Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving for work. Curious, I read some of the logs, and discovered he has been posing as a woman and holding filthy conversations with "hot teen lesbians" for the past several months. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband forgot to log out of his laptop. Out of curiosity, I checked what was on the screen. It turns out he has his own blog where he shares all the intimate details about our sex life. FML
Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML
Today, I discovered the real reason my husband was distraught last week and has been acting moodily ever since. An attractive girl he was secretly having sex chats with online confessed to him that "she" was actually a guy. FML
Today, my boyfriend left his laptop open, signed into a chat program. I learned why he started working out and eating right. Not to look good for me or be healthier. No, he planned his entire diet and exercise plan so he could shoot the biggest loads possible during "goon sessions." FML
Today, I found out my husband has a fake Facebook account that he uses to add guys and live a double life as some kind of "gamer chick". This would be disturbing enough, even if he hadn't used pictures of me to give a face to his alter ego. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has an account on a sex hookup site. He said it has "interesting articles" and that he'd completed his profile and listed his sexual preferences out of boredom. When I told him to sign in and prove he hadn't been messaging girls, he refused and called me paranoid. FML
Today, I found out my husband pretends to be a young, bisexual woman online. As if that isn't bad enough, he flipped out and didn't believe me when I told him the other "young, bisexual women" he's been beating it to are probably middle-aged men too. FML
Today, after moving miles to be with my boyfriend, I logged onto his computer just in time to see his other girlfriend had sent naked pictures. FML
Today, my husband was fired for chatting online for the third time in a month during office hours. Who was he chatting with? Me, telling him to get off the chat programme so he wouldn't lose his job. FML
Today, while trying to be sexy for my fiancé by going to change his background photo to a naughty pic of myself, I found out he's been actively cheating on me. For almost a year, with multiple women. When confronted, he tried telling how hard me finding out was for HIM. FML
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Top comments
FUCKNAMESBREH 0
Funny thing is, I bet 90% of those "hot teen lesbians" were also grown men. Still, what a pedobear...
bizarre_ftw 22
You're married to a diabolical genius bastard! In other news, if you've been wanting to branch out and experiment lately you don't have to worry about how he'll react any more :)
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Comments (301)
bizarre_ftw 22
You're married to a diabolical genius bastard! In other news, if you've been wanting to branch out and experiment lately you don't have to worry about how he'll react any more :)
PeeblesWiggins 0
Your husband was most likely chatting with 40 year old men who still live in their mom's basements, so don't feel too bad.
staythirsty 2
Op should pose herself as one of those filthy teens and then flip the book on him. Turn into a pyscho and insist on meeting.
margie2194 12
I wonder what kind of role-play he suggests in bed...
gojira666 7
Scissoring FTW!
muzy 23
Ingenious man indeed. There is, however one potential flaw in his devilish scheme. What if some bloke had the same idea as him? *awkward mode engaged*
EvilLilCupcake 10
Well at least OP won't have to worry if she ever asks him if he minds if she "experiments" sometime ;)
ColdplaySucks 18
You and your husband should have a nice, long talk about how ****** up that is.
Dracoboxer357 36
Lmfao at #11! I'd be willing to bet yer probably right! Bleh!
KRS_13 0
Interesting shirt. Did you buy it?
noobgang7 5
Just be glad he wasn't looking for guys :P
maddylovesu 5
its better than a gay chatroom right? that would be awkward....
chill29682 0
lol
bizarre_ftw 22
115 - BEST way to come out I've Ever heard!!!!!!! XD if I ever switch sides I'm buying that shirt!!
laurbear12 3
1 already said that :)
dubstep87 0
Your ugly:( the one on top
BrokenDreamer24 15
48- You are an evil genius. If I was OPs wife, I would so do that.
sissycullen 4
That's exactly what someone already said
shawnabuchanand 0
ur pic is kinda scary lookin, like sum crack hoe hoe hoe murry Christmas
ArcticPuppet 0
209- If you're comment 209 and she's comment one, she would have said it before you because it's ever so ******* obvious. Now quit your whining and go watch Elf.
evilstevie13 0
I think I love you
evamusical 12
So, 1, ur a lesbian huh? ^^
hchardman 0
Thats an akward conversation at the dinner table later...
attaboy368 20
I like the way you think!! Genius~~
Akai_fml 4
OP deserves it for sneaking around in chat logs.
JoHan55_fml 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sexy
SillyFart 7
Man I'd love to toot his caboose
SillyFart 7
^ I honestly don't know why I'd say something as stupid as that *slaps himself in the face*
GoW_Chick 15
It's okay 36 you were just distracted by the words hot teen lesbians you get a pass
M0rt 0
You know every man has his vices
asoptavlo14 6
36- I sure got a kick in the rear out of that one. Caboose = rear end of a train for people that never liked trains..
Wolflink289 10
#53: It's okay *Mr.* Misfit, your real identity is safe with me!
spazz666 18
36) it's called "facepalm" (;
sexaddict89167 0
I am too
ariannaimelda 7
Next thing you know Chris Hansen will be walking into your living room!
derpster 7
"hey! i'm chris hansen with dateline NBC. what are you doing here? ah, just visiting? yes, were you aware that there is a married man here? yep. now, i have several chat logs here. do you recognize these?"
arkid24 1
"Why dont you have a seat over there"
CadillacPimpen 6
152 your profile pic doesn't correspond with your information.
Stormdriven37 6
198- Don't hate, his pic is awesome haha
MikeDa1Da 14
210- anonymous is so stupid... All they do is ddos websites and sit on wall street.
kansah 25
**** I love Chris Hansen.
Brotha_Lou 5
Everybody likes Christ Handsome.
summerguy97 16
Hahaha. Pose as one of them and speak to him.
flux_panic 18
Perhaps freak him out a bit by telling him everything about him..
yahoowizard 16
When online role playing, always be the one with the strap on and see how he responds
lucaspop 0
good idea lol
Hypervelez 0
That's a good one Lolz
mr_miyagi 0
55 your awesome 203 not bad
live4tomorrow 7
Awkward.. Did you confront him about it? O:
Livencountry 5
He left for work, so probably not.
MCweSCRAPPY 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I say she deserved it for snooping. Even though she found something, invasion of privacy is wrong. What if she found nothing? It shows a lack of trust.
frokeyman92 9
Your married you shouldn't be hiding anything.
ZebcoGirl 0
At least he wasnt talking to straight women and trying to get with one.. It is a little wierd he was posing as a woman. But I have to say at least he was smart enough to think of that.
2ndSucks 15
81- She did find something though. Something that poses as a very legitimate reason for there to be a lack of trust. OP in no way deserves this for "snooping."
eatsleepjb 8
122- SHE isn't hiding anything, HE is, so it's good that she didn't trust him or she wouldn't have found out
ladycamo 0
Curiosity killed the cat.
lovelife_1284 3
You're gonna become a cheating husband one day!
FUCKNAMESBREH 0
Funny thing is, I bet 90% of those "hot teen lesbians" were also grown men. Still, what a pedobear...
bossroyd 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
How would you know? Just curious...
iamyourgod 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
By teen it probably means at least 16 plus, so that not really a pedobear
rattusrattus 19
Well, on the internet, the men are men, a good portion of the women are men, as are a similar portion in the subset of women: hot teen lesbians. And the kids who can spell are members of the FBI.
bizarre_ftw 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I can spell, do I work for the FBI?
docscientist 10
I'm sure op's husband wishes he was an "FBI" agent.
Bobissmall 13
Can someone explain why #65 is wrong/down voted? 18 and 19 are still considered "teen"
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I assume he was voted down for pointing out the fact that "Teen" generally means that a person is above the age of puberty which would make the OPs husband a ephebophile, not a pedophile thus not a pedobear. It was what many in this community probably consider a waste of time response. I personally feel any response that isn't just smack talk that goes with the FML or thread, is valid enough.
Bobissmall 13
Indeed, and thank you for teaching me that word. I always knew there was a difference, as paedophiles are attracted to those with bodies of prepubescent children, whereas if someone is attracted to a 14 year old with the body of an 18 year old, it's not paedophilia, etc.
soxfan72797 3
"And the kids who can spell are members of the FBI" lmao funniest thing I've seen on here hats off to you sir
Glidefedt 6
Teen is 13-19, because they curiously enough end in TEEN.
Semm 0
#95 I see what you did there
Semm 0
#95 I see what you did there
BbyKenzie 0
She just said she looked, stupid.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
The point still stands though because the average girl goes through puberty around the age of thirteen.
zombicidal 11
too bad the other hot teen lesbian was also a man
maddylovesu 5
154- no. people like you just ruin the whole point of the comment...
dreamer9614 3
Pointless, no mistake was in either comment.
alex6946 10
154- FAIL (:
crchara 3
lol that's terrible! sad thing is that apparently he makes a convincing woman
zombicidal 11
Yeah it goes "I'm now rubbing my dic- I mean ****"
bizarre_ftw 22
I mean clit
Right_Click 12
If he's resorting to the Internet instead of his wife to get his pleasure, then it's even more horrifying to think he makes a better woman than the OP herself..
jvanevery 19
no what it means is most of the hot teen lesbians weren't hot teen lesbians but some other form of creep
FelixVC1 21
Not really hard to pose as whatever you want on the internet, might as well give it a try too!
bizarre_ftw 22
So..... Who are you?
zombicidal 11
I'm actually Batman with a picture of Harley Quinn man I wish I was rich like that Bruce Wayne guy
Enslaved 38
13, I'm picturing the caterpillar from "Alice in Wonderland" saying that.(:
bizarre_ftw 22
I do not see, explain yourself
zombicidal 11
caterpillar snape says that line in Tim Burtons (and other renditions) Alice in wonderland
Enslaved 38
Thank you, z. I was just about to explain that.(: btw Don't know about you, but I've gotten "The Walking Dead" withdrawals. :P I remembered you watched that show also.
zombicidal 11
I also miss it but it starts back up February 12
bizarre_ftw 22
The "explain yourself" was a second quote
monster_tamer 11
ALAN RICKMAN. Severus Snape did not suddenly cross over from Harry Potter to play the Caterpillar in Alice In Wonderland.
zombicidal 11
I know snape isn't the actors name but that's what most people think he also plays the guy in Sweeney Todd
Enslaved 38
Don't worry, lesbians won't be interested in "him" in real life. (:
zombicidal 11
unless he gets a real ditz and manages to convince her its the world most realistic strap-on
perdix 31
Enslaved, most of the "hot, teen lesbians" are actually fat, middle-aged guys. Think about it: would a real hot, teen lesbian need to have filthy online chats? They'd be having hot, real-life sex all the time!
Enslaved 38
Don't try destroying my dreams. I know they exist. :P
zombicidal 11
a dominos near where I live has the last 4 numbers spell out **** (FUN FACT)
zombicidal 11
the comment that made my above comment halfway relevant has been moded darn
perdix 31
#75, sure they do. If you start going at it with a Sappho17xoxo, a blonde with DD's with pink nipples whose pussy juice tastes like marshmallows and peanut butter, just move on to something else. I'm just sayin'...
Fmls4life 6
Yes winning "Enslaved", they must be out there somewhere.
perdix 31
#119, I'll take the 5th. By the way, is TheIsland = Lesbos19xx69?
flockz 20
i'm " BumRammerXOXO " hit me up.
zombicidal 11
wait! bumrammer no way its me P00nK!nG730
perdix 31
#133, You go to hot, teen lesbian sites calling yourself HugePenis? That doesn't sound too smart. It would be like going to vegan sites and using a moniker like BloodySirLoin -- ******* hilarious in most contexts, but hateful to that particular crowd. Sappho17xoxo is very popular, or so I've been told.
flockz 20
Hello, my name's Chris Hansen. Please take a seat.
perdix 31
Your logic is impeckerble.