Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
Today, I turned off my boyfriend's Xbox while he was playing because I wanted to talk to him about getting more serious with our relationship. As I did so, he said, "That's not the only thing you just turned off" and promptly broke up with me. FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about celebrities he finds attractive. All of these beautiful, talented, glamorous women were starting to make me feel very plain, so he attempted to console me by saying, "But I love you. You're attainable!" FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML
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Top comments
joefrazier 20
Well... It is the World Cup.
LotsOfConfusion 9
Something tells me that an infinite number of women an relate to this FML these days!
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Comments (164)
spatula232 25
Nothing gets between us men and the World Cup...
warsun 27
"Babe you are one sexy person and I want you sooo bad. Now can you get the **** out of the the way of the tv? I'm watching the World Cup"
MysticMonkey 9
Or woman in my case.
A07 48
But .. did'nt Australia get knocked out?
MisterEx 28
And in this case, even double D cups!
urdirtyolduncle 15
I can understand his struggle. He can score with u any day of the week, but the FIFA World Cup only opens it's bosoms to us men every 4 years.
RedPillSucks 33
Maybe she should have picked another time to be intimate rather than doing it when it was clear he was intently involved in something else. Guys are not all consumed about sex. Not all of us will drop everything just because you got naked. Maybe tell him you'all can do it doggy style so he gets to watch the TV and has a place to put his beer. *hides behind bed from the onslaught of downvotes*
incoherentrmblr 22
#84, have you ever been to jury duty? It agonizly boring to the point where you'll do anything to get out of it, and I do mean anything...
jazmin3012 28
Wonder what match he was watching
xx000o 27
There's a time and place for everything.
hufflepuffle 13
102 Thank for the advice professor Oak.
JJ_86 22
Yup. OP just need to wait for her scoring chance.
soccerguy2o1 7
Doesn't mean they are gonna watch the rest of the World Cup.
DragonDude 24
Personally, I prefer the Stanley Cup.
venfinch 10
You are an asshole just because he believes that women can like the same things men like just means he believes in equality and being a feminist is not a bad thing
DavidKnows 11
84....the Super Bowl is on a Sunday. The courtrooms are closed on weekends. Being sequestered through the weekend as a juror is highly unlikely.
nygyrfan 10
hey. stfu. your username is bluemarshmallow8.
cballin15 1
hey, why don't you calm your feminism down a notch. Not everything has to be a drag, get over yourself
joefrazier 20
Well... It is the World Cup.
kittykx 4
go COSTA RICA!!! nothing gets in between of my futbol games. not even my boyfriend giving me oral muahahha I'd push him off like bye Keisha!
more4me 27
I agree. It IS the World Cup. I am a woman but I know better.
Chibi_Kitten 24
Yeah!!! It was surprising US even made it passed the first game..I remember on the first day of the World Cup event, the professor in college let us watch the game.
TekBoi 2
She's stupid if she's not there watching with him!
LotsOfConfusion 9
Something tells me that an infinite number of women an relate to this FML these days!
spatula232 25
Well the World Cup only comes once every 4 years. Your girl can be seductive whenever she wants
FatherofTime87 18
Why do some women feel the right time to try to test their seduction skills is when a man is already occupied with something that's obviously important to him? And then they take it personal when it doesn't work
sarah2424 2
What are you talking about? I am a woman and in my relationship I'm the one telling him he better leave me alone while a game is on. He could care less about football, where as I love it.
TunaFireStarter 16
#75, now I'm not saying all women are like this, but I'm willing to bet that for at least some, they want to see if they are desirable enough that they can get their man to focus on them instead of whatever the man finds important. Then their egos get deflated when they can't so they get upset.
sodapop83 14
As a woman, I have to say that the World Cup is far more enjoyable for me than it is for men because I watch it for the beautiful game and the men playing ;D
Godsofdracos 15
That's a pretty big foul he made.
illegalbeagle69 23
Ehh, I mean not really. He showed he was interested in her, he was just busy doing something. I mean if the woman was doing something, and the boyfriend wanted it: "oh well, deal with it. She doesn't have to be in the mood for you all the time."
Godsofdracos 15
It was a joke no ones got yet. Apparently people are super serious around this time.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Except he did say he was in the mood, but expected her to wait for the end of the game. That’s a bit contradictory and not very enticing. “Ok let’s have sex at 9.30pm, can’t wait!”
World_Burner 13
Yeah, got the joke #4. Just should have been "she" not "he".
Askzombie 14
Thumbs up for USA to win on Wednesday!!
duckymtz 12
Its on Tuesday at 3. Go USA!!!
rivaraven 35
18, you do realize people live in different time zones?
SMHsohard 22
Yes, but even with 4 time zones in the Continental US, it's still going to be on Tuesday at some point.
ThoranSlock 13
I like USA but i'm from Belgium so can only disagree, good luck tho and may the odds be ever in your favor *gets in his bunker for protection against infinite number of american downvotes*
ferretkid 13
That's when you give him a *******... Most guys can't resist a *******
mbwilks 10
My bf doesn't like ********. But I know for a fact he would not have denied me if he was watching the World Cup. He hates sports. ;)
Schizomaniac 24
Hates sports and doesn't like ********. Man card revoked.
Crofty92 17
And he can still see the TV!
Divia1 9
#35 -whispers- It's because you're bad at it.
cakefete2 31
You're probably right. I thought I didn't like them either, until one person was kind enough to show me the error of my ways.
GentlemanBastard 15
******** are great. Having your dick raked against teeth to the soundtrack of slurping and gagging noises is awful. Therein lies the distinction.
RedPillSucks 33
Especially when her braces wires come off
jazzy_123 20
#44 please don't me he also doesn't like Bacon..
Teddzz 19
The World Cup before anything else girl...
1dvs_bstd 41
there are somethings you just can't win, woman!
Mattribute 13
Try again during halftime(;
Pleonasm 36
He probably was talking about Ochoa, and not you; I know I want that guy, he's phenomenal.
hellnosucka 27
That guy is a real catch...
Pleonasm 36
Yea he's a real keeper; and he never drops the ball.
hellnosucka 27
It's my goal to score one with him.