Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML
Today, a kid threw a rock at a beehive while my friend and I where standing next to it. It fell down, and a swarm of slightly displeased bees assumed that we were the culprit. Knowing what was about to happen, my friend and I ran for our lives. He ran fast enough to escape; I didn't. The kid, the actual culprit, didn't get attacked. FML
Today, I made a joke about my electric lawnmower sounding like a bunch of angry bees. It was verified when I ran over a beehive in my backyard. FML
Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML
Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML
Today, I saved a honey bee from drowning in our pool. It promptly stung me and died. FML
Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML
Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML
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Top comments
supimnyancat 9
I pressed YDI after I read "Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest."
BountyBass 13
And so you should
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Comments (305)
Xalandra 17
Heres what I hope happens now OP. First of all, I hope the your neighbors are still alive and read FML, because when they see this they're going to lawyer up and bring a case against you. Hell who knows? You might even be arrested and have the state bring a case against you for attempted murder. You're an idiot OP, plain and simple, I just hope that getting your idiocy published on FML will get you into the trouble you deserve! I hope you have a lot of money cause you'll be paying all their medical bills for awhile!
XxMoonShadowxX 0
first: it doesnt say his name second: there could be other people shootin bees nests withvpaintball guns, im on my phone so sozz bout the spelling
Xalandra 17
First, they dont need his name, all they need is probable cause for a warrant to get the ip address of where this FML was submitted from. And Second, the chances of two idiotic people shooting a bee hive and getting their neighbors attacked in the same general area is very, very, very slim. Theres probably all sorts of evidence lying around. For example, the paint from the paint gun, I bet it got lots of paint everywhere and not just on the hive. They could get a warrant to search OPs house to look for paint balls and a paintball gun. Really if they wanted to pursue a case, they could!
Shrike 24
LOL at the people taking the "slaughtered" part literally. Just when I thought people couldn't get any dumber.
nekroseftychia 9
OP's probably using the word as a hyperbole but bee stings have small amounts of poison in them(for killing insects not humans) but of course a ridiculously large number would do it(apparently its 10 per pound so assuming his neighbors weren't anorexic or small children they should be fine of course unless they have allergies then they are royally screwed..)
Shrike 24
Yeah, I get what you're saying, but he did say "for lack of a better word". And let's face it, if someone died, OP wouldn't be posting this shit. It's FML, not SomethingAwful.
Xalandra 17
... it wasn't the OP's inherent stupidity at shooting a bee hive and then posting it on FML with a poor choice of words that made you think people couldn't get any dumber, no, it was people taking hundreds of bee stings seriously, because no one has ever died from multiple bee stings before... wow
Shrike 24
Shit man, you're totally right. Because I know when _I_ do something stupid and get people killed, I don't cry about it or throw up or move to another country. **** no, I post it to FML so the cops can easily figure out that I committed homicide. That was sarcasm. I dunno if that exists in the fantasy world you live in where murderers post on FML.
jaytee1994 9
Bro u may feel bad but I'm laughing my ******* ass off!!! That's ******* great!! Sorry for your neighbors tho!
bladedrose 3
Ditto, laughed so hard I almost cried
fsamslife92 8
Yes, FYL because you feel like a dick. I imagine that must be so horrible compared to what happened to your neighbors.
uncivil 5
Your the reason why little immature kids like yourself give the sport of paintball a bad name
esmiles3 5
**** your life? **** your neighbors life! You should feel like a dick! You are!
Kurliegyrl 10
What a dick move
888pickles888 4
What the hell was going through your mind for you to possibly think that disturbing a peaceful nest of harmful insects was even the teeniest bit a good idea?
lufi_fml 8
Legen......wait for it I hope ur not lactose intolerant.....dary
masnosmas 3
Can't say I haven't done that before