All in the Family

By weedvocate - 25/03/2020 14:02

Today, my mother brought home dinner for four people. I was not one of those people. The dog, however, was. FML

agreeclassic 1 807

vote type 1 177

End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
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Welcome!

By Annoyed - 27/04/2025 00:00 - Canada

Today, I invited a friend over for dinner and spent hours preparing a fancy meal. When I opened the door, he walked in with his new girlfriend, his mom, his sister, and his dog. I barely had enough food for one, let alone five. I ended up serving my fancy meal on paper plates. FML

agreeclassic 506

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Freeze

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 00:02

Today, my mom slaved over a hot stove making a meal for 20 guests. They all cancelled at the last second. We now have leftovers for 20 people. FML

agreeclassic 705

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By iGreen - 09/07/2011 14:34 - Canada

Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML

agreeclassic 35 560

vote type 1 3 631

By charlie - 10/05/2009 01:48 - United States

Today, my mom asked if I wanted to come to dinner with my parents and my grandparents who are in from London. When we got to the restaurant, there was a wait. My mom made me walk home because they could get a table quicker for a group of four than a group of five. FML

agreeclassic 68 908

vote type 1 3 011

By FishFlingingMonkey - 22/08/2015 03:55 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML

agreeclassic 21 319

vote type 1 8 149

By that_culinary_degree_though - 13/05/2014 02:46 - United States - Auburn

Today, my mom invited me over yet again so I could practice my culinary degree by making an exquisite, gourmet meal for her dog; a three year old Pomeranian who pees in my shoes. FML

agreeclassic 41 388

vote type 1 5 143

By Anonymous - 20/02/2015 01:46 - United States - Lebanon

Today, my mother moved in to my 2-bedroom apartment with me. She brought her boyfriend, 4 chihuahuas, and 2 birds with her. FML

agreeclassic 33 869

vote type 1 5 112

Tasty!

By Andrew Williams - 12/01/2023 06:00

Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML

agreeclassic 213

vote type 1 808

Knackered

By Anonymous - 25/11/2021 08:01

Today, when I got home from work exhausted and literally ready to fall over, my mom had me carry several heavy bags of dog food for her. Yesterday, it was coals; before that it was horse feed and gas bottles. Before that, I'd just asked her to keep the hard, physical work to the weekends. FML

agreeclassic 884

vote type 1 241

Merry Christmas!

By Anonymous - 25/12/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I showed up at my mom’s with homemade soup, since she said she wasn’t hosting Christmas Eve because she had the flu. My entire family was there without me. FML

agreeclassic 786

vote type 1 106

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 25 March 2020 16:58

A few days ago, they didn't heat your room -- now they aren't feeding you. Take the hint: Move Out!

MidnaLink 33

Wednesday 25 March 2020 16:40

Take her plate when dinner is served.

Comments

MidnaLink 33

Wednesday 25 March 2020 16:40

Take her plate when dinner is served.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 25 March 2020 16:58

A few days ago, they didn't heat your room -- now they aren't feeding you. Take the hint: Move Out!

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

Wednesday 25 March 2020 21:58

do your mom is the dog's bitch

GalaxyGirl1123_fml 14

Friday 3 April 2020 10:06

She needs to figure out that she's a mom.

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Today, I was at the grocery store when I tripped and knocked over a tower of Easter chocolate. The sound was so loud that everyone in the store stopped and stared at me while I tried to rearrange the chocolate bells, bunnies, and eggs. FML

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Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML

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Today, I went to my kid's band concert. She's 12 and in the advanced team. They were the first ones to play and they were so incredibly bad that I laughed. Really, really loud. I was escorted out of the recital. FML

agreeclassic 3 325

vote type 1 7 460

Today, I was meeting up with a friend in a town. He said he was at the restaurant we were going to meet at; I was too. Turns out I was in the wrong town. FML

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Today, I'm going on an 8-hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML

agreeclassic 32 490

vote type 1 4 094