Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
We are not amused
Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML
Here, have this
Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML
Kids these days…
Today, I'm a host at a restaurant. We had a birthday party for a couple of 15 year old boys and their friends. I went to clean the bathroom at the end of my shift and discovered cake everywhere, including all over the urinal. They were even nice enough to draw a smiley on the mirror with icing. FML
Boundaries
Today, as I'm 7 months pregnant and craving sweets, I helped myself to my MIL's birthday cake a little early. The family got so angry, they actually made me leave the party. My husband agreed with them. FML
Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML
Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML
Great boyfriend, part 2
Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML
Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML
Top comments
evnflr 7
Now that's a shitty situation.
mama2b3 20
First of all your husband sounds really immature. Second, over 40 kids!!? Holy crap!
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Comments (283)
evnflr 7
Now that's a shitty situation.
brunogtz 4
what a crappy pun
gleeeeek 7
I knew somebody would say that!
ninjaboy18 6
Hope you had enough cake!
moop256 10
Was he shit faced when he did that?
imepelepticsir 5
damn, hope there was enought bathroom to go around.
JocelynKaulitz 28
I bet you had a lot of extra cake once some began to realize...
imepelepticsir 5
enough*
Shelbyyyyyyy 4
I actually think its funny!!! (:
dav3800 7
Why would he do that?
PvtParts417 15
Holy shit that's funny
Jakesterk96 8
Over 40? Jesus, your son has a lot of friends.
Discombobulated9 12
I didn't think this was funny, I thought this was disgusting and the husband deserves a high five, in the face, with a chair.
thatssomeBS 9
They need a third voting option. Can we get "Winning" added to "I agree, your life sucks" and "You totally deserved it"? Otherwise I can't vote on FML's like this.
cfalen 0
The cake is a lie!!
mikomu 3
Nice pun. ;)
RrLSf19 0
That's messed up! Those kids probly hate ur son..
tjv3 10
That's illegal. Your husband should go to jail
ImFrackinBored 13
He was right. It was hilarious.
Jonkbaby 23
lmao OP, I would renew your vows right away
kaylamahoney90 12
Absolutely horrible! Hope you had plenty of toilet paper.
littlej0n 0
lol burn
boofgall 16
F the kids lives, they're the ones about to shit endlessly..
kreepers 6
I would severely diss at the entire family if my kid had attended the party and had suffered from the dad's stupidity.
Tswift0806 3
This isn't a That 70's Show episode.
mama2b3 20
First of all your husband sounds really immature. Second, over 40 kids!!? Holy crap!
burp27 0
I don't think they see the crap as something holy
audiophileMom 11
Thought the same thing. It's actually dangerous since it is medication and 40 is too many for a 7yr old. But maybe the party was at his school and they had not much of a choice?
ladyLALAA 29
Didn't you guys ever have a whole class party? But this is very messed up, I think there is something wrong with your hubby.
docscientist 10
Wrong? You mean epic.
RedPillSucks 33
Yes. That's pretty common to invite all the kids in a class/block/whatevergroup so no one feels alienated. I guess the dad doesn't want any more kid parties at his house. He's lucky someone doesn't bring charges against him for tampering with kids foods (WAD: Weapons of Ass Destruction).
ManlyDunsparce 3
I hope they ways fear cake now.
Webslinger66 10
I wish I had that many friends growing up
Jonkbaby 23
this FML made me LMAO
angrynegro7 16
@114-Isn't there a porno with that name?
youjustmademelol 4
Sounds like a crappy party ;)
menechiann 0
LOL! what a legend!
Wangan_Warrior 9
My exact thought! Lol
jess2gd4u 0
I thought it was a bloody crackup!!!!lol
AKSBGU 2
People are way overreacting on this I've seen divorce him or sue him multiple times on this. Those people need to get a grip on reality, if it was in a movie people would laugh their ass off. I'm sure the husband only put enough to make them need to shit really bad, he's probably not gonna jeopardize his own sons life.
lylotrezor 20
It wouldn't make me laugh in a movie. You just DON'T put drugs in people's food, especially children. What if one had had allergies or something? I hope for OP's sake that the parents of the kids don't sue them.
mudkipsan 19
It's not a matter of "would he," because he already did. I don't think this calls for a divorce, but lawsuits are likely a different story. Specifically, this is a somewhat common prank, and is usually treated as a deliberate attempt to poison someone, and is a felony in most jurisdictions. This guy could see up to 10 years in prison, and have to pay up to $15k in fines - and that's not including endangerment of a child. And it's actually pretty dangerous: by ingesting an unknown amount of laxative, you can become severely dehydrated. Most cases of this end up with the victim hooked up to an IV in the hospital, and sometimes they die anyway. That's barring any allergic reactions, and those were adults, not 60 pound kids. Civilly, he would be liable for at least any medical expenses incurred. He would probably be sued by the parents' insurance, who is likely to win. Just paying for the lawyer for his criminal trial, and up to 40 civil trials is probably enough to ruin him and OP. tl;dr shit sucks harder than you realize
jtthegr8 26
I now praise this man xD
desireev 18
This does suck for OP. She has to try to make up a reason that all of the kids got diarrhea from a birthday cake and then do whatever she can to make up for it. And hope that all the children don't go to the hospital for severe dehydration. All while hoping that her husband doesn't get caught because if his complete stupidity! On the other hand, the commenter above is correct. If this was in a movie, everyone would find this to be hilarious! Has anyone seen 'The Hangover'? They were all drugged and it was what made the movie. I know that Roufies are way different than laxatives, but it's true. If it were in a movie, it would be funny. I'm just saying that people should realize what the limits are. And that an immature prank could get someone in deep trouble. Diarrhea causes dehydration. And dehydration can cause brain damage, closing of the veins and arteries, and can even be fatal.
Jonkbaby 23
this is probably the hardest I've ever laughed at an FML
BB_ava 0
*oh god why...*
chili_is_good 0
Because its a sleepover and the house only has one bathroom
inomnomdinosaurs 4
Lol
TexasMud 8
Because have you ever been to a laxative party? It's the shit..
BB_ava 0
^ it's a rageface meme
anarchyx6661 6
I now plan the same
wriptidez 0
no its illegal. can cause health probs
kreepers 6
Yes and invite only enemies!
piccalo 4
such a dick..u got a sado hubby there
ClassyCommando 13
Just make him clean the bathroom after the party.
ChaosAngel17 14
40 kids! I applaud you! How the hell did you keep track of all of them?
AyeTee77 18
I'm pretty sure keeping track of them is the least of her worries...
Iellwen 12
I'm pretty sure keeping track of all of them was pretty easy after the cake-eating part of the B-Day. You know, like snails, you just follow the trail... Too gross?
kemando 22
Easy, check the bathroom.
Yodaevil 4
Ideally you would give them the cake at the end of the party. And had the party a lil further away, so the fun on the way home for the parents begin just before the make it!
brendokendo 0
With lots of toilet paper I'm guessing.
midnightsky1 3
Jerk -_-
Lovechild09 5
omg, your son is popular! lol and thats sucks about 40 kids ******** themselves.