Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Today, I woke up and found that the tree in my front yard was gone. FML
Today, I finally went to Home Depot to buy a chainsaw to cut down the tree leaning dangerously over my garage. When I got home, I found the tree had fallen and taken out the roof while I was shopping. FML
Today, I found out that my parents used all of the college money I have been saving up for 8 years to buy a beach house. The reason they waited until now to tell me? A tree fell on it, and they need more money for repairs. FML
Today, I was rummaging about in the pantry. When I turned to walk away, the heavy pantry door fell off, struck me in the back of the head, and the wood surrounding the doorknob cracked. When my mom came home, she accused me of "property damage." FML
Today, my Mom and I found out that we're allergic to the wood my Dad has been making fires with. She can't see, I can't breathe. FML
Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML
Today, I was taking my architecture project to school. I'd spent days preparing my little model house. I stepped outside with it in my hand, and right at that moment a gust of wind ripped it away. It's currently lying in my neighbour's garden, smashed to pieces. FML
Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML
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Top comments
NoOneCaresReally 8
You will, your mum's obviously the next noah!
xactownife 7
She doesn't have very long to build her boat :o
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Comments (62)
NoOneCaresReally 8
You will, your mum's obviously the next noah!
Airman1988 9
Next she is going to be collecting all the pairs of animals for this ark she is building. I know where she can find a few jackasses.
RvidxrKlvn 8
No-ah she ain't.
Ddevon 4
Why wood she do that
mynamesnoah 6
Heheh. Mynamesnoah.
JocelynKaulitz 28
Watch when the world decides to end with termites.
imaginaryvoice 18
It's the end of the world, so you decide to build a boat? Unless her boat can withstand all end of the world possibilities, I'm not sure I follow this.
N3766 20
I thought it will be zombie apocalypse, not just a flood....
oj101 33
Everyone thought Noah was crazy at first, so get the hell on her boat!
lolfood 24
The world didn't end today.
xactownife 7
She doesn't have very long to build her boat :o
Stealthed 8
I'd question the structural integrity of a boat built by someone who cut up the family dining table for "wood". Better let her test it first I think.
woodless_fml 9
#2, You are right, she doesn't, but until today she has been "analyzing the movie 2012 on how to survive and thinks that a boat is the best way" FML
wickedninja918 1
If I were you I'd tell her to go to the nearest home depot.
Bibliovore 26
#15 -- Not to mention someone who took the legs but left the big flat table part. *wry grin*
Harpy20 24
Did she take your husband too?
BrimfullOfAsher 20
Save a good two-by-four to smack her the next time that she tries to come into your house.
NzaHaFML 13
You should tell her that another part of the Mayan calendar was found
camsterjoe 12
But it only applies to those that haven't chopped up furniture.
tigerisabelle 31
#9 - She should say that it only applies to those who aren't insane. Cuz, y'know... she's insane LOL
equin0xx 6
Oh so thats what she ment when she said she wanted your dad's wood last night!
MrForgetable 0
Hahaha, I laughed my ass off! Thanks for making my day!
equin0xx 6
You are welcome. :)
malfanese 6
Guess she really needed some wood... Too bad she wanted yours.
NigerianMedicine 11
That is wrong on so many levels.
Skinwalker131 5
Well at least you'll never worry about a flood...
CanCann 16
Time to take back her key.
gmaniac93 7
HAHA lol your moms psycho!!!
lilhellian 27
Sigh.. *bang* Put him back in the woodwork.
CharresBarkrey 16
Is it completely necessary for a "haha" and an "lol" to follow each other like that?
Sandsh8rk 36
Also, you're.
CharresBarkrey 16
78 - Really? You are moms psycho?
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Listen to your mother she Noahs best!
BunchieRules 31
I sea what you did there. Unfortunately, in the case of a flood, I don't think OP wood want to put his life in the hands of his crazy mom.
shushu26 20
Her*
BunchieRules 31
32 - Apologies. I obviously didn't know what I was talking a-boat. I now predict a tidal wave of thumbs down.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Why didn't sea just ask me? I Noah guy who wood help her out.
mercsl65 7
Haha I just read the post with the woods and seas an whatnot. Funny! U made my face move
luminos77 3
Fail. Sea doesn't sound like she.
LolFMLnot 10
The world is not gonna end. Once your mom realizes that you can have a laugh about it with your dad