Today, I was talking to my grandpa while he was gardening outside. Suddenly I feel this hard, salty thing fly into my mouth and I spit it out. It turned out to be a beetle. My grandpa takes one look at the beetle and says, "Well, at least that poor bug finally got you to shut up." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked, I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML
Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML
Today, I just drank a sip of beer and felt something so I spit it out... It was an earwig. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML
Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML
Today, I was eating at my aunt's place with all my cousins and the salad had little green and alive bugs. I didn't want to cause attention, so I tried to pick some off and just kept eating. FML
Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
texashater75 16
Maybe you should take that as a hint and quit bugging your grandpa.
tmd4L 7
Better than something else hard and salty.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (81)
silentandcliche 1
Crazy old people make me laugh.
inlove72 11
Crazy old people make everybody laugh (=
Elizabeth198 1
He's getting old, they will always speak their minds :/
MissRoxiie 12
He was just joking :3
pagullarka 9
Old people usually don't joke that much at their age they just get blunt.
JustinSmith 2
Lol I'm sure he was, but if he wasn't that would be so hilarious!!!
NFSMax 5
????
at_1sexymofo 3
Now what did you learn...
bjcr8978 0
Did he also yell at you for being on his lawn. Those kids are always on my lawn.
Rxoxdx 0
That is ******* disgusting
paschale 7
Bugs taste salty? Thanks for that bit of info OP!
Pelreskovich 11
Paw paw doesn't like you :( when he's on his deathbed and telling life stories you'll take a long drawn out sigh and be like "someone get him to shut up" and your family will be angry with your insensitivity. Elderly can do whatever they want. It's better to just accept it.
justen27 7
Was he atleast laughing or was he completly serious when he said that.
DillonCampbell 0
Hmmmmmm.....
Pelreskovich 11
I'm carrying a vial of bugs around for whenever I want someone to shut up. Might take a few tries of throwing them to get one to land in their mouth.. Oh do bugs keep hitting you in the face? ..I'm sorry.