Health, Parents and Exhausted: Knackered

Knackered

By Anonymous - 25/11/2021 08:01

Today, when I got home from work exhausted and literally ready to fall over, my mom had me carry several heavy bags of dog food for her. Yesterday, it was coals; before that it was horse feed and gas bottles. Before that, I'd just asked her to keep the hard, physical work to the weekends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 169

Health Parents Exhausted

Sorry…

Walk the line

But there's panic on the streets of Carlisle

By EmmaleeSupertramp - 14/02/2014 03:16 - United States

Today, it was the first dress rehearsal at a community theater. I'm playing a grandma to a bunch of little kids, and the guy who is playing the grandpa wears a fat suit. I put on my costume and one of the kids comes up to me and says, "Are you wearing a fat suit too?" and pokes my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 651

You deserved it 6 953

By Welshite - 03/04/2014 20:53 - United States

Today, my coworkers continued their new favorite game: staring at me in total unnerving silence. I can't help but be reminded of serial killers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 956

You deserved it 3 350

By horny and alone - 04/11/2018 03:00

Today, I went home with my cute coworker. What started out as a little dirty talk and teasing ended with him admitting he was in a terrible emotional place and sending me home in an Uber so he could sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 654

You deserved it 381

By Dogmom - 14/09/2017 23:15

Today, I overheard my manager tell a customer that it's perfectly safe for dogs to eat grapes if they're seedless. I work in a pet store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 162

You deserved it 187

Don't mind me

By Anonymous - 01/10/2021 18:01 - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, my grandmother passed away recently, and I moved in with my mother to support her. My two uncles and my cousin (a technician, photographer, and a theologist) who are in a joint venture wanted to discuss business. I felt like a loser, waiting in the other room, while they sat in my Management Consultancy office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 98

By Ottawa - 12/05/2009 14:11 - Canada

Today, I was in line for Star Trek and chatting with another couple about a guy who came to the movie wearing a Starfleet uniform. We were having a good snicker about this "Geek" until my cell phone rang. My ringtone is the sound made by the Star Trek communicator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 403

You deserved it 84 193

By talker - 14/11/2012 06:14 - United States - Middletown

Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 513

You deserved it 22 951

By unwilling redneck - 24/05/2013 22:48 - United States

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 407

You deserved it 4 572

By Bacon0426 - 04/07/2016 21:03 - United States - Skaneateles

Today, in honor of America's birthday, my 50-year-old father decided to light off homemade bombs without telling anyone. The screams of me and my family members were louder than the bombs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 700

You deserved it 1 092

By Theo - 18/12/2009 06:52 - United States

Today, I came home to find my room completely torn apart. My mom and dad start yelling at me asking me why I am doing drugs because she found a tiny baggie on the floor. It was the little bag that spare buttons come in when you buy a dress shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 806

You deserved it 2 215

By Jimmy - 02/08/2019 12:00 - Australia

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 118

Et tu, Doggo?

By fml9124 - 05/09/2019 20:00

Today, as usual, my neighbor's 9 year-old son came over after school. I work from home so he stays until his mom gets home. My dog mopes around the house until 3 p.m., then gets all excited because he has a friend to play with. I'm almost jealous because a dog I've had for 11 years likes him more than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 329

You deserved it 353

By Skoff - 23/07/2015 09:44 - Australia - Rydalmere

Today, I went out to inspect the backyard. There are now more than two dozen spiders hanging out and webs crossing from one side of the yard to the other. I have decided to surrender this territory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 042

You deserved it 2 919

By Anonymous - 03/04/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend and he brushed my hair out of my eyes. Then he smiled and said "Your eyes are two different colors right now. One's blue, one's green..." I was so happy he still noticed the little things. Then he finished his sentence with "...ya know, like a dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 852

You deserved it 5 845

By finalfantasy - 21/06/2018 17:30 - United States - Aurora

Today, my brother thought it would be absolutely hilarious to replace my cold sore cream with superglue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 763

You deserved it 248

Cute

By eyesightfail - 21/11/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 433

You deserved it 15 475

By ohhmydamn - 31/07/2009 21:12 - United States

Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 661

You deserved it 70 518

By overseasbummer - 14/11/2014 19:09 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my wife and I had an argument serious enough to end our marriage, while overseas on vacation, with my whole family present. Three more days of awkward tension until we get to fly home and it all ends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 200

You deserved it 3 894

By crybaby - 28/06/2016 17:54 - United States - Seattle

Today, I went to let my puppy out, and I turned around to see her peeing on the carpet. After getting her outside, I saw my little sister pooping on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 611

You deserved it 813

By Anonymous - 06/12/2016 17:09 - United States - Orange Park

Today, it's the 11th day I've been in the hospital due to my kidneys. My mother has come in every day since to make me feel bad about missing Thanksgiving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 725

You deserved it 649

Stress factor 11

By Jonoq - 04/10/2019 16:00 - Canada

Today, in a 2-hour period at work, I had to talk to the cops, clean up shit and clean up vomit, yet none of these events were related. The worst part is, I work as a lifeguard and none of this is in the job description. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 407

You deserved it 109

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 20:15 - Netherlands

Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 742

You deserved it 4 128

By LALALALA - 29/05/2009 21:08 - United States

Today, I saw that Pixar had put out a teaser trailer for Toy Story 3. I got so excited to watch it that had to go lay in bed for a few minutes in order to calm myself down. I'm 19 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 123

You deserved it 48 774

The road to hell, good intentions, all that jazz

By Anonymous - 06/07/2020 05:01

Today, in the process of leaning over the sink to close the drain so my diamond earrings wouldn't fall in as I put them on, I dropped my diamond earring down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 657

By Anonymous - 23/06/2017 04:00

Today, I asked my friend to hand in my homework for me since I have tonsillitis. She thought it would be funny to draw a big heart on it with my teacher's name inside, which she then handed in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 124

You deserved it 587

By JWags - 04/12/2018 05:00

Today, at 30 years old, my wife asked why I'm circumcised when my parents aren't religious. I didn't know I was circumcised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 444

You deserved it 1 470

By SadExperiment - 30/10/2012 00:42 - United States - Claremont

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 591

You deserved it 3 310

By sadmama - 23/02/2018 15:00

Today, I found out that while my mother-in-law claimed to be babysitting my son, she was actually dropping him off at an unlicensed “day care” in a shady part of town so she could go out. How did I find out? The house was raided by police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 658

You deserved it 317

By oh well - 10/03/2015 13:27 - United States

Today, the only birthday present I got was a gift card to a steak house. Not a bad gift, but I'm a vegan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 722

You deserved it 8 376

By bob - 01/09/2011 05:29 - United States

Today, my grandmother refused to wear clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 348

You deserved it 2 704

By SSS - 14/02/2019 01:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my brother put a sign on my car saying, "No baby on board, feel free to drive into me." Somebody did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 024

You deserved it 206

By explosivepeach - 30/05/2015 01:34 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, on my second day as a lifeguard, I locked myself out of the pool. My angry guests and I had to wait for 45 minutes for my manager to arrive and unlock the gate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 578

You deserved it 5 872

By mavrick127 - 29/09/2016 14:21 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 105

You deserved it 1 749

By PTKFML - 26/07/2009 04:37 - United States

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 666

You deserved it 7 580

By get a grip, son - 30/05/2014 20:37 - United States - Pooler

Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 106

You deserved it 10 814

By Vassy - 04/12/2012 18:51 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I made a positive remark to the owner of my local groceries store for employing a special needs girl. Not only is the girl not mentally handicapped, she's also the owner's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 641

You deserved it 32 649

Bodyshaming

By auslander - 12/08/2009 20:13 - Switzerland

Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year-old boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 677

You deserved it 7 897

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 185

You deserved it 2 983

Hang in there

By Anonymous - 12/09/2021 11:00

Today, and since being diagnosed with bowel cancer, I realised I’ve been unintentionally limiting the places I go to, like shops and restaurants, based solely on the quality of their toilet paper. Not really complaining, I just thought it was kinda funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 89

His house, his asshole

By Anonymous - 11/06/2021 14:01

Today, my dad is an asshole. My brother gets to bring home and shag as many girls as he wants, yet when I told my dad I was inviting my study group to our house, 3 girls and 1 boy I’m not romantically interested in, he removed my bedroom door, just in case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 150

You deserved it 84

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

No comments yet.

Comments

debbyman13 20

Send a private message

Thursday 25 November 2021 8:04

But do you pay your mother rent though?

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 8

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 9

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 94

Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 83