Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
Today, I turned off my boyfriend's Xbox while he was playing because I wanted to talk to him about getting more serious with our relationship. As I did so, he said, "That's not the only thing you just turned off" and promptly broke up with me. FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about celebrities he finds attractive. All of these beautiful, talented, glamorous women were starting to make me feel very plain, so he attempted to console me by saying, "But I love you. You're attainable!" FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML
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Top comments
joefrazier 20
Well... It is the World Cup.
LotsOfConfusion 9
Something tells me that an infinite number of women an relate to this FML these days!
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Comments (164)
omgzitdanix3 6
Stupid World Cup!!! Record it and watch it later (;
RedPillSucks 33
It's not the same. Plus, if you overhear someone discussing the game and the score then it's doubly ruined.
VenVen_fml 4
You should know better! wait till after its over if u want their full attention ;)
elyx_fml 16
If you can give him a BJ u can be happy:)
callmekakarot 10
he has a point there..
vlalam 24
lol, is he a keeper or what? trying to aim 2 birds with one shot I guess
howlingwolf89 16
My man!
TogeBara 12
Priorities are important in a relationship, and you aren't one of those priorities. Seriously, nothing is more important than the needs of a spouse or partner. Another reason I hate sports.
GentlemanBastard 15
So, every time your partner wants sex, you immediately drop whatever you're doing and meet their needs? What if you're not in the mood? If you want that, I suggest a ******* machine. A big old hydraulic *****. Good for your needs, and doesn't have any other priorities.
poisongirl708 11
Yeah... Not a good time to be seductive around World Cup time
lulinator 40
Silly girls. When will you realize you'll always come second to major sporting events?
ladybugz23 13
ill leave him alone and go out with your friends or to a bar have a drink and play pools. don't let him know where you going because he's busy watching TV.