so they can spend time with their family and significant others. She looked at me and said she doesn't for me because I have no one special to spend time with. FML

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Top comments

By blalien | 0

#725988 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:44

Your wife's a slut and an idiot. There were a million excuses she could have made for why that car was there.

By mleblanc | 0

#725969 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:32

Lol, what a terrible way to figure out. FYL.

COMMENTS

By leoofbodom | 0

#725965 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:31

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

zenti | 2

#725989 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:44

You could say the same thing about just about every fml that gets posted here.

Reply

voodootrucker | 0

#726119 - Friday 18 December 2009 22:12

damn leo was it your car at his house

Reply

YDI_King | 0

#726131 - Friday 18 December 2009 22:25

YD better

Reply

girlygirl666 | 0

#726137 - Friday 18 December 2009 22:28

Haha yep, I agree with you Voodoo.

Reply

schwinn11 | 0

#726147 - Friday 18 December 2009 22:37

Leo had the same thing happen to him, except instead of google maps, he seen his wife in a girls gone wild video. So try not to be to hard on him

Reply

The_Pleb | 0

#726159 - Friday 18 December 2009 22:48

And i was in the video drinking champagne whilst the girls and his wife kissed my feet

Reply

randomdude1234 | 0

#726404 - Saturday 19 December 2009 1:30

Fail logic is fail. Just cause there's a car in the driveway doesn't mean the whole world knows about the affair. How the F are they supposed to recognize the car?

Reply

BritishHobo | 0

#726651 - Saturday 19 December 2009 5:50

It was a joke line to end the FML. Don't think he was imagining some Eskimos huddled round a little computer going 'ha! that guy's wife is cheating on him and he doesn't even know!'
Though that would be awesome.

Reply

sillypiper | 0

#840486 - Wednesday 10 February 2010 8:01

fuck I'd be proud! not easy getting on that show'

Reply

Secret_Fire_King | 0

#865276 - Wednesday 17 February 2010 12:35

What does OP mean "the whole world knew".. I really don't remember googling your street, OP.. but, if I did, I'm sure I'd remember.. 'Cause your problems are my top priority..

Reply

courtney680 | 17

#1968638 - Saturday 15 January 2011 6:16

probably lol

By mleblanc | 0

#725969 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:32

Lol, what a terrible way to figure out. FYL.

Reply

tam_tiger | 0

#726106 - Friday 18 December 2009 21:48

I thought you couldn't see cars on google I looked at my house and there were no cars around it. Nor any part of my town =/ so yahhh

Reply

Boddmon | 0

#726116 - Friday 18 December 2009 22:10

plate numbers are blurred but the actual car still appears.
perhaps no1 was home when the google car came by your house.
I see my car in my driveway.

By phuckface | 0

#725970 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:33

hahah i think leoofbodom is upset because so many people are getting caught cheating this way

By lexi_cacao | 0

#725972 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:34

that's terrible... I'm so sorry

By diet_otaku | 0

#725975 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:36

no they didn't, because the entire world doesn't know what your car actually looks like.

Reply

ZombieKnickers_fml | 8

#726011 - Friday 18 December 2009 20:00

You take things too literally. It's worded like this to make us laugh as well as pity him. He obviously didn't actually think the entire world knew.

By CallMeHush | 0

#725979 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:39

I bet at first you thought that she bought a hot new car to surprise you on you anniversary huh?

By allstate68rt | 0

#725981 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:39

Fuck that bitch.

Reply

xer096 | 7

#6265308 - Friday 17 April 2015 18:29

Someone's got that covered it looks like

By fmycheese | 0

#725983 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:41

Crap, never thought I'd be caught.

By i_luv_cheese | 0

#725987 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:43

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

wolfpackchick10 | 0

#726022 - Friday 18 December 2009 20:12

I know I do

Reply

synix | 0

#726048 - Friday 18 December 2009 20:45

ditto

Reply

girlygirl666 | 0

#726141 - Friday 18 December 2009 22:31

Me, too.

Reply

newsgit | 0

#726600 - Saturday 19 December 2009 4:43

I knew. I knew the he house OP grew up in, too.

Reply

jojocircus19 | 16

#6520056 - Tuesday 26 January 2016 7:20

Wait so that's not normal?

By blalien | 0

#725988 - Friday 18 December 2009 19:44

Your wife's a slut and an idiot. There were a million excuses she could have made for why that car was there.

Reply

Six_and_the_Moon | 3

#728713 - Sunday 20 December 2009 19:08

It's likely that she wanted to come clean and it gave her the opportunity to do so. I'm sure she could have lied about it, but figured it was time. That still makes her a selfish whore, but not necessarily an idiot.

And OP, ♥ your name.

Reply

Hoopachi | 19

#6277547 - Thursday 30 April 2015 2:58

At least she was honest.