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Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin wall separating our bedrooms during sex. They didn't even stop. FML

#20956290
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43799) - you deserved it (3388)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by BreakingTheMood (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42905) - you deserved it (11197)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

#20951750
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56601) - you deserved it (3288)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm - intimacy - by f (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML

#20950523
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44576) - you deserved it (2948)

On 11/08/2013 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by JN5SLK (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

#20950354
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38208) - you deserved it (16134)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:02pm - intimacy - by notsogood - United States

Today, my husband's version of roleplaying was pretending that he actually wanted to have sex with me. FML

#20950083
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4) - you deserved it (0)

On 11/08/2013 at 9:00am - intimacy - by xomelodygervais (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML

#20948735
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48955) - you deserved it (6032)

On 11/07/2013 at 3:52am - intimacy - by thatescalatedquickly (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

#20946422
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37554) - you deserved it (8306)

On 11/05/2013 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by roughsexgonewrong (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20946325
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24711) - you deserved it (50374)

On 11/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Something I said? (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my sex face is definitely amusing after the third girl in a row started laughing at it. FML

#20945549
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37378) - you deserved it (6431)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by UnfortunatelyAmusing (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

#20944786
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55884) - you deserved it (2830)

On 11/04/2013 at 12:45am - intimacy - by TheTruthofWomen (woman) - United States

Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML

#20942318
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51252) - you deserved it (4097)

On 11/02/2013 at 9:21am - intimacy - by justme - United States (Ohio)

Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML

#20941234
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36986) - you deserved it (2653)

On 11/01/2013 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Champignon (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)



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