Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML
Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML
Today, I'm a host at a restaurant. We had a birthday party for a couple of 15 year old boys and their friends. I went to clean the bathroom at the end of my shift and discovered cake everywhere, including all over the urinal. They were even nice enough to draw a smiley on the mirror with icing. FML
Today, as I'm 7 months pregnant and craving sweets, I helped myself to my MIL's birthday cake a little early. The family got so angry, they actually made me leave the party. My husband agreed with them. FML
Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML
Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML
Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML
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Top comments
evnflr 7
Now that's a shitty situation.
mama2b3 20
First of all your husband sounds really immature. Second, over 40 kids!!? Holy crap!
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Comments (283)
mariselita93 7
And you are married to him? Wow!
Newzealeb 3
Trust me it'll come in handy to have him do that when you have unwanted guests at your house ..
clownpocket74 1
Drugging little kids with potentially deadly shit that's real funny. Your husband should be arrested and have some sense beaten into his idiotic head
banta98 5
It looks Like the shit hit the fan
desertpunk75 11
Lol what a dick. Still hilarious though. Your house must have STUNK after lol
FleshForFantasy 3
That sucks! Make him clean the bathroom or whatever other mess occured that day.
Petertheman 0
Funny shit lol he is a true boss lol
Petertheman 0
You guys are so uptight it was for fun and games
Sketchisan 27
Yeah, I poison kids for fun all the time. *sarcasm*
jaredofmo 22
Have fun with the lawsuits. You know he did wrong, so save your neighborhood rep by testifying against him. Chances are he'll go to jail, so I hope you have a good job... I hope the kids didn't have horribly bad reactions. Though yeah, 40 kids with uncontrollable diarrhea is pretty horrific in its own way. Honestly, what a stupid douche. If he thought this was a funny joke, chances are he's not mature enough to be a good father. I'm going to guess that since your kid's seven, this isn't the first time he's done something stupid.
OG_Treezy 2
YDI for having 40 kids at your house.. How about giving your kid a normal childhood and letting 3 or 4 kids come over? That's how it was when my friends and I were kids. Actually, how does a seven year old even know 40 kids??
remz89 3
What difference does it make, the point of this fml is the laxative not the amount of kids.... I had over 40 ppl at my birthday when I was younger. And they could also have a big family..