Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother brought home dinner for four people. I was not one of those people. The dog, however, was. FML
Today, as I fed my dog his dinner of chicken offal, a drumstick, a wing, a mackerel, and a raw egg, my dad bitched and moaned that I waste money feeding him meat instead of just buying the cheapest kibble at the store. FML
Today, I realized my mom tells our dogs she loves them more than she says it to me. FML
Today, my mom invited me over yet again so I could practice my culinary degree by making an exquisite, gourmet meal for her dog; a three year old Pomeranian who pees in my shoes. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her mom gave me some seasoned cauliflower, which I didn't like. Not wanting to dissapoint my girlfriend's mom, I slipped the cauliflower of my plate and gave it to their dog. It turns out cauliflower gives their dog explosive diarrhea. FML
Today, I had expired soda and stale chips for my dinner. Why? Because my mother spent all our grocery money on organic food for her chihuahua. FML
Today, I caught my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML
Today, when I got home from work exhausted and literally ready to fall over, my mom had me carry several heavy bags of dog food for her. Yesterday, it was coals; before that it was horse feed and gas bottles. Before that, I'd just asked her to keep the hard, physical work to the weekends. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, and for the last six months, my mom has been feeding my Huskies human food behind my back. It's not only table scraps, it's ridiculous amounts of food. I've asked her to stop but she doesn't respect me, and I know she only does it to get on my nerves. FML
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Top comments
RaggleFrock 13
steal the dogs food!
Lauren10102 3
"No children, don't feed the dog dog food, he needs to eat his people food right now"
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Comments (170)
RaggleFrock 13
steal the dogs food!
flagg1888 3
maybe she actually likes the dog. but if you can lick your genitals then surely someone will cook you a feast
22cute 17
maybe the dog shows more appreciation and gratitude ?? It happens....
Iamnotmyself 17
I agree with eleven. Stop shaving, bark at strangers, hump your gf/bf in front of her (doggie style), get a fake tail, and chase small animals in the backyard.
mruizk9 7
or kill the dog!
ImAHomosexual 0
32... what the **** is wrong with you.
Thunderbender 2
OP I'm pretty sure you don't greet your mom every time she comes through the door with your tongue hanging out and you ass wagging excitedly...
OceanBreathesSal 5
^ i do(:
Jaxon26 0
Bitchez be crazy
ThanksKarma 0
Well you actually ave the upper hand. You can see in color, you have thumbs, and you will live 3-4x longer than the dog. if you really have that much of a problem then start cooking for yourself.
RandomChickXD 0
Yeah I agree with 95 ^ OP needs to grow up and get over themself
Pawned71 0
it's because the dog can't talk to say "get back to the kitchen"
ndvorsky 4
seriously it is the parents job to cook for the children most of the time
tradaj 3
I'm hungry now ...
katiekatie412 4
I agree, steal it! Dogs don't need to be cooked for anyways.... most will eat just about anything. Hell, some even eat their own poop. :)
icanhazblivions 1
the dog's teeth will decay and fall out if you don't feed it some crunchy dog food from time to time... dog food is actually made for and called such because it's healthy for dogs.
6tori6 5
some dogs teeth will fall out anyways though, like old grandpa and grandma dogs:)
Free_Candy 0
I have been feeding my six year old dog crunchy dog food his whole life. His teeth are perfectly fine.
ugliness 6
true, bones and pigs ears work the best, my 7 month old puppy has White enough teeth to put the sun to shame :)
smurfsarwales 9
the sun is supposed to be yellow...
fgwrxfiend 11
#71 ^^win
ThanksKarma 0
71/74- Saturday School Lesson. The man is stating that his dogs teeth are white/shiny enough to put the sun to shame. The sun is very bright and shiny and that is where the comparison of the dogs teeth to the sun comes in.
Feedmyaddiction5 14
I have a grandma dog :)
livabelle2186 0
potatoes kill dogs...
SteelCladAngel 0
actually with all the nasty shit in most mass produced dog foods they're just as bad for dogs as tv dinners are for us. if the woman cooks a Sunday dinner for her dog often enough that her kids complain there's a good chance she makes homemade doggy biscuits as well...last I knew dog biscuits were crunchy or the dog has plenty of crunchy/hard chew toys like bones, pigs ears, cow hooves or rawhide bones...bitches love rawhide bones
ronton 4
Wow that was like a million assumptions in one comment lol ^^
gumbo1 8
she loves the dog more than
IdontWanna69 8
More than what!?! Don't leave us hanging!
flagg1888 3
mire than...Hitler??? seriously gumbo1, put down the bong and finish your thoughts!!
flagg1888 3
more*
hayleyydean 0
put down the bong?!? worst advice ever.
LordGoober 13
Reminds me of the fml with the kid who was explaining how weed doesn't make you forget... what was I saying?
supermankisses 1
actually, it's pretty good advice.
Dr_Jalepenos 0
gumbo1 meant to put then*.
daniel1991 0
10 is right! dont leave me hanging buddy :(
Meloblood 0
She probably realized the dog has more potentional than them.
Lauren10102 3
"No children, don't feed the dog dog food, he needs to eat his people food right now"
OWNZ 0
He's in his happy place so leave him alone, and finish your dog food, my children.
petergoh 7
Nomnomnom
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
mothafucking ugly bitch is what she is. im saying this to get my comment moderated too. so **** off. *RIP Tony*
gravy_jones 0
maybe theres a reason for that.quit whining and cook for yourself.
nicolalau 0
agreed if u use fml u should be atleast 17+
karagarren 8
I see thirteen year olds here a lot though. doesn't mean the op is necessarily of age.
gravy_jones 0
I don't know about you but at 13 I was able to cook for myself
DarkScythe951 4
so was I xD I actually like cooking. then again I'm a better cook then my parents
Banana_Pancakes6 0
36 - I'm thirteen almost fourteen, and seem to have better grammar and spelling than you. So go shove your head up your ass and stop hating, alright? Have a nice day! :)
TheRealHouse 7
Lmao.. pwnd by an "almost 14 yr old"
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I think their issue was more FML content than anything else. What people write in the comments and such could often times be considered inappropriate for people under seventeen or so. I don't think they meant their comment to be a slight to younger people, just a concern.
Banana_Pancakes6 0
121 - I'm taking this more like 36 thinks OP is under 17 years old, and therefore shouldn't use this website he thinks only after 17+ years of age are you deemed worth of being "mature".
wordnerd42 0
Well the dog humps her leg, she's repaying him for the action. OP, you have work to do.
hayleyydean 0
hmmm learn to cook duh
WavinFlag 3
u need to clean ur room :)
hayleyydean 0
what are you my mother :P
Amherst51 1
hah this is a first i live in amherst ohio.
hayleyydean 0
weirddd
bobbymullet 11
cook your own food?
Allyb321 0
bwahaha! eat the dog food then!! or teach yo mama a lesson!!
YayFlameWarz 9
Then get dissowned. Smart.
sandythongs 1
or eat the dog either way is fine lol
RaineLee 5
Learn to cook your favorite dishes? :)