All in the Family

By weedvocate - 25/03/2020 14:02

Today, my mother brought home dinner for four people. I was not one of those people. The dog, however, was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 797

You deserved it 174

Summer vacations: Sun and blunders
From beaches to campsites, embark on a journey filled with laughter under the sun... and a few sunburns! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Welcome!

By Annoyed - 27/04/2025 00:00 - Canada

Today, I invited a friend over for dinner and spent hours preparing a fancy meal. When I opened the door, he walked in with his new girlfriend, his mom, his sister, and his dog. I barely had enough food for one, let alone five. I ended up serving my fancy meal on paper plates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 80

Freeze

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 00:02

Today, my mom slaved over a hot stove making a meal for 20 guests. They all cancelled at the last second. We now have leftovers for 20 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 99

By iGreen - 09/07/2011 14:34 - Canada

Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 551

You deserved it 3 631

By charlie - 10/05/2009 01:48 - United States

Today, my mom asked if I wanted to come to dinner with my parents and my grandparents who are in from London. When we got to the restaurant, there was a wait. My mom made me walk home because they could get a table quicker for a group of four than a group of five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 899

You deserved it 3 010

By FishFlingingMonkey - 22/08/2015 03:55 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 313

You deserved it 8 142

By that_culinary_degree_though - 13/05/2014 02:46 - United States - Auburn

Today, my mom invited me over yet again so I could practice my culinary degree by making an exquisite, gourmet meal for her dog; a three year old Pomeranian who pees in my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 384

You deserved it 5 143

By Anonymous - 20/02/2015 01:46 - United States - Lebanon

Today, my mother moved in to my 2-bedroom apartment with me. She brought her boyfriend, 4 chihuahuas, and 2 birds with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 864

You deserved it 5 110

Tasty!

By Andrew Williams - 12/01/2023 06:00

Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 799

Knackered

By Anonymous - 25/11/2021 08:01

Today, when I got home from work exhausted and literally ready to fall over, my mom had me carry several heavy bags of dog food for her. Yesterday, it was coals; before that it was horse feed and gas bottles. Before that, I'd just asked her to keep the hard, physical work to the weekends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 239

Merry Christmas!

By Anonymous - 25/12/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I showed up at my mom’s with homemade soup, since she said she wasn’t hosting Christmas Eve because she had the flu. My entire family was there without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 104

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 25 March 2020 16:58

A few days ago, they didn't heat your room -- now they aren't feeding you. Take the hint: Move Out!

MidnaLink 33

Wednesday 25 March 2020 16:40

Take her plate when dinner is served.

Comments

MidnaLink 33

Wednesday 25 March 2020 16:40

Take her plate when dinner is served.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 25 March 2020 16:58

A few days ago, they didn't heat your room -- now they aren't feeding you. Take the hint: Move Out!

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

Wednesday 25 March 2020 21:58

do your mom is the dog's bitch

GalaxyGirl1123_fml 14

Friday 3 April 2020 10:06

She needs to figure out that she's a mom.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Awkward My ex Music Love AITA Cheating Furniture Introverts Cute Kids Pregnancy Health Healthy Lifestyle Weird Food Sextoys Delivery Social Media Intimacy Cats Relatable Animals Stuck Annoying Work Dogs Gross Embarrassing Toilet

The Top

Today, I took the kids to the pool. I'm short and 20lbs overweight but they talked me into it and I put on a swimsuit for the first time in 10 years. As soon as we got there, a girl my height but a good 150lbs heavier said, "It's so nice to see another big girl in a two-piece!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 286

You deserved it 733

Today, my normally very unadventurous girlfriend decided she wanted to have public sex. We were naked in the back of her car when she saw someone in the distance, had a panic attack, and started screaming uncontrollably. I got arrested because a cop heard the screams and thought I was attacking her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 166

The Top

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I have no sex drive, but faked it to avoid hurting his feelings. It was after he confessed he is not attracted to women, but forced himself to have sex with me because he didn't want to admit he is gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 347

You deserved it 3 687

Today, I don’t think I’ve ever been so angry. I was already mad at my husband, but he asked if we could just skip the boring two-hour argument, assume he’d already given me an empty apology and quietly return to hating each other while at least being civil about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 373

Today, my dad thought it was perfectly acceptable to ask my girlfriend how many guys she screwed before me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 103

You deserved it 1 796

Today, while walking through my living room, I slipped and nearly fell, narrowly avoiding hitting my head against a nearby door jamb. What did I slip on, you ask? A single cat treat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 167

Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 058

You deserved it 1 755

Today, after leaving for a two-week-trip, and thinking this time my mom would finally have no choice but to clean the dirty toilet herself for once, because I’ve been doing it the entire year, along with most other chores, I think you can guess what I did first thing upon my return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 150