Today, I took my 5-year-old nephew camping. I was about to take him to the outhouse for a bathroom break when he flung the door of the camper open and shouted at the top of his lungs to the entire campground, "We are going to poop now!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML
Today, I was potty-training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML
Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML
Today, I was camping with my family, and had to share a tent with my 13 year old brother. During the night he had to pee, but instead of going outside to use the bathroom, he zipped open a section of the tent, stuck his knob through it, and peed all over my shoes that were drying outside. FML
Today, my dad decided that campground bathrooms are disgusting and that on our upcoming camping trip, we'll have to keep a bucket of cat litter in our tent in case we want to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML
Today, I was babysitting my 5 month-old nephew, who hasn't pooped in two days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolled over and peed on my new carpet. I rolled him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML
Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
On the plus side, you can probably outrun the little shit in case of a bear attack.
ellyhan 11
I actually think that’s kind of adorable
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Comments (9)
RichardPencil 32
On the plus side, you can probably outrun the little shit in case of a bear attack.
ellyhan 11
I actually think that’s kind of adorable
Robin Irwin Simpson 9
I know right? That’s the best thing about kids is that they are TOTALLY honest - gotta say I don’t think this is an FML more like an OMG did he just say that!
Glowworm56 27
Yeah, definitely adorable. It reminds me of a story my boyfriend told me where he was working at a FunPlex and a little girl in a pink dress with fairy wings loudly announced "I GOTTA PEE!" she then repeated this and my boyfriend simply stated "I heard you."
Charlie Given 28
LMFAO 🤣 I have Crohn's and my young kids on many occasions have yelled in public about weather daddy is or has gone poop 💩
1gullible_bugger 34
Kids are so funny. Sounds like something that my nephew would say too. He just recently turned 6. Lol
MissMizery 19
At least he’s excited to use the toilet. I would definitely prefer that over the alternative...
moonmoon 5
Today on: “don’t have kids if you want to keep your dignity, duh”
404wan 19
this is not an fyl or ydi... that's friggin cute!
millsjoshua949 12
Oh for heavens sake. He's only 5. ydi