Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, my girlfriend started insulting me on Facebook. Angry and hurt, I let it all out and insulted her back with her obesity. Turns out it was her brother who used her account to play a "prank" on me. FML
Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of a certain plus-sized vocalist, to which she replied, "She's gorgeous!" I said, "That's great because you remind me a lot of her." Now she's not talking to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 5 years dumped me because she got tired of me being thinner than her and, in her own words, making her look bad. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I've recently become serious about getting fit, and have lost nearly 84 pounds. Apparently, when I was fat, I made her look smaller in comparison. When I got slimmer, she insisted I either gain the weight back or she'd leave. So she did. FML
Today, while having dinner with my boyfriend's family, his mom told me that it looks like I've gained quite some weight. When my boyfriend told her that this was a rude thing to say, she said it wasn't rude, just the truth. FML
Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw a bitch fit about her clothes not fitting and how she’s “so fat” to the point of storming out of the house when I asked her to please calm down. Just a couple of hours earlier, we'd ordered food and she ordered a salad, then asked to trade my burger and fries with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
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Top comments
ifuckmonsters 5
And you're surprised?
RochelleRedvines 8
She asked for it. Literally.
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Comments (144)
ifuckmonsters 5
And you're surprised?
EG14_fml 8
#1 rule to being a good boyfriend, never tell her she's fat. Never.
mduffy08 8
Or perish.
BossPathfinderGM 14
Really? I would think "don't insult her" would be a better rule to live by.
vcapelo 19
Just don't feel bad about it and don't go apologize to her. She asked for it and she's the one who needs to get over it! You need to stay cool or else she'll start losing respect for you!
MichellinMan 20
RULE #1 OF FEMALES: Never, ever, ever, never, ever, EVER call a girl fat.
chris_a7x 11
Do you really **** monsters?
HiIAmKevin 8
Lol when a girl tells you to do that you should think OP. Girl psychology is the opposite of what they say!!
ifuckmonsters 5
Obviously, why not?
winkydog4056 16
#45_Winky will add to this comment; even if they ARE fat!
ositoakaluis 16
Because tentacles that why
chris_a7x 11
Dude niceeee
skellingtonfart 18
No matter what she did, NEVER call a girl fat, ever. That's an self-esteem killer right there!
selenagomezlover 8
YOU need to start gaining respect for WOMEN or else they'll lose respect for YOU
Lisha_B 5
Now we know why she isn't speaking to him. You're giving him ********!
motoxracer156 5
U dumb idiot
TipOfTheHat 10
Never ask for something you don't want!
ArielTheMermaid 17
#2, don't tell her she's ugly
ArielTheMermaid 17
#2, don't tell her she's ugly
ArielTheMermaid 17
That was supposed to be a reply to number 1....I have no idea how this happened....
SirFawkes 16
You clicked #2 instead of #1, that's how.
RochelleRedvines 8
She asked for it. Literally.
ninjaboy18 6
Still, you should never call a girl fat.
spekledworf 18
This is an obvious trap he fell into.
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
Girls and their little mind games. Life is such a mystery...
sonicgreg 12
I would have used this situation for food or sex
Schadenfreude45 3
Next time, just ask for a *******.
OhAidan 7
Well.. Maybe in a different timeline...
lilhellian 27
Rule #2 Unless she is a ***** don't ask a random girl for a bj.. They usually are not very happy..
dogpup4 23
Girlfriend, not a random girl.
lilhellian 27
I know.. I was just saying.. >.>
savage93 11
Well that was still a dumb comment. Oh, and im just saying.
OldMemoriesFade 8
It's better then calling her fat, or saying that she's getting fat. I'd prefer my boyfriend to ask for a ********, over call me fat. Who knows that may be like her biggest insecurities, as it is for most women.
Steve95401 49
I don't think he'll be getting a ********, or anything else from her, anytime soon.
panda_lou 11
I don't understand why girls hate ******** so much. He never has to ask for one with me. I have never understood the problem. As for the insult OP delivered I'm not sure what to say. Was her comment rude enough to warrant such an insult? Is she really gaining weight or were you just trying to deliver a low blow? If you were just trying to insult her while making her also insecure about her body therefore unlikely to sleep with you because she now thinks you see her as a pig then I think you did rather well.
Daiyuki 5
So 91, are you saying you're a mind reader or that you give random ******** whenever the mood strikes you? Either way isn't too bad, but I am confused
panda_lou 11
100 - I know what he likes so he doesn't have to ask. I am also rather fond of spontaneous bjs. Lol. So both.
poopshreds 10
who is this 'he' character? don't know his name yet?
panda_lou 11
Nah. I ask questions later. Lol.
bbgman 4
She asked for it...
obnum 19
Yeah idk what she expected...
PinkKawaiiChic 10
Still NEVER tell a girl she looks fat NEVER!!!
BluFlames 8
Well, honesty is a true virtue...
wokawokanomnom 5
Your an idiot... That ones just common sense.
xlorawrz 9
*Facepalm*
BulldogHoops 14
Irony.
boating_guy 33
I'm dying...
lilhellian 27
Quick where's docbastard when we need him! We have a dieing guy over here!
MichellinMan 20
32- I know this is irrelevant, but I live in Tulsa as well!
broncos67 9
32- I thought the exact same thing...
KiddNYC1O 22
8- I love how your profile says "...laugh at how stupid a lot of people can be." So you're laughing at yourself?
lilhellian 27
You never ever fall for that bait! It's rule #1!!
onlychildFTW 34
It's like a girl asking "how do I look? Be completely honest!" Just always say great or something along those lines.
JAMSM 6
And now you learned your lesson
MinecraftGeek 8
And knowledge is power!
Avery1124 9
And what did you learn??
SpottedZebra42 14
That OP's girlfriend is getting fat.
wuffman 10
Lying is always acceptable.