Today, I was talking to my grandpa while he was gardening outside. Suddenly I feel this hard, salty thing fly into my mouth and I spit it out. It turned out to be a beetle. My grandpa takes one look at the beetle and says, "Well, at least that poor bug finally got you to shut up." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked, I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML
Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML
Today, I just drank a sip of beer and felt something so I spit it out... It was an earwig. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML
Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML
Today, I was eating at my aunt's place with all my cousins and the salad had little green and alive bugs. I didn't want to cause attention, so I tried to pick some off and just kept eating. FML
Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
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Top comments
texashater75 16
Maybe you should take that as a hint and quit bugging your grandpa.
tmd4L 7
Better than something else hard and salty.
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Comments (81)
texashater75 16
Maybe you should take that as a hint and quit bugging your grandpa.
K_kanaka 26
I can honestly say that my grandpa would do the exact same thing to me. -__-
ScaughtieHolden 11
Pun intended #1?
mccaincracker 6
Anyone read it as "then HIS hard salty thing flew Into my mouth", or just me? xD
Ardos 3
I see what u did there #1
buck33 14
27 - Just you.
n_epic_fail 14
I read hard and salty and thought "op, what the ****... With grandpa?!"
jonriise18 3
Yea, I thought this was going to a very dark place when it said, "hard salty thing flew in my mouth".
linkinpark98 24
Ah, gotta love grandpas. :)
leprechaun23 15
They say what they think and dont care who hears
zack11742 7
Ya my grandpa would do the same shit
pslcdsl 9
Gotta love your pappy :)
Marcelb 17
Your grandpa is funny. And learn to shut up! :P
Pentium_4 27
it's always kind of surprising when an old person says something like that, but they know they can get away with it, which makes it hilarious
Biglaxboss63 0
Maby u were going to say somthin bad so god threw a beatle into ur mouth to make u stop befor embarising anyone At least it wasnt a vw beatle
ScaughtieHolden 11
Which Beatle? You don't have that many choices here. :[ R.I.P. John Lennon & George Harrison.
bubbywaldo 0
isn't it difficult and time consuming to intentionally spell every word so horribly?
breezyblue33 19
You need to turn your autocorrect back on. 0__o
gossipgirl3_fml 2
*maybe *you *something *beetle *your *you *before *embarrassing *beetle
bettyc4 26
Extra protein ;)
marinus_fml 20
Always a good thing!
Dirty_Minded_FML 2
Respect your elders. Always
wittygirl 8
What jerk would thumb down your comment. When it's true... Damn Commies!
sjaytee 6
How was OP disrespecting their elders? Idiot
tmd4L 7
Better than something else hard and salty.
danivolley64 10
i thought the same thing xD sorry OP stop buggin ur grandpa
b0ngs 7
Your grandpa should appriciate that you're spending time with him. Most kids dont nowadays. But the beetle thing is disgusting
choshaki 8
Your grandpa is so cute! Maybe you should consider talking less next time..