Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML
Today, a kid threw a rock at a beehive while my friend and I where standing next to it. It fell down, and a swarm of slightly displeased bees assumed that we were the culprit. Knowing what was about to happen, my friend and I ran for our lives. He ran fast enough to escape; I didn't. The kid, the actual culprit, didn't get attacked. FML
Today, I made a joke about my electric lawnmower sounding like a bunch of angry bees. It was verified when I ran over a beehive in my backyard. FML
Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML
Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML
Today, I saved a honey bee from drowning in our pool. It promptly stung me and died. FML
Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML
Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML
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Top comments
supimnyancat 9
I pressed YDI after I read "Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest."
BountyBass 13
And so you should
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Comments (305)
swimmerstud 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well you should, because you are. I hope you get stung by a thousand bees.
Lauren10102 3
I don't think I would wish that unkindness on anyone, not even the most heinous of humans :( That sounds terrible.
jizzwold 21
Well he would be dead... Unless op is a honey badger.
Tweekz14 5
YDI more then the dumb ass who crashed into a cop while talking on the phone.
alexup24 13
I don't wanna sound like a total ignorant prick who can't read, but OP's neighbors are dead right?
rallets 23
^ thats what i gathered from it, yes. killer bees murdered his neighbors
Satirical 7
It doesn't say anywhere that they were killer bees, nor does it say that the neighbors died. However, I suppose that's the most relatively vague deduction you can make from this FML, since the word used was "slaughtered", but the OP might have been exaggerating that slightly. OP, go get stung by a bee. Do it. Right now. Yes, go outside, find a beehive, and stick your hand in it. That's the only way to do yourself justice.
Calyx_fml 22
Last time I checked slaughtered means killed.
Cad6 24
^meant*
SpicyDuck 22
In all fairness I don't think he planned for the bees to attach his neighbors. However there are better ways to rid of bees nests.
XxWolvesBitexX 8
Don't you think thats a little over the line there?
alexup24 13
88- I hope you mean attack, because having bees attached to you would suck.
emogiggles 0
100 it wouldn't suck it would sting
abunger90 0
your neighbors fault for not having screens in their windows.
colliebuddz420 7
As soon as I read the first sentence I knew this would get my ydi
darkthunder_fml 1
78-pretty sure slaughtered still means kill, so past tense is not neccesary. And 76, you realize it could have been exaggeration right? It doesn't matter what the litteral definition is.
obeliks 4
How does this make u any better??
ngarcia333 0
I sure would. What a waste of oxygen. Don't mess with nature. What the h*** did the bees do to him?
HollyDolly660 8
I agree with 88. Obviously OP isn't the most friendly to other creatures, but I don't necessarily think he deserves to feel so shitty. How was he to know what the bees would do in that situation. I would probably do the same thing. I hate bees.
ragglefraggle 2
@18 If he were a honey badger he wouldn't be posting this because HONEY BADGER DON'T GIVE A SHIT.
Luunatic 13
Rude..
WTF_BRAIN 11
#18 even if he would get stung by literally a thousand bees, assuming they are the most common honey bees, within a short timespan, say an hour, that'd still not be lethal to a healthy grown person.
BountyBass 13
And so you should
d_unsub 12
Yes he should, but assuming he did not do it on purpose I think we can say he is just an unintentional dick.
cheaptrix 6
What possessed OP to do something so stupid?
norotors 16
Nothing to say to this one except rofl. :D
DrDilllonReese 12
He doesn't have to be a dick. This is more of a jackass.
mintstashinurtea 5
why should he? it's not like he told the bees to do that...
happle 21
20-He's still a dick for shooting at innocent bees. What did they ever do besides pollenate your flowers and make you honey? They only sting when provoked anyway.
Mommyof2_91 10
189- personally I would want to remove a bees nest from my yard, yes I know bees do good but since I have a child who is almost 2, I would not want to take that chance.
thesunsetglow_fml 8
So you're saying you would willingly shoot the nest down with a paintball gun as the best way to be rid of the best...?
Mommyof2_91 10
216- No I didn't say I'd shoot it down, I said I would remove it.
Mommyof2_91 10
I would first find a way to get rid of the bees (products intended for the removal of bees.) After it was safe I would then remove the nest. My second option would be to hire somebody to take care of them for me.
cajekraze 7
This is actually hilarious and terrible all at the same time
happle 21
214-That would be a more humane thing to do.. I wouldn't trust a 2-year-old around bees either, so I would find a new place for them rather than shoot at them.
Mommyof2_91 10
238- sorry to say, but in order to remove them it might require them dying. Unless the professional had a way to relocate them, but I doubt that even if he could, he would.
OL_What_FER 1
Exactly how is this.an fml
OHai15 12
Well OP, I hope you weren't expecting to feel like Superman after the event....fuggin twinkle-douche.....
Rhysviri 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You... You monster. ;_____; did you apologize?
ycrem0n 21
It's too late to apologize, it's too late.
lolfood 24
I said it' s too late...
StanSmith_fml 9
To apolagizzzzzze
TheGewt 7
It's not too late, it's never too late..
keyboo 0
To turn back now I believe I believe I believe we're falling in love
laxbrosive 4
dead. ^
rainshower7 0
Good job genius..
youjustmademelol 4
^ oh look a bunch of bugs that could painfully harm and kill me, I'm gonna hit them with a paintball!!!! Are you retarded? I'm gonna get thumbed down now?
SpringDiver 6
Shooting a bees nest is the one of the most stupidest things I have read on here.
RussianFox 13
72- If you knew you posted a ridiculous comment and then predicted the thumbs down, why did you even post in the first place?
Azail 15
Can't tell if 72 is sarcastic or is just plain stupid or is trolling.
FmaFangirl 9
This is why you don't go and shoot paintball guns at bees.
f_this_shit59 0
Unless they are attacking you
SteveWonder 2
or unless your not a pussy
Mister_Triangle 21
I thought it was because of the Geneva Conventions
supimnyancat 9
I pressed YDI after I read "Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest."
ScarletFever67 6
See but if you stop there, it seems like he was the one getting stung....
aceman1992 9
58- wow, you missed the point.
windfuelsfire 10
Funny how this comment is rated so high when you have the FML where the OP smacked the homeless person, dissed in comments for "judging too quickly". We have the exact same behavior here
MidnaLink 35
I think dinner for a year would be more acceptable
dav3800 7
Yet, he still deserved it. ^
stuner56 22
Same. Nothing good can come after that. "today, I shot a bees nest with a paintball gun and a leprechaun came out and he stabbed me with a shank" I'd like to see that
momo3p 22
Same
himoonkey 8
You should BEE a better neighbor. Hehe I'm funny right? No? I'll just go back into my hole.
LouisianaBob 9
Surprising that a joke is the highest rated right now. Being stung to the point of a visit to the hospital is horrible.
IcyJack 7
Himoonkey, you shouldn't worry about that, you're just BEEing creative. You're adding a lot of BUZZ to the conversation. I know you're worried about being STUNG by internet trolls (their idiocy can sometimes make me break out into HIVEs) , but some people online can be sweet as HONEY.
KeyboardWarrior 10
BOOOOO, GET OFF THE STAGE!
MrBrightside21 20
70 - You're doing it wrong.
siickman 7
97- Humor, * you are doing it wrong.
Michael_92 20
70 may have done it wrong but it still made me laugh. Worst puns ever! lol. Oh gosh I'm too tired.
hthelittleone 10
Well you definitely deserve it, but that sounds like something I would do too see what would happen..
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
Please do not ever do that.
EyeCeYu 7
In the hospital for bee stings. That must really suck for them. By the way, watch out and save up money, you may have a law suit coming your way.
xgetxbentx 13
Not uncommon considering everyone is slightly allergic to bee stings. Multiple stings can do a lot of damage.