Today, I was talking to my grandpa while he was gardening outside. Suddenly I feel this hard, salty thing fly into my mouth and I spit it out. It turned out to be a beetle. My grandpa takes one look at the beetle and says, "Well, at least that poor bug finally got you to shut up." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked, I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML
Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML
Today, I just drank a sip of beer and felt something so I spit it out... It was an earwig. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML
Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML
Today, I was eating at my aunt's place with all my cousins and the salad had little green and alive bugs. I didn't want to cause attention, so I tried to pick some off and just kept eating. FML
Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
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Top comments
texashater75 16
Maybe you should take that as a hint and quit bugging your grandpa.
tmd4L 7
Better than something else hard and salty.
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Comments (81)
KrazyKlutzyKali 2
I can just feel the love that your grandpa has for you.
ospeth 4
Old people can be so honest and get away with it.
Hubol 11
That happened to me once, but it was a bee, so I had a big bulge in my cheek after.
bkingkingking 13
a salty bug? sounds delightful.
aissie 2
At least you have a grandpa. Now quit complaining and get back to shoveling.
wegetrz 14
I don't blame him, some people just don't know when or how to shut their traps.
writergirl23 19
Haha why weren't you helping him, I would have. Don't wanna get your nails messed up I suppose. And iv tasted bug too. Unpleasant taste :P
scu 4
How was the beetle? Did it survive?
ryanisexy 5
Never knew they were salty.
spongebobby617 0
My aunt said that to me once too.