Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, my girlfriend started insulting me on Facebook. Angry and hurt, I let it all out and insulted her back with her obesity. Turns out it was her brother who used her account to play a "prank" on me. FML
Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of a certain plus-sized vocalist, to which she replied, "She's gorgeous!" I said, "That's great because you remind me a lot of her." Now she's not talking to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 5 years dumped me because she got tired of me being thinner than her and, in her own words, making her look bad. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I've recently become serious about getting fit, and have lost nearly 84 pounds. Apparently, when I was fat, I made her look smaller in comparison. When I got slimmer, she insisted I either gain the weight back or she'd leave. So she did. FML
Today, while having dinner with my boyfriend's family, his mom told me that it looks like I've gained quite some weight. When my boyfriend told her that this was a rude thing to say, she said it wasn't rude, just the truth. FML
Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw a bitch fit about her clothes not fitting and how she’s “so fat” to the point of storming out of the house when I asked her to please calm down. Just a couple of hours earlier, we'd ordered food and she ordered a salad, then asked to trade my burger and fries with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
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Top comments
ifuckmonsters 5
And you're surprised?
RochelleRedvines 8
She asked for it. Literally.
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Comments (144)
fortunelady 17
Oh no. Oh no no no no no. You have no idea what you've just unleashed upon yourself. With the most self-confident girlfriend, you've earned yourself days in the doghouse. If it's an area she's already self-conscious about... Godspeed.
happyp 4
when she said insult her in return, she meant tell her that her hair is too shiny, or that her vag is too tight. don't call her fat. duh
songtrees 8
That is one of the things you NEVER say to a woman. May God have mercy on your soul.
Capt_Oblivious 10
And you fell for that? Hopefully now you'll learn.
suboy 10
It was obviously a test/trap. If you wouldve said something nice she probably wouldve loved you sooo much.
Sanrio90 8
I hate people like the OP's girlfriend who play stupid mind games in a relationship. Don't ask something if you can't handle the response, especially if you're the one who was being an ass before in the first place. Maybe you should find a girlfriend whose maturity is above that of a 14 year-old's.
U_GotitDude 18
You shouldn't have went there.. That's a baaaad place to be
weezyFbabylegend 5
Everyone who is defending her is only looking at this one sided. What if she made an even ruder comment to start with?
TaffyMichele 9
Even if her comment was horrible, OP should not have stooped down to her level and insulted her back, even if she asked for it.
SluggerJ 7
NEVER EVER CALL A GIRL/WOMAN/LADY FAT Wong move OP.
chris_a7x 11
He dishes say he was Chinese.... Wong move?
chris_a7x 11
God... Didn't not dishes.
cool_story_bro14 4
YDI, you shouldn't have insulted her.