Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
Little shit
Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML
Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML
People of Walmart
Today, a bratty kid at Walmart called my mom a "fat bitch" when she wasn't walking fast enough for him. Enraged, I gave him the meanest death glare I could muster and I tore him a new one, right in front of his mother, who then defended her kid, saying that my mom and I should both lose a few pounds. FML
Parent #1 of the Year
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML
Sorry Pat
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
No more bring your kids to work days
Today, I took my 6 year-old to work. A normally docile child, she chased me around with her toy - beating me with it while all my colleagues watched - not stopping despite me requesting her to. When she finally lost said toy, she threw a huge tantrum. Guess who's banned from my office. FML
Top comments
Sammeh_Higgins 0
Kids have gotten so disrespectful.
Moota 9
Someone needs to have a little talk with daddy about name calling?
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Comments (247)
Kovu_fml 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Don't be such a bitch!
pancakerocks 1
the truth hurts
Cyacide 4
1- You don't deserve that picture, judging from that comment, you're not nearly cool enough.
loveanthony645 5
How is she a bitch? Kids need to learn they cannot get everything they ask for.
kalejaxson 5
68 - Ya, like the kids in your picture. I'm sure they asked you to take it down but you're not listening to those little troublemakers are you?
getoustahere 7
Don't be such a dick!
kaprookie 3
OP no child should ever speak to a parent like that, give them a smack, take them home and send them to their room for an hour or so. Take them out later, make them apologise and understand what they did was wrong, then focus on punishing your husband.
Rinat_fml 26
25, you're lame.
fatguy07 1
112- amen! That's whats wrong with alot of kids these days. Nobody wants to punish their kids because obviously its frowned upon now.
zombicidal 11
am I the only one that noticed the "!" in place of the I in bitch
Discombobulated9 12
Since this kid is also YOUR son, you would have also contributed to his bratty behaviour.
tyghl55 4
Hey kovu has anyone told you that you're a complete ******* nerd loser for playing wow and loving my little pony? You must be asian
white16sox 19
118 my mother never raised her hand to me when I was little, and I'm usually pretty respectful to my elders.
Kovu_fml 16
If the husband is calling her a bitch, she's obviously being a bitch a lot. As I said, don't be such a bitch.
mp1998 10
I play WoW too
Jonkbaby 23
op that's when you bring the pain
shezie_lol 0
Obviously u r one of those people who get wat they want. This lady was teaching her kids dicipline and not to be spoilt wat did she get in return a nasty comment from u and a painful bite in the ass from her child and father cut her some slack
firecopy 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Don't worry. I'm almost positive you're not a female dog.
ikickgingers 15
Don't worry. I'm almost positive you're an asshat.
getoustahere 7
Asshole*
firecopy 6
I'm certainly not either. Please explain why you think I am?
ikickgingers 15
^^^^ A-S-S-H-A-T
gabrielbaby 9
I found this quite entertaining. Because I'm almost certain she isn't a female dog either. If only people could use good insults and not something that means dog.
getoustahere 7
That's not the only meaning to the word "bitch" and when somebody calls you a "bitch", they don't mean female dog.
gabrielbaby 9
That's true, but why not say a word that truly means something bad. Most cuss words are stupid words. That really have no true insult too them if you think of the logic. Many are slang. Slang is not logical. A true insult has a true meaning behind it.
firecopy 6
Oh you mean the "lewd or immoral woman" definition. I'm quite sure she is not that either. In fact, she just seems to be a responsible mom with some husband issues.
getoustahere 7
So you're saying you want the boy to call his mother something that truly means something bad?
firecopy 6
Heavens NO!!! If people were trying to perceive my comment that way, then I do apologize for the misunderstanding. I was trying to make an "Ah multiple definition joke" and "you funny-stupid guy".
coolcaarlos 3
Wow... Just stop. Please
getoustahere 7
I was talking to #107
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Female dogs are bitches, but not every bitch is a female dog.
gabrielbaby 9
No I certainly did not mean for the child to say a word like that, but I was responding to other commenters. Also if the father had used a better word, like a very large word, the child probably wouldn't have been able to repeat it.
BeachBoi_Alex 7
Asshat... is it an hat for your ass? Or just a an ass-shaped hat? ...
monique8axel 6
I don't see why people thumbed it down I found it pretty hilarious
Sammeh_Higgins 0
Kids have gotten so disrespectful.
m0tl3ycru3 0
Well in this case it's the Dad's fault for calling the OP a bitch in front of his kid
ihasbrains 10
Where do you think they get their role models from? Lol!
MizzErikaHart 8
I heard swear words all the time growing up but I never repeated them until I was like 8 or 9 and it certainly wasn't around, or directed at my parents.
taternuts 0
ya there's been a real downhill slide since the days of your youth ten years ago. Respect is taught, I'd never drop a bomb like that on my parents. Kids will lash out and op's partner shouldn't have given him the ammunition
Buttsexpirate 9
The second thing they've seen was my hand spanking the shit out of my kid if he spoke that way to me.
Meme1988 18
Time for Family meeting maybe??!
MagicallyFat 12
A few back hands can fix that
thisisafunnyname 12
what if op's son is 20?
SOD_sonofdixie 5
I don't know why parents put up with that kind of attitude. If I had said that to one of my parents rest assured that I would have spanked til my ass fell off and I wouldn't do it again.. End of story.. People need to remember how to punish a child.
crymore007 11
I'm respectful, and I'm sick of all the assholes in my generation making me look bad. what the **** did the other parents do wrong?! in this case they obviously cussed in front of the kid, but I mean in general. how do you **** up that bad?
glglgl19 5
All generations are ****** up when their young but by the time they get old they hide it.
ItsYourMamaDoe 0
89, Why would a 20 year old throw a tantrum about not getting a toy?
tjv3 10
This is why animals eat their young
monster1999 0
Yea I know I'm only twelve and am not fucken trusted so now I'm tryna run away but my dad fell asleep on the friqqn couch ?
milyfesux97 3
sorry but this was hilarious
white16sox 19
162 I now need a "Lost Brain Cells" sign.
chelseaheming 0
I hate how "uninnocent" this generation is. I mean-i'm not that old, but i used to play on swings, and run around on the playground, and do kid stuff. Now all i see is kids on their ipods, or laptops or phones. what kind of parent lets their 4 year old kid have an iphone?! Obviously its too young.
morgan020 0
My son is 3 and has my old iPhone. It has no Internet or cell service just a few games and some music. He loves dancing and the radio stations where I live suck so he has his own music on there. Also he only gets to use it for something other than music when we are on long car rides or at a doctors appointment since they take forever and I am pregnant so they are hard to avoid. I'd rather him kill the battery on his phone instead of mine. Oh and I get complimented all the time on how well he behaves because I do discipline him. And all small children throw fits over not getting what they want. It's how it is handled by the parents that makes the difference. I let him play with it for a few seconds in the store then he has to put it back where it belongs and we move on. No screaming or crying and we are both happy. He got to see something new and push all the buttons and the best part is I don't have to buy a $20 toy.
ieatcats 0
look at you assuming the child knew what it meant for all you know he could be like 4
Hannahp101 6
Never to old to be punished for treating your elders like that
laceup7 4
At least he's not a fat ass like Higgins
sulhaq 4
Well at least he didn't pull a cartman on you when his mom didn't get him an iPad :p
MaskingTape 2
Mom? Can I borrow your lipstick? I like to look pretty before I get f*cked.
cntryiscntrywide 0
mom can yu take me out to dinner? why Hun? cause I like to be wined and dined before I get ******!
jwade11 12
If that was me in your situation I'd be so pissed at my husband for talking badly bout me in front of our child!!
SemperFi_23 6
She doesn't even kiss me. The least she could do is kiss me before I get ******!!
tammygirl 4
What's a cartman?
Moota 9
Someone needs to have a little talk with daddy about name calling?
poopdollar123 4
daddy will be next to write an FML....
Zareen 0
Someone learnt their 'bad' words a little early...
Michael_92 20
I would have a talk to your husband. That's a situation you don't want to continue. Also ask as to why he called you a bitch maybe.
MizzErikaHart 8
She won't like that answer. Her dude will be like, "cuz ur a bitch"
uprising_fml 0
I think 'daddy' may be the one to blame for the child's horrible use of language ... when I was little I didn't even know what 'bitch' meant .
MaskingTape 2
Sounds like a good use of the word to me. That kid says it like it is.
uprising_fml 0
or maybe the father is just an asshole and OP is not a bitch . the kid doesn't 'know how it is' , he is just repeating what the dad said .
cmars3 7
I agree. My father used to send me back to my moms saying awful things about my stepdad. Some dads are petty assholes.
MaskingTape 2
I'm just wondering why there's a store that sells toys in her kitchen.
MaskingTape 2
Apparently my comment about women and kitchens, and why I wondered why a store was in her kitchen, was moderated. My bad. I see kitchens are oppressive now, just like offices are for men.
J3R3MYY 14
Ah.. like father like son!
drealmorales 2
Time to take your kid to the MAURY Show! :D