Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML
Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML
Today, I'm a host at a restaurant. We had a birthday party for a couple of 15 year old boys and their friends. I went to clean the bathroom at the end of my shift and discovered cake everywhere, including all over the urinal. They were even nice enough to draw a smiley on the mirror with icing. FML
Today, as I'm 7 months pregnant and craving sweets, I helped myself to my MIL's birthday cake a little early. The family got so angry, they actually made me leave the party. My husband agreed with them. FML
Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML
Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML
Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML
Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML
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Top comments
evnflr 7
Now that's a shitty situation.
mama2b3 20
First of all your husband sounds really immature. Second, over 40 kids!!? Holy crap!
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Comments (283)
chels1994 11
Those poor kids...that poor cake.. I hate this whole situation :(
teyyoshi 19
your husband is a bitch, it is not a joke at all...kids are ignorant!!
Ins0mau 20
I think you mean "innocent".
drooby 5
What a shit party
Xianthos 2
Its time to get some lawyer hired :-P Calling your husband jerk is understatment of the year.
kreepers 6
Evil husband. Ingenious way for dads to tell their kids how much they don't like their friends!!
clue_me_in 20
Wow. Your husband is a dumbass, and I hope none of those kids had any health problems.
vettle 6
I'm putting YDI since you must have known he was a moron before marrying him.
monagro 22
I'd really be pissed off if I was the father of one of those kids.
fmessiah 19
Get dressed into your sexiest lingerie and handcuff him/tie him to the bed, whisper that you have to prepare yourself and give your sexiest walk to the ensuite where you will change into a dominatrix outfit. Make your way back into the bedroom and put a blindfold on him. Raise his legs up so his arse is raised and start to use your tongue in an imaginative way... then BANG surprise ENEMA. Tell him that's how the children felt and go sleep on the couch, leaving him chained up. (you will probably want to prepare the bed for the expected mess beforehand).
lovemeorloseme7 4
orrrrr instead of going through all that trouble......just add some Laxatives to his next meal you cook him (assuming you are the one that cooks the meals). and when he asked why you did that, just have your SON reply back to him "because I thought it would be funny".... :). and if you wanted to go a step further....occupy the bathroom when you give him the bathroom so he has to go outside.... mmhmm.
lovemeorloseme7 4
"when you give him the bathroom.." correction.. "when you give him the meal.." my bad.
ChaosAngel17 14
57- That's oddly specific...
japtch 15
66 - I agree. Almost disturbingly so...
fmessiah 19
But that would be boring and glum, my method has the added bonus of a very fast change from oooer kinky sexy time to oh my god kill me now instead of just going to the toilet frequently for a short period of time. Extreme punishment vs going to the toilet.
J9DeeZy 4
You have this revenge thing down to a science.
twisted_cherub 14
Or...teach him a real lesson. Have someone call you, OP. Get very grave while listening to them talk. When you hang up start crying to your husband that one of the kids at the party just died in the emergency room of severe dehydration from chronic diarrhea, ask him how you're supposed to explain this to your son, tell him it's his fault. Of course, your son has to be in on it. Give him the privilege of telling his dad, "[insert name here] isn't dead, but that should teach you not to play mean tricks on kids."
tylerryder 4
Haha XD Whata guy!! That's ****** hilarious, I'm sorry about the outcome though XD