Today, on my way to a concert, some guy told me I had cool sunglasses....

By incaseudidntkno - 18/9/2011 13:36 - United States

Today, on my way to a concert, some guy told me I had cool sunglasses. I was about to thank him until he punched me in the face. I woke up with no sunglasses and no ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37506

You deserved it

2843

Favorite

incaseudidntkno tells us more :

They were Oil Rig Oakleys and my face still hurts. My friend also got punched in the nose haha.

Miscellaneous

Doomed

Trip Advisor says no

Bad news

By ssondik - 22/6/2015 00:50 - United States - Hebron

Today, I was invited to a fancy-shmancy charity event, and the host - my friend - told me to wear a long, ballroom, fancy gown. Turns out my friend was just being a dick and it was a pool party. I spent $200 on my hair and makeup alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28953

You deserved it

5139

Favorite

By Anonymous - 5/8/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34441

You deserved it

4517

Favorite

By yayaimannoying - 9/3/2010 01:39 - United States

Today, I posted a pic of my prom dress on facebook. The dress looked amazing on me and it just felt so right. So I spent every single dollar I had and some borrowed to buy the dress. When I logged on later that night, the first comment asked "Is this a joke?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

28499

You deserved it

5064

Favorite

By lyssuhhhh - 26/9/2010 23:14 - United States

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman asked me what came on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, "Bacon, egg, and cheese." She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at my face and says, "Laugh at that, jerk." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37487

You deserved it

6562

Favorite

By angry - 28/6/2009 21:05 - United States

Today, I went to go get a new ID because my wallet was stolen, which had my social security card in it as well. I found out that to get your ID you have to have your social security card, and to get your social security card, you need your ID. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57949

You deserved it

8663

Favorite

By fuckoffgramps - 24/1/2016 17:10 - United States - New Freedom

Today, I twisted my knee while cutting firewood with my grandpa. The pain was so crippling, I fell over screaming. His response? "Quit your bitching, I had my kneecaps blown off in Vietnam. They had to stitch 'em back on." He's never been to Vietnam, or even out of the country. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27439

You deserved it

2241

Favorite

By Monkeyspank - 26/1/2017 22:00

Today, my sister decided that it would be a great idea to give my almost two-year-old son some strong black coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6712

You deserved it

618

Favorite

By Sisi - 29/8/2016 16:49 - United States - Mesa

Today, my roommate left a bomb looking package of cookies on the kitchen counter. My sweet tooth got the best of me and I made that split second decision of, "Oh, I'll just have one." Halfway through it, I noticed the fine print, "For dogs" on the package. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5465

You deserved it

11010

Favorite

By Anonymous - 25/11/2010 18:18 - Singapore

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29432

You deserved it

7628

Favorite

By NotThatKind - 24/8/2009 04:28 - United States

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24573

You deserved it

42321

Favorite

By notadoorman - 25/7/2014 18:16 - United States - Elmont

Today, I held the door open for a woman and her kids on my way out of the bank. She started accusing me of patronizing her, and when I just let go of the door in protest, she deliberately leaned in so it hit her in the face. I felt the glares from the entire bank as she pretended to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50999

You deserved it

3999

Favorite

By Anonymous - 14/8/2012 15:42 - United States

Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24829

You deserved it

1747

Favorite

By wingless_angel_7 - 2/12/2010 23:43 - United States

Today, I was online and I saw a friend that I hadn't talked to in two years come online. I IM'ed him, only for him to respond, "I haven't responded to any messages of yours in over a year. Most people would get the hint." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29474

You deserved it

8342

Favorite

By Steven - 3/9/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Llanelli

Judgmental much?

Today, at a supermarket, I ran into a girl I knew in high school. She had 2 kids with her and they were buying school supplies. My cart was full of beer and snacks. After a chat, she left, not before saying, "I hope things get better for you." I have a job and a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1497

You deserved it

185

Favorite

By Anonymous - 2/10/2020 18:02 - Australia - Melbourne

Keep the peace

Today, my girlfriend accidentally put rubbish in the neighbour's bin. Then the old lady took all the rubbish out and threw it on the floor. I came out and tried to calm the situation, but then my girlfriend ran downstairs and tipped her cat food and cat milk bowls over. FML

I agree, your life sucks

600

You deserved it

Favorite

By JAdams - 13/8/2012 00:49 - United States - Newkirk

Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29485

You deserved it

2894

Favorite

By Estee1024 - 24/1/2014 05:28 - United States - San Luis Obispo

Today, my sister found out that Justin Bieber got arrested and now she won't stop crying. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks

47890

You deserved it

5608

Favorite

By Angel - 25/10/2016 20:54

Today, while out to dinner with my adult daughter, I told her I look at her Twitter because it helped me to feel close to her since she rarely calls or visits. When I got home from dinner and looked at her Twitter, she had set it to private. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10203

You deserved it

2502

Favorite

By Anonymous - 3/4/2018 15:00

Today, after 38 years of never meeting my dad, and paying a private investigator thousands of pounds over several weeks of searching, I found him living 2 floors down in the same block of flats. He’s the grouchy downstairs neighbour I’ve hated for 6 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5907

You deserved it

438

Favorite

By Grrrr! - 23/4/2011 14:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to hunt Easter eggs before we have sex. I'm glad he has his priorities straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34889

You deserved it

10883

Favorite

By workworkwork - 3/11/2017 05:00

Today, at the winery, my boss proudly made a spectacle of the new, high quality bottles. After over a year of employment without breaking a bottle, I shattered 3 before lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3425

You deserved it

406

Favorite

By Chance115 - 11/9/2018 23:30

Today, my knee was dislocated. At a haunted house. By a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2561

You deserved it

276

Favorite

By Benjamin - 25/1/2012 05:03 - United States

Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35683

You deserved it

3027

Favorite

By Anonymous - 26/11/2013 16:43 - United States - Erie

Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41964

You deserved it

3516

Favorite

By fat - 7/1/2014 12:41 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I mentioned to my boyfriend that I want to start working out and get rid of my holiday weight. His response? "Okay, just don't join a gym. People will have to see you there." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46102

You deserved it

4964

Favorite

By sleepysophie - 19/10/2013 15:04 - United States - Helena

Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

50493

You deserved it

5508

Favorite

By bad luck skier - 30/12/2014 20:28 - United States - Albany

Today, I went skiing. On the first run of the day, a little girl came out of nowhere and crashed into me. I was fine, but she was hurt, so I called the ski patrol. She told him that I deliberately hit her, and got me kicked out. I was there for 10 minutes. I paid for all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49855

You deserved it

3476

Favorite

By catwoman - 31/10/2009 04:34 - Australia

Today, I learned why my bathroom has a horrible, seemingly irremovable stench. My cat doesn't squat to pee like a normal cat. She stands up, peeing over the side of the litter tray all over the wall and floor, which are now a permanent yellow tinge. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28056

You deserved it

5435

Favorite

By Anonymous - 1/5/2019 18:00

Today, I finally got my forklift license after training for a week. Almost eight hours later, I lost my license by not lowering my forks, crashing into and destroying four overhead light fixtures which cost more than $500 in damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

753

You deserved it

2773

Favorite

By Anonymous - 8/10/2011 16:00 - United States

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52772

You deserved it

7948

Favorite

By Anonymous - 14/11/2014 22:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out one of my girlfriend's recent Google searches was, "should I admit to cheating or just dump him?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

37465

You deserved it

2564

Favorite

By low_expectations - 19/8/2020 02:04

Zoom call from hell

Today, I was yelled at by my mom for not communicating to the rest of my family about the zoom call SHE planned and asked for. The call was to celebrate my birthday. Apparently, it was my responsibility to coordinate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1396

You deserved it

Favorite

By Anonymous - 5/8/2009 11:04 - India

Today, I left my brand new iPhone on the counter, and went to get its cleaning cloth. My grandmother saw a mosquito, and used my iPhone as a fly swatter. I now have a broken iPhone. Good news though: no more mosquito. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54706

You deserved it

5754

Favorite

By princeronron - 8/9/2015 02:02 - Switzerland - Prilly

Today, I spilled the bowl of cat food I'd just filled. I picked it all up in front of my cat, but he refused to eat any of it. I had to put the food back into the packet and fill the bowl all over again. My cat is a prince. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25590

You deserved it

5983

Favorite

By Anonymous - 20/3/2015 16:56 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29230

You deserved it

3594

Favorite

By Anonymous - 22/3/2009 13:04 - Malta

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

195923

You deserved it

34524

Favorite

By Anonymous - 26/3/2015 10:16

Today, after days of looking for it, I finally found the ring my boyfriend gave to me. It was on my roommate's finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35537

You deserved it

2714

Favorite

By Anonymous - 14/5/2011 00:17 - United States

Today, I realized my mom cares more about Kurt's bullying problem on Glee than she does for mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44912

You deserved it

4110

Favorite

By wtf - 1/5/2015 22:57 - United States - Elkhart

Today, my husband wants me to apologize for getting angry when his father told me I'm getting so fat that I look like a whale. I'm not fat, I'm just 8 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35103

You deserved it

3166

Favorite

By memoryloss - 4/12/2011 07:04 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss. Turns out, the medicine he gave me for my head has memory loss as a side effect. He then said "I told you. Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32035

You deserved it

2798

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Wheredidgrungego | 12

#3307833 - Sunday 18 September 2011 19:17

Objects in mirror may be meaner than they appear.

By Cashtangoteam | 10

#3307844 - Sunday 18 September 2011 19:18

You're supposed to black out after the concert

COMMENTS

By iMP0W3R | 0

#3307826 - Sunday 18 September 2011 19:16

first!

baddud300 | 6

#3307837 - Sunday 18 September 2011 19:18

Must have been some nice sunglasses then.

ItsTheKing | 10

#3307855 - Sunday 18 September 2011 19:20

SIRIN! I wanna hear a wee-woo story. Please?

HowAreYouToday | 34

#3307874 - Sunday 18 September 2011 19:24

This is a random thread

WOLFEYES72 | 2

#3307959 - Sunday 18 September 2011 20:00

Sounds like you got... Oh wait that joke includes sunglasses, sorry OP. FYL
AWWWWWWW YEAAAAAAAAAH

By patebishop | 7

#3307829 - Sunday 18 September 2011 19:16

that sucks op. FYL

stro88 | 6

#3307992 - Sunday 18 September 2011 20:20

Damn sounds like the Ortiz vs Mayweather fight. Except in their case it was a belt.

margie2194 | 12

#3308109 - Sunday 18 September 2011 21:09

Those must have been some REALLY nice sunglasses.

incaseudidntkno | 11

#3308146 - Sunday 18 September 2011 21:21

Fortunately I found someone who had an extra ticket to sell. Not cheap but I needed to see these guys in concert haha.

Denikk | 0

#3308152 - Sunday 18 September 2011 21:22

Are the sunglasses ok? I mean, you did get punched in the face...

disneyfan101 | 6

#3308158 - Sunday 18 September 2011 21:24

59- what concert?

trgower13 | 0

#3308255 - Sunday 18 September 2011 21:57

My glasses are famous! Haha

incaseudidntkno | 11

#3308267 - Sunday 18 September 2011 22:00

The Honda Civic Tour: Blink-182 & My Chemical Romance. On the Camden, Nj Waterfront

enonymous | 8

#3308605 - Monday 19 September 2011 0:33

This same shit happened to me when I got the golden ticket for Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.

Spartan55 | 0

#3308708 - Monday 19 September 2011 1:27

What does op mean?

ikickgingers | 15

#3308828 - Monday 19 September 2011 1:37

Optimus prime.

On an interesting note Eagles game is on in 45.

maybeeiwill | 11

#3309617 - Monday 19 September 2011 3:59

36- no one cares about boxing any more... It's all about GSP baby!

rangermedic77 | 5

#3309638 - Monday 19 September 2011 4:06

did you make sure you were still a virgin too?

ikickgingers | 15

#3309680 - Monday 19 September 2011 4:20

130 - Hell yeah. GSP - He is sick as fuck and *swoon*

stro88 | 6

#3309716 - Monday 19 September 2011 4:34

130- you must just be a vagina cuz boxing is still dope. You're just mad cuz when you signed up for a gym they declined you cuz your fat and they don't have heavy overweight as a weight class. GSP is beast though.

sexybeastwon | 0

#3309743 - Monday 19 September 2011 4:44

I know what you meen I would sell my kidney if my ticket got stolen when they came to indy I was frackin amazing

ImFrackinBored | 13

#3310712 - Monday 19 September 2011 8:54

Well damn... now I'm gonna be sketched out to go to the concerts... Blink 182 and Uproar will be worth some punches though XD

dre_bro11 | 12

#3311346 - Monday 19 September 2011 14:57

It'll never feel right when a chick says 'nice penis' anymore. There will always be that fear of being knocked out by a punch to the face and me waking up penisless.

DHoffmann | 9

#3389847 - Wednesday 5 October 2011 6:28

Well, FYL indeed. Too bad some selfish bitch got your probably expensive sunglasses.

By Wheredidgrungego | 12

#3307833 - Sunday 18 September 2011 19:17

Objects in mirror may be meaner than they appear.

L3Paparazzo | 7

#3307914 - Sunday 18 September 2011 19:42

hardlife

MagicallyFat | 12

#3308033 - Sunday 18 September 2011 20:39

That's so silly why would he punch you in the face. Could broken the glasses

gamercanadian | 11

#3310638 - Monday 19 September 2011 8:16

Hello :)

By Cashtangoteam | 10

#3307844 - Sunday 18 September 2011 19:18

You're supposed to black out after the concert

incaseudidntkno | 11

#3308229 - Sunday 18 September 2011 21:46

sorry.

whited666 | 0

#3308544 - Monday 19 September 2011 0:04

I thought it was during?

sydie5 | 12

#3309443 - Monday 19 September 2011 3:08

Omg! OP commented!!!

By takanuva0123 | 0

#3307849 - Sunday 18 September 2011 19:19

I'm sorry but who wears sunglasses to a concert?

amadais | 1

#3307881 - Sunday 18 September 2011 19:29

He or she wasnt in the concert yet

fadingfaith | 4

#3307910 - Sunday 18 September 2011 19:41

Could of been an outdoor concert.

StoryOfTheYear | 13

#3308070 - Sunday 18 September 2011 20:55

I don't see a problem with looking like a tool at all times.

nuttyclorox | 2

#3308664 - Monday 19 September 2011 1:05

amen.

scotty2hottie48 | 0

#3311594 - Monday 19 September 2011 16:28

Was Uproar Festival. Tryin to act like M. Shadows of A7X

evillittleme | 5

#3317032 - Tuesday 20 September 2011 15:25

Maybe s/he was going to see Tool!

evillittleme | 5

#3330182 - Thursday 22 September 2011 23:25

^ in response to 48

RainStorm6632 | 10

#7456985 - Thursday 18 May 2017 20:11

Some people with epilepsy wear sunglasses to concerts bc it dulls the flashing a bit and is less likely to set them off

By borkchop1992 | 15

#3307851 - Sunday 18 September 2011 19:20

you dont punch a guy with glasses

By KayleighRenee | 0

#3307856 - Sunday 18 September 2011 19:21

That's when you do the same to somebody else.

cameron194 | 9

#3308540 - Monday 19 September 2011 0:04

guess that's why the worlds as fucked up as it is lol.. too many ppl like you, ever heard of karma lol

enonymous | 8

#3308612 - Monday 19 September 2011 0:37

Hang on. Gotta Go shirtless and flex the abs before I reply.... Alright there.

Yeah! Fuck people who do that shit

BjgUsername | 12

#3309449 - Monday 19 September 2011 3:12

Ahahahahahaha

By WCARlover | 34

#3307858 - Sunday 18 September 2011 19:21

At least he complimented you first?:)

By CJ42 | 5

#3307861 - Sunday 18 September 2011 19:22

Those sunglasses must have been beastly...but I am really sorry for you the same cuz losing beastly sunglasses sucks...

By kidwiththeface42 | 7

#3307865 - Sunday 18 September 2011 19:23

Decided to mosh early, eh? FYL for having sweet shades.