Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
Today, I turned off my boyfriend's Xbox while he was playing because I wanted to talk to him about getting more serious with our relationship. As I did so, he said, "That's not the only thing you just turned off" and promptly broke up with me. FML
Today, my husband and I were talking about celebrities he finds attractive. All of these beautiful, talented, glamorous women were starting to make me feel very plain, so he attempted to console me by saying, "But I love you. You're attainable!" FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML
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Top comments
joefrazier 20
Well... It is the World Cup.
LotsOfConfusion 9
Something tells me that an infinite number of women an relate to this FML these days!
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Comments (164)
Demoniq 25
Oh no! Your partner is not in the mood when you are? He must wonder what that feels like.
Nessco 36
You need to choose your moments when doing this sort of thing.
MoodiQ 8
*4 years
MoodiQ 8
looks like you crossed the line he shouldn't have left you without spraying a line (that white foam) next to the tv
opj77_fml 13
Don't be upset, at least he noticed you. The World Cup is only every 4 years. Go Colombia!!
lexi365 20
Germany!!!
Han1156 23
USA
kittina 22
COSTA RICA!!
arturo_s 10
COLOMBIA!
RedPillSucks 33
MARS
fsomelife 26
Well, what did you expect?? It's the World Cup! Furthermore, he's such a gentleman that DESPITE YOU BLOCKING THE WORLD CUP, he complimented you. He's a keeper.
brandoneyez1 25
That's when you go play with yourself and no matter how much he begs you don't let him join you.
klorehore 24
You know your man got a huge interest in football, save yourself the frustration and seduce him between the matches and not during. Its like a test "What do you like more, me or football? " and then feel sorry for yourself when he would rather do it at a more suitable time for him.
MinaGermania 12
Exactly what I was thinking!!!!
Adam5858 17
Last 16,too good to skip !
liesseling 13
why would you distract your bf while he's watching the world cup, how selfish