Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML
Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML
Today, I'm a host at a restaurant. We had a birthday party for a couple of 15 year old boys and their friends. I went to clean the bathroom at the end of my shift and discovered cake everywhere, including all over the urinal. They were even nice enough to draw a smiley on the mirror with icing. FML
Today, as I'm 7 months pregnant and craving sweets, I helped myself to my MIL's birthday cake a little early. The family got so angry, they actually made me leave the party. My husband agreed with them. FML
Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML
Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML
Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML
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Top comments
evnflr 7
Now that's a shitty situation.
mama2b3 20
First of all your husband sounds really immature. Second, over 40 kids!!? Holy crap!
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Comments (283)
AcidLacedBong 5
Sounds like some retaliation is in order....dad should watch all 40 kids for an overnight party!!! PAYBACK!!
echoes185 9
Hopefully you have more than one bathroom haha
DrJesse 10
If nothing else,hopefully there's a backyard and a garden hose.
chaziztheman 0
This is the one I passed in moderation :D
sierra142 19
who cares?
ChaosAngel17 14
Good for you. Do you want a gold star?
Yourheadache 19
Here is a cookie for you ( .:. )
jakesinger 1
I have an idea, let's all be total dicks to this guy/girl we don't even know. Yeah, real smart.
Destruct0r 5
Ouch.
TheDorianMode 8
Ain't that some shit?
coletrain11 5
Perfect use of that quote.
medichick 5
What a moron. I would "accidentally" put some in his dinner. Lol
eoah 5
Funny but ******
HSOMGF 5
Your husband is a ****. Divorce him and find a grown up.
japtch 15
Although the husband is enormously stupid, divorce is still a bit over-dramatic.
twisted_cherub 14
I agree that divorce is extreme just for the immaturity. However, if the other parents don't know what he did, once they realize every kid at the party has the runs, they'll think OP gave their kids food poisoning. So she gets ostracized by the parents of all her son's friends, or they find out her husband illegally drugged their children and sue. I wouldn't divorce him, but I might turn him over to the angry mob and make him sleep alone for a few weeks.
Yourheadache 19
Yeah no sex for 2 months, what a dick.
zombicidal 11
divorce? so he did something a Tad stupid but that's nothing to ruin a marriage for I mean really we all do dumb things we weren't thinking ahead about
docscientist 10
The kids will never forget the year they all shit themselves, something they'll laugh about later. Grow up, it's not the worst thing he could've done.
RedPillSucks 33
Why wait around for the worst thing?
ejjamael 5
no sex for two month? that not gonna teach him nothing!
sparxva 12
It is not "just a tad stupid" it is an intentional criminal act. He could spend a long time in prison for his stunt. That he would do this to his own son shows what an asshole he is. Divorce this ass and protect your son from being abused for your husband's amusement.
jaredjudd21 2
Hopefully the line to the bathroom isn't too long. You might have kids ******** all over the place.
ninjuh_wingman 29
Damn. What a load of shit.
yuzuhere 21
Well, there's the perfect excuse to start investing on Mr. Clean.