Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving for work. Curious, I read some of the logs, and discovered he has been posing as a woman and holding filthy conversations with "hot teen lesbians" for the past several months. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband forgot to log out of his laptop. Out of curiosity, I checked what was on the screen. It turns out he has his own blog where he shares all the intimate details about our sex life. FML
Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML
Today, I discovered the real reason my husband was distraught last week and has been acting moodily ever since. An attractive girl he was secretly having sex chats with online confessed to him that "she" was actually a guy. FML
Today, my boyfriend left his laptop open, signed into a chat program. I learned why he started working out and eating right. Not to look good for me or be healthier. No, he planned his entire diet and exercise plan so he could shoot the biggest loads possible during "goon sessions." FML
Today, I found out my husband has a fake Facebook account that he uses to add guys and live a double life as some kind of "gamer chick". This would be disturbing enough, even if he hadn't used pictures of me to give a face to his alter ego. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has an account on a sex hookup site. He said it has "interesting articles" and that he'd completed his profile and listed his sexual preferences out of boredom. When I told him to sign in and prove he hadn't been messaging girls, he refused and called me paranoid. FML
Today, I found out my husband pretends to be a young, bisexual woman online. As if that isn't bad enough, he flipped out and didn't believe me when I told him the other "young, bisexual women" he's been beating it to are probably middle-aged men too. FML
Today, after moving miles to be with my boyfriend, I logged onto his computer just in time to see his other girlfriend had sent naked pictures. FML
Today, my husband was fired for chatting online for the third time in a month during office hours. Who was he chatting with? Me, telling him to get off the chat programme so he wouldn't lose his job. FML
Today, while trying to be sexy for my fiancé by going to change his background photo to a naughty pic of myself, I found out he's been actively cheating on me. For almost a year, with multiple women. When confronted, he tried telling how hard me finding out was for HIM. FML
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Top comments
FUCKNAMESBREH 0
Funny thing is, I bet 90% of those "hot teen lesbians" were also grown men. Still, what a pedobear...
bizarre_ftw 22
You're married to a diabolical genius bastard! In other news, if you've been wanting to branch out and experiment lately you don't have to worry about how he'll react any more :)
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Comments (301)
Wookman17 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
The man is awesome! :D hahaha I can not believe he did that! hahaha the idea of a MARRIED MAN, still in the age where he can get an affair (no offense) doing THAT...hahahaha :D The man's a nympho, or whatever the name for guys just not having enough, if there is a word for it, cause with guys it's normal, for girls it's a sickness xD
DocBastard 40
Can't tell if trolling or just nuttier than squirrel shit...
bizarre_ftw 22
50 50? And the term you're searching for is man's man, or in this case: lesbian's man
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Satyriasis is the term for male nymphomania.
TheNewGuy03 29
Fun fact: "Satyr" is also the root word for "satire." Wahooooo, language. |the kid|
perdix 31
This should be working out great for you. Your husband should be spending hours with his face buried in your muff researching material for his future posts and acting on what he has learned. That's not happening?
superpoptart 24
Get a divorce. There's obviously something wrong with him if his favorite past time is preying on teenagers. He could be potentially dangerous and pedophiles only deserve punishment.
iamyourgod 3
Why does everyone hear teen and jump to pedophile? I highly doubt by teen she meant 13 year olds. 17,18,19 are still teens and I doubt you couldn't find a guy on the planet not attracted to those ages.
justanotherbird 19
Any grown ass man who wants to use a teenager for sexual pleasure , or have a relationship, is sick. Maturity levels are completely different, even if they are considered "adults" at 17. 18, or 19. This also applies to mothers who screw teenage boys. And yeah, I'm sure the husband would still chat with "Sarah, lol, I'm 15 & n Cali" if he was going to the sort of site to begin with.
Bobissmall 13
You're right, maturity levels are completely different. The 18 year old could be more mature than the grown man. So really, once they're an "adult" it's fine, and isn't "sick" at all.
justanotherbird 19
Oh please. Wanting someone who has barely come out of childhood when you are an older adult is sick. Would you not be disgusted by your father or mother ******* 17 year olds? If you have children, will you be ok when your 18 year old daughter/son brings back their 36 year old date? Outside of fantasy land a 17 year old is very unlikely to be on the same level as a 30-60 year old.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Are we keeping in mind the fact that this is one of those "times change" things since in the olden days it was considered perfectly acceptable to marry a twelve year old? It isn't sick to want to screw a 17, 18, or 19 year old. It's genetics. We are programmed to want sex and we are more so programmed to want it with those who are more likely to be fertile. Plus most attraction is initially based on physical appearance. I'm willing to bet that you have on a few occasions commented about some person being really hot without even knowing they were underage. Also as someone else already pointed out maturity does NOT equal age. I've met seven year olds more mature than some forty year-old people I know.
EvilDave 13
You are an idiot. No, seriously, you are. You are stating that the natural, inborn drives of a person are wrong. Right now, you are getting ready to say that a guy wanting to have sex with a 16-19 year old is wrong and not natural, and YOU ARE WRONG. You are basing your comments on social conventions that didn't exist for 90+% of the time humanity has existed. Up until a few hundred years ago, young women in their teens would be married off, generally to an older man, and the teens had little say in the matter. Women in their mid to late teens are attractive and fertile. They are sexually mature. They are perfect for reproduction because they have the energy of youth for raising children. Right now, you are think "They ARE children" but they are not. Society and culture may say they are, but that is just because teens tend to act like idiots because they are treated like children for way too long. Here is a fact that you don't seem to understand: Youth is attractive to both men and women and IT IS NATURAL. Your entire objection is based on recent social conventions that are based partly on feminism and partly on the infantilization of young adults. And, that infantilization is starting to reach into the 20s. Oh, and what if Hubby is 22yos? Or 25yos?
iamyourgod 3
Forget the relation ship part for a moment. Any man who says he's not attracted to a developed 17 year old is either lying or gay. The comment I posted on says he is a pedophile and should be punished. A pedophile is attraction to prepubescent girls, and I doubt this is what the FML was about.
isagoal 0
Sounds like my Friday night.
HahaYDI 0
Little does he know he's actually talking to Chris Hansen.
HahaYDI 0
Oh someone already beat me to the Chris Hansen punchline... :(
iDaniel525 8
Is his name by any chance....BigdDaddyMac69? --if so, tell him I'm HotDana1993 and ask if we're still on for our 'chat' (;
bizarre_ftw 22
How disturbing would it be if this wasn't a joke?
iDaniel525 8
Extremely disturbing..but, not to worry, it's just a joke.
bizarre_ftw 22
Riiiiiiiiiiight! Don't worry, we believe you :)
iDaniel525 8
I don't use that pussy shit. I use omegle.
xoxPatrina 8
Uhm divorce him, he's obviously a creep...
KushBaby 1
It's really not that big of a deal. I mean, would you rather have him on the site as himself?
nerdsgetmehot 23
Do yourself a favor and leave him!
Daydreemdie 0
Um.... O_o