Today, I was rummaging about in the pantry. When I turned to walk away, the heavy pantry door fell off, struck me in the back of the head, and the wood surrounding the doorknob cracked. When my mom came home, she accused me of "property damage." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after sweeping up a spill, I managed to break the cupboard door. With my head. FML
Today, I opened a cupboard and a brick fell on my head. The same brick my mum put up there to "keep it out of the way". FML
Today, I went downstairs after a family argument. The front door was kicked in, the sink faucet was snapped off, and there were broken plates all over the kitchen floor. I later found out that the argument was over who left the refrigerator door open. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML
Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML
Today, I accidentally left the pantry open. My narcissistic mother’s response was to spit on me and tell me to kill myself. FML
Today, I decided to be productive and clean behind my couch. I found dust, old receipts, and one sock I thought was stolen by the universe. When I stood up proudly, I smashed my head on the shelf above. I knocked down three picture frames. All shattered. FML
Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML
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Comments (1)
RichardPencil 32
Well, you were there and property got damaged. Your mom must be some kind of super-sleuth to establish such an obvious cause-and-effect relationship.