Today, I was talking to my grandpa while he was gardening outside. Suddenly I feel this hard, salty thing fly into my mouth and I spit it out. It turned out to be a beetle. My grandpa takes one look at the beetle and says, "Well, at least that poor bug finally got you to shut up." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked, I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML
Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML
Today, I just drank a sip of beer and felt something so I spit it out... It was an earwig. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML
Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML
Today, I was eating at my aunt's place with all my cousins and the salad had little green and alive bugs. I didn't want to cause attention, so I tried to pick some off and just kept eating. FML
Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
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Top comments
texashater75 16
Maybe you should take that as a hint and quit bugging your grandpa.
tmd4L 7
Better than something else hard and salty.
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Comments (81)
ScarletBloom 14
That priceless moment with your grandpa. Laugh about it with him while he still can.
sarahrocrocrocks 5
EWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WOULDVE LIKE POURED A GALLON OF MOUTHWASH IN MY MOUTH AFTER THAT! and then die cuz im tterrified of bugs
benderbot19 0
I want to pour, like, a gallon of mouthwash in my eyes after reading your comment. OMGZ!!
TheJester12 15
leave grandpa alone while he's gardening . now that he has ED it's the only thing he can work over with a ho and watch grow .
studdmuffin1990 7
Hehehe
teyyoshi 19
Speechless. ...you should be
mama2b3 20
I know I am....?
iloveweed69 7
Mmm delicious
Enslaved 38
A wise old owl sat on a great old oak The more he heard, the less he spoke The less he spoke, the more he heard That wise old owl, was a wise old bird.
brohamas16 7
I mean he's probably just trying to get some work done
skyeyez9 25
Now the rest of us are enlightened to know what beetles taste like. I heard some types of ants taste like lemon drops.
tropicalkisser 0
I know you might love your grandpa but since u bugged him I think he had a reason to make that joke ;)