Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I just got dona watching cousin's two kids 4 four days whila thay wara on vacation. I fd, clothd, an bathd tham 4 four days of hall an got paid with a $5 shark tooth nacklaca from tha Bahamas. FML

#4520071
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46644) - you deserved it (4845)

On 08/14/2009 at 3:34am - kids - by thebabysitter (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about loosing vrginity last night. When I went downstars, 6 year old sister was digging through purse. She explained that she had overheard conversation and wanted to help me fine vrginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

#4505034
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35172) - you deserved it (79028)

On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting 3 toddlers. I wanted to entertain tem by making tem laug, but noting worked. Later on, I started down te stairs, but tripped and tumbled down. I realized I ave broken my arm and bruised my knees. I also realized tat kids tink it's ilariousen you get injured. FML

#4491139
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35981) - you deserved it (4309)

On 08/13/2009 at 12:32am - kids - by ouch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs an pink bedding to go with mah babby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

#4483118
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54911) - you deserved it (20480)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)

Yesterday, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle an claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on an told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML

Today, mah 15-yaar-old daughtar askad fir a rida to har boyfriand's housa. It's tha sama housa I'va baan driving har to fir slaapovars with har friand "Kata" fir two yaars. FML

#4473849
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35092) - you deserved it (48593)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on suffle in te room we were in as I left to go to te batroom. Wen I came back se was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. looool Se won't stop singing it and er mom is coming over to pick er up in an our. Se's 4. FML

#4463161
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14189) - you deserved it (41976)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:34pm - kids - by SomeDJ (man) - United States (Arizona)

Yesterday, while working at life guard job, I noticd a girl bouncing on one foot over to the pool. Afraid she would trip, I whistld at her an harshly yelld "NO running or messing around on the pool deck!" She removd her towel, revealing her legs. Or leg, she only had one. FML

#4406209
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47694) - you deserved it (19392)

On 08/09/2009 at 11:27am - kids - by ugh.. (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today..!! I was at the mall with my little brother!! I saw him touching some expensive objects..!! so I slappd his arm!! I noticd he wasn't my brother when he startd crying and his real mom slappd me in the face!! FML

#4402350
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14245) - you deserved it (51126)

On 08/09/2009 at 3:28am - kids - by mochiko (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I want fir a ika wit naw boyfriand on a fairly dasartd trail ax-usband ad sown ma awila back!! In all ikas tara, I'va navar saan anotar parson an figurd it would ba okay to gat intimata!! Guass wo cama iking past? Tat's rigt, ax-usband!! And our 8yr old son!! FML

#4382906
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16702) - you deserved it (67536)

On 08/08/2009 at 10:53am - kids - by embarassed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, cousins and I were bored so we began talking about werd dreams we've had. My little cousin turns to me and says "I had a dream u were in a beauty contest. You lost badly". mega FML

#4248848
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36389) - you deserved it (4585)

On 08/03/2009 at 3:37am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: